Is late 20's too old to learn how to date?

• Orange00
  
  Posts: 2
  
  
  Jul 08, 2012 3:15 AM GMT

  Okay -
  
  This will sound pathetic, I know.
  
  I'm in my late 20's and am just now beginning to think about looking for someone.
  I've never been on a date - at all. I've never had a lot of interest in dating or even sex, so I'm totally oblivious on how to approach anyone, or even know if someone is sending me signals that their interested.
  I've had crushes, but were too afraid to ask them out or even indicate I liked them.
  I don't even know where to begin learning the social skills needed because most of those things one learns in high school, but because I have always been ashamed of my sexuality and never had an interest in a relationship, I know I lack the needed skills.
  I'm 27, am I too old? I think I'm probably a lost cause at this point.

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  Jul 08, 2012 3:17 AM GMT

  Yep, you're shit outta luck. Might as well stick with bathhouses and Grinder now. You waited too late.
  
  /sarcasm

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  Jul 08, 2012 5:50 AM GMT

  I was new to dating in my late 20's. Experience makes it better and builds confidence. You clearly have only one option, do it.

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  Jul 08, 2012 5:59 AM GMT

  Knowledge and experience do not come with an age limit. There are plenty of men out in the world, older than you, who still haven't finessed the art of dating.

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• Montague
  
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  Jul 08, 2012 6:09 AM GMT

  You missed the train to date-land, now all roads lead to lonelyville..

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  Jul 08, 2012 6:16 AM GMT

  better go and adopt a few cats

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• Machina
  
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  Jul 08, 2012 6:18 AM GMT

  Never too old to date...
  
  It takes practice, but you will never get better until you give it a go. You're bound to make mistakes as we all do, but that "comes with the territory" as they say.
  
  I'm sure that getting into it now, on your own terms when you actually have a desire, is the best thing that you could do. Forcing the issue earlier in life could have resulted in some problems because you simply weren't interested.
  
  Good luck. You'll do just fine.

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  Jul 08, 2012 6:25 AM GMT

  Orange00 saidOkay -
  
  This will sound pathetic, I know.
  
  I'm in my late 20's and am just now beginning to think about looking for someone.
  I've never been on a date - at all. I've never had a lot of interest in dating or even sex, so I'm totally oblivious on how to approach anyone, or even know if someone is sending me signals that their interested.
  I've had crushes, but were too afraid to ask them out or even indicate I liked them.
  I don't even know where to begin learning the social skills needed because most of those things one learns in high school, but because I have always been ashamed of my sexuality and never had an interest in a relationship, I know I lack the needed skills.
  I'm 27, am I too old? I think I'm probably a lost cause at this point.

  
  
  I'm in the same boat, being in my mid twenties. I would like to think it's not too late for either of us, although it would be nice for it to happen sooner than later.

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• stevendust
  
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  Jul 08, 2012 7:38 AM GMT

  BlackLabSD saidYou clearly have only one option, do it.

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• RichLather
  
  Posts: 73
  
  
  Jul 08, 2012 7:59 AM GMT

  I am in the same exact situation at 31. Your life could be worse.

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• Havasu
  
  Posts: 135
  
  
  Jul 08, 2012 9:00 AM GMT

  I would invite you to join our local quilting club for aging spinsters, but you're probably too far away.

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  Jul 08, 2012 10:16 AM GMT

  I did not start dating until my mid-30s (being gay was illegal in the UK armed forces until 2000). I had a blast. I would say the only drawback is that you have to develop your emotional maturity very fast.

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• Medjai
  
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  Jul 08, 2012 10:24 AM GMT

  I just went on my first date a year ago at 23. I'm still with the guy. So no, you're not too old. Just too stuck in your ways.

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  Jul 08, 2012 2:41 PM GMT

  Well let's see...how to meet someone and how to date.
  
  1 Meet guys. Do this the way you make new friends with anyone.
  2 Casually invite him to do something interesting you both like to do.
  3 Have fun.
  
  
  
  

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  Jul 09, 2012 2:09 AM GMT

  The guys are just teasing you...My first serious BF was when i turned 28..(i am now 36)..it lasted for 2 years..i couldn't move with him..so we ended it Get out there and go get yourself a nice one !!...and your first and hopefully your last should be a well rounded nice guy..stay away from bad boyz..like me..

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  Jul 09, 2012 3:41 AM GMT

  When you say date, what exactly does that mean?

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• allatonce
  
  Posts: 904
  
  
  Jul 09, 2012 3:43 AM GMT

  explorer1986 said

  Orange00 saidOkay -
  
  This will sound pathetic, I know.
  
