ArtDecoAre you saying straights are disappointed when a gay doesn't do gay tricks and fails to entertain them in a gay manner?
exactly. the other day i got a bit late at a meeting with some old co-workers and when i arrived there they had already ordered me... a cosmo. i wanted to tear my hair out. i wanted a beer but because i'm gay, i would want to have that.
Right, and Blacks all eat watermelon, Jews mostly eat lox on a bagel, Italians all want to have spaghetti at every meal... (My apologies to RJ members in those groups, just making an equally ridiculous stereotypical comparison)
OK, so these stupid co-workers have stupid stereotypes. But if you asked for a beer instead, would they be disappointed? Would it make it harder for you to keep your friends over it? Because that was your point, and what I asked you to please clarify.
You have a great opportunity to dispel their stereotypes, by letting them see your natural self, and "acting against type" as the theatre term goes. I still can't imagine how that would weaken friendships, unless you're their token gay who keeps them amused. It would be your own fault if you have surrounded yourself with such superficial & clueless friends (co-workers not being your own choice), because I can assure you not all people are that way, and least of all in NYC.