20 years old today and the gay community seems bleak

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2012 9:18 AM GMT
    I dunno, I'm bi-sexual and I can choose in between boys and girls. I'm thinking about going back to chicks since the gay community isn't very friendly and at times it's quite hostile. Ironic considering the gay community is suppose to be all about acceptance and love.
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    Jul 12, 2012 9:21 AM GMT
    Okay.Bye!
  • RollDontWalk

    Posts: 187

    Jul 12, 2012 9:22 AM GMT
    Before I came out I thought the gay community would be more... 'welcoming'. To find out the reality was a bit disappointing, but makes sense when you figure that every gay guy grows up feeling different (often inferior) from an early age and that messes with confidence, self image etc.

    It's a process that we're all on our way on. I still have way better straight friends than gay friends. My own problem seems to be that I'm not "gay enough" for other gays icon_confused.gif

    Just remember with the bitchy/mean ones that the problem lies with them and their insecurity.
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    Jul 12, 2012 9:23 AM GMT
    Do you tell gay guys you're bi upfront? Maybe that puts them off. That may have something to do with your sentiments.
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    Jul 12, 2012 10:46 AM GMT
    Gym_bull saidI dunno, I'm bi-sexual and I can choose in between boys and girls. I'm thinking about going back to chicks since the gay community isn't very friendly and at times it's quite hostile. Ironic considering the gay community is suppose to be all about acceptance and love.



    Is this a way to make us believe we need to convince you to go for guys?
    If that is the way you are I can imagine why people are hostile to you
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    Jul 12, 2012 10:54 AM GMT
    tsk tsk tsk,could it be the gay men didnt recognise ur hotness to hit on u and treat u a glass of free cocktail,or they didnt give u free lap dance to hump ur junk,i dont know,u should try LGBT centre cupcakes class specially made for gay man,or bi and watever,u will have better chance to find hook up partner or husband materials over there.icon_lol.gif
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Jul 12, 2012 11:05 AM GMT
    You're right, and that's why I'm not really part of the community. I don't go to bars, Pride, social events, etc. I don't actively seek out other gays even for social reasons. I have my boyfriend, and he and I are quite happy knowing as few gays as we do, with how most are.

    You have options though, so your call.
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    Jul 12, 2012 11:17 AM GMT
    Why do people keep saying the gay community is supposed to be all about acceptance and love? Where did this meme come from?

    The gay community is exactly like every other community... there are positive folks and negative folks. Some gay people will be the friendliest people you ever meet, and others will be straight-up bitches.

    It's up to YOU to accept and love yourself.
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    Jul 12, 2012 11:34 AM GMT
    See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.
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    Jul 12, 2012 11:37 AM GMT
    You poor poor thing. I'm going to be 40 in August. Wanna trade? icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 12, 2012 11:45 AM GMT
    endo saidWhy do people keep saying the gay community is supposed to be all about acceptance and love? Where did this meme come from?

    The gay community is exactly like every other community... there are positive folks and negative folks. Some gay people will be the friendliest people you ever meet, and others will be straight-up bitches.

    It's up to YOU to accept and love yourself.


    +1

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    Jul 12, 2012 11:50 AM GMT
    So youre hoping to find a friendly and loving community with girls as a straight guy? Uhh, okay. I wish you luck in your endeavors.
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    Jul 12, 2012 11:57 AM GMT
    endo saidWhy do people keep saying the gay community is supposed to be all about acceptance and love? Where did this meme come from?

    The gay community is exactly like every other community... there are positive folks and negative folks. Some gay people will be the friendliest people you ever meet, and others will be straight-up bitches.

    It's up to YOU to accept and love yourself.


    thats very true
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jul 12, 2012 12:02 PM GMT
    endo saidWhy do people keep saying the gay community is supposed to be all about acceptance and love? Where did this meme come from?

    The gay community is exactly like every other community... there are positive folks and negative folks. Some gay people will be the friendliest people you ever meet, and others will be straight-up bitches.

    It's up to YOU to accept and love yourself.