  I'm in my late 20's and am just now beginning to think about looking for someone.
  I've never been on a date - at all. I've never had a lot of interest in dating or even sex, so I'm totally oblivious on how to approach anyone, or even know if someone is sending me signals that their interested.
  I've had crushes, but were too afraid to ask them out or even indicate I liked them.
  I don't even know where to begin learning the social skills needed because most of those things one learns in high school, but because I have always been ashamed of my sexuality and never had an interest in a relationship, I know I lack the needed skills.
  I'm 27, am I too old? I think I'm probably a lost cause at this point.

  
  
  I'm in the same boat, being in my mid twenties. I would like to think it's not too late for either of us, although it would be nice for it to happen sooner than later.

  
  
  OMG you two should date. Problem solved.

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  Jul 09, 2012 4:23 AM GMT

  I'm 25 and I've been on 2 dates in my life, both in the last month. One advantage to starting older: you learn what does and does not work faster.

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  Jul 09, 2012 4:26 AM GMT

  Time to move back in with mom, adopt some cats, write your memoirs and give your dancing shoes to charity, and your glitter bombs to needy teenagers in the gay ghetto malls.

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  Jul 09, 2012 4:27 AM GMT

  meninlove said Well let's see...how to meet someone and how to date.
  
  1 Meet guys. Do this the way you make new friends with anyone.
  2 Casually invite him to do something interesting you both like to do.
  3 Have fun.
  
  
  
  

  QFT*

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  Jul 09, 2012 4:35 AM GMT

  If its any consolation to you, I've got an inherent inability to understand some aspects of socializing on basic levels most of the time. I really have to understand someone's background, beliefs and character in formal and informal settings to actually understand the small things they're talking about sometimes... Idk, if its rooted in OCD, or just how out of touch I am with people from my upbringing, but yeah... how people understand anthropology and social psychology, I understand why someone likes german shepherds over golden retrievers. ?

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  Jul 09, 2012 4:47 AM GMT

  Keep this in mind: when we were younger, we emotionally bounce back quicker. As you get older, we tend to be a bit more invested, so just be self-aware, and don't take rejection/negative stuff too personally.

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  Jul 09, 2012 4:51 AM GMT

  Truthfully, GLBT and straight kids should get familiar with the joys of being dumped in highschool, where the risk is a term paper or final.
  
  I recently emerged from the closet in the middle of a career with deadlines to learn the experience of being dumped because I'm not a sadistic top (true story).
  
  It was a fuckin' party with my head in my hands sitting in my little cubicle farm.

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  Jul 09, 2012 4:54 AM GMT

  It's never too late for a first date. I didn't have a romantic date until I was 26. And it came complete with gay drama.
  
  I waited that long for my first boyfriend and thought I really hit the jackpot. Pursuing me, he was a gorgeous, dirty blonde, green-eyed former runway and print model, soap actor and Johns Hopkins graduate, about two years older, a real "prince." I lived in the low west 70's of Manhattan, he downtown. After a few months together I had the notion to invite him to a Sunday afternoon picnic lunch in Riverside Park in what I envisioned as the perfect romantic date that I've always seen in the movies and never experienced. I packed a basket and a blanket, he brought the wine, and we laid out, watched the boats sail by, held hands and talked, enjoyed the sunset over the Hudson and ended it on an uncharacteristically chaste note to preserve the mood. I offered to walk him the couple of blocks south to the 72nd Street subway but he declined, choosing to walk crosstown instead. I sensed something was up. A couple of hours later I got two frantic calls at home within minutes of each other. The first was my boyfriend, upset that he was punched by a drunk friend of mine after ignoring him at the gay bar he'd happened to stop in at on his way home. The second was that friend upset that he was punched for calling my boyfriend out on sticking his tongue in another guy's ear at the bar after our date. Ultimately not the stuff of romance, but comedy? Now I look back on the gay drama of my twenties and laugh!
  
  See what you're missing?

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• Orange00
  
  Posts: 2
  
  
  Jul 09, 2012 6:16 AM GMT

  smartmoney saidWhen you say date, what exactly does that mean?

  
  
  Thanks for everyone who's commented to my question.
  And to those who have written out details/stories. That's helpful to read.
  I know some are just joking, but there is a ring of truth to some of the jokes/bluntness.
  
  To answer the above quoted question;
  
  When I say 'date', I mean finding someone who can be more or less a companion. I don't mean just a sexual companion.
  The problem is, I have no skills when it comes to dating - because I've never tried it.
  
  I'm not a shy person, and I can start a conversation easily, but the problem is I realize there's a certain level of 'knowledge' needed to communicate with a potential date. I basically have to be hit over the head to know if a person is interested in me, and I have to be hit over the head to know they don't. That has to be a liability when it comes to dating.
  
  Just to those wondering how a person can end-up in this type of situation, I had to grow up fast and during my teens and early adulthood, I had to focus on many other issues, and didn't have the ability to focus on the basics of being a person that one learns during those years. - Now that I can, I'm lost.

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