I am a jerk and hate myself!

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    Jul 10, 2012 10:43 PM GMT
    well, there is this guy at work i think he liked me and secretly i liked him too. he is younger than me but very handsome and attractive and funny and very nice. he invited me to the movies (spiderman's new movie) but instead i told him how pale he is that he looks like a ghost! it was totally a random stupid thing from me and i am always nice to people but why did i do that?

    I apologized many times after that but he seemed kinda sad for how i acted, though he continued talking to me like there was nothing wrong.
    he is very handsome and sweet and i like him so much but,
    WHY DID I DO THAT?
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    Jul 10, 2012 10:59 PM GMT
    Fear of intimacy. You may have a deep seated fear of getting to close to someone so you were hateful to push him back.

    Or maybe a fear of rejection or adbandonment. What if you REALLY hit it off with this guy you like and he decides you are not for him. Your heart would have been broken. So you took the shortcut and just created drama to keep him at arms length.
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    Jul 11, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    IndyCub saidWHY DID I DO THAT?
    Because you're a jerk.
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    Jul 11, 2012 1:24 AM GMT

    Indy, go back and relive the moment. What were you feeling when you said it?
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    Jul 11, 2012 1:41 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    IndyCub saidWHY DID I DO THAT?
    Because you're a jerk.


    i am not a jerk because if i was a jerk i would NEVER feel bad about what i did!
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    Jul 11, 2012 1:46 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Indy, go back and relive the moment. What were you feeling when you said it?


    there is a gay guy at work and he was praising the guy who asked me out. everytime we used to eyeball and smile. God i really liked him. when he asked me out i was like trying to change the subject and that stupid purely ignorant line jumped on my mind. sometimes we do thing without realizing how bad they are but when we realize that it becomes too late to fix the situation. it happens to me a lot.

    i really feel so sad for what i did!
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    Jul 11, 2012 1:53 AM GMT
    beachwalk saidFear of intimacy. You may have a deep seated fear of getting to close to someone so you were hateful to push him back.

    Or maybe a fear of rejection or adbandonment. What if you REALLY hit it off with this guy you like and he decides you are not for him. Your heart would have been broken. So you took the shortcut and just created drama to keep him at arms length.


    well i didn't go on date in months(the same thing about sex). I used to take care of myself and try to look good to attract guys, now i do that just to please myself and i don't care about other guys.

    same thing happened to me when a guy asked me out and i answered him sarcastically that i don't date republicans. This guy is nice and comes from a very religious family and i always felt like he is in a struggle because of the contradiction that he lives in (his beliefs are against his orientation) and instead of helping him i just made a silly excuse and ran away.

    if i keep doing this i will end up alone, i know. I used to fear loneliness but now i don't even care if i had a partner or not, if it happens it happens. and again there is this turkish closeted case who is chasing after me and he is very confused about his life(although he is in his mid-thirties)!
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    Jul 11, 2012 2:26 AM GMT
    IndyCub said
    meninlove said
    Indy, go back and relive the moment. What were you feeling when you said it?


    there is a gay guy at work and he was praising the guy who asked me out. everytime we used to eyeball and smile. God i really liked him. when he asked me out i was like trying to change the subject and that stupid purely ignorant line jumped on my mind. sometimes we do thing without realizing how bad they are but when we realize that it becomes too late to fix the situation. it happens to me a lot.

    i really feel so sad for what i did!


    Well, I know all that from your opening post. I meant relive the moment in your head, then post how you felt when you said it. icon_wink.gif

    Something you felt made you say what you did. Discover what that was and you'll get some answers that none of us can provide. Was it a surge of cleverness, or a sensation of mirth? Was it a moment of panic? A moment of insecurity? These are just suggestions. I'd rather you do the self exploration, to get that Eureka! moment.

    -Doug

    PS You could use a hug, so *HUG*.