    This. 100%. Since when has every girl you've ever met been oh so very nice and wanted to be your best friend? Not every (gay, or not) guy you meet is going to like you or be nice to you.

    Find your niche, find people who appreciate you for who you are, and leave the rest alone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2012 12:05 PM GMT
    yeah have fun telling a girl you like that you're bisexual and expecting her not to be way more weirded out than any gay guy you've ever met
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    Jul 12, 2012 12:09 PM GMT
    funny pictures - ...kthxbai...
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    Jul 12, 2012 12:14 PM GMT
    Being gay is not about liking the community or fellow gay people, it's about liking a male individual, it doesn't make sense to "go back to chicks".
  • gymguy81

    Posts: 455

    Jul 12, 2012 12:17 PM GMT
    well goign gay guys especily in there earlky 20's may as well be chicks . but ironicly need to have thier head ripped out of there backsides.
  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Jul 12, 2012 12:18 PM GMT
    Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Or, In. hehehe.
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    Jul 12, 2012 12:20 PM GMT
    Gays can be competitive, evil cunts - that's a true fact. Still, that won't ever stop you from fucking boys, so find some good friends you can rely on and get on with it. I do understand where you're coming from and it is ironic as you said, but feeling sorry for yourself is going to do zero good.
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    Jul 12, 2012 12:26 PM GMT
    I think the problem is the idea of what constitutes a "community". If you mean an agglomeration of gay people, then gay people are no better or worse than straights. You will find straight people you like and others you don't... humanity crosses every border imaginable from income to profession to race to religion to education. Gay people are no less diverse!

    If you mean a mutually supportive enterprise for the empowerment of gay people... then you won't find that everywhere because there needs to be a critical mass. And you may be looking in the wrong places: the best people are found through doing things that you like to do [in my case, sports].

    Try going to Toronto.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 12, 2012 12:42 PM GMT
    JackBlair69 saidIt's the politics. White Liberals dominate the "gay community."

    Anyway, I suggest the rejection of the whole idea of a "community." It is pretty much meaningless.

    Example: President Obama is a "community organizer." What the fuck does that mean?

    Answer: Nothing substantial or important.

    Be a community of ONE!


    Pretty ridiculous comment, linking democratic politics to what Gymbull
    originally said.... I don't think thats what he meant. I think he meant the overall
    behavior of gay men and the "gay community" in certain cases.... I don't think
    Obama has anything to do with it.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jul 12, 2012 12:54 PM GMT
    Maybe it is because you are in Newmarket. Aren't there terrifying small-town gays there? I am originally from Winnipeg, and there is certainly a subset of trashy guys that I really didn't click with. Toronto is an awesome place to meet great, great gay guys, though! I love it here!icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 12, 2012 1:47 PM GMT
    When a whole bunch of people have the same reaction to you, it's usually you, not some mysterious quality the people have in common.

    In particular, people frequently attribute to strangers the emotions they feel themselves. That would mean that the one who is hostile is probably you. The response you'd get for your hostility is some of the same you would be projecting.

    Of course, I am saying this mostly because I have heard many young gay men speak like you. "I have nothing in common with gay culture" tends to mean, "I am not as gay as they are." "I am bisexual" tends to mean, "I am not comfortable being gay." "I should go back to chicks," finally means, "I know I can't make it work without men."

    Conversely, there is a shock therapy that I've seen work almost invariably: befriend a drag queen, or a truly effeminate man. I mean, strike up a real friendship and hang out together. You'll lose your hostility, other gay men will be impressed that you got over your insecurity, and you may make a really good friend.
  • swall1963

    Posts: 161

    Jul 12, 2012 2:07 PM GMT
    For years I have wanted someone to define the "gay community" to me.

    In my mind I live in a community that is made up of various subcultures, groups and individuals. My community is made up of male & female, all sexualities and all races. It is a community made up of all ages. It is made up of people with disabilities and people without disabilities. And, within each of these there are further divisions. I may fit in with some of these subcultures, groups and individuals and I also know that I will not be accepted by all of these various parts of my community. And, I am fine with that.

    Find out your larger community and see where you are "accepted" or "fit in" comfortably. You'll be a lot happier.