Any other guys with a j-pouch or know someone who has one?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2012 6:20 PM GMT
    When I was 16 (almost 22 now), I had surgery to cure my Ulcerative Colitis. I had a temporary ileostomy for 3 months, and then had it reversed. I now have what is called a "j-pouch", which is basically a new colon constructed out of my small intestine, since the majority of my large intestine has been removed. I'm a virgin still, but I've recently learned that this surgery I had basically makes it impossible for me to ever bottom. I feel pretty limited sexually now, and very insecure. I'm worried that I'll be rejected, and I've always imagined myself as a bottom rather than a top. It's embarrassing to talk about, but I guess I'd like to hear from anyone else who has gone through the same thing, or knows someone who has.
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    Jul 15, 2012 7:57 PM GMT
    I'm not sure that the information you got is correct. I fail to see why a full healed j-pouch can't be receptive. Did you ask your surgeon directly? [yeah, pretty hard to do]. What about one of the national support groups -- www.ccfa.org/ for example. Perhaps talking to a gay surgeon will help you sort it out -- see www.glma.org/ for its referral services.

    My ex had his entire colon removed for familial polyposis; he was left with the rectum, so the situation isn't equivalent to yours. I've got 3 cousins with Crohn disease, but none of them is gay. But our families are comfortable talking about stuff like this as a result.icon_wink.gif

    And whatever else happens, become the best cocksucker the world has ever known -- guys will always appreciate you for that. Be well!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2012 8:05 PM GMT
    A friend of mine has Crohn's and underwent the same surgery as you. He's in his 50s now and a good 30 years post-op, his sex life is still going strong (he tells me ALL about it... :rollicon_smile.gif.

    The key to his success: he went from doctor to doctor until he found one comfortable talking about sex. When he heard what things he could and couldn't do, he was relieved - everything he wanted to do was on the COULD list .
  • John6311

    Posts: 165

    Jul 15, 2012 8:06 PM GMT
    I think you're destined to be a top!
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    Jul 15, 2012 8:08 PM GMT
    Go see a gay or gay-friendly proctologist or urologist and ask. I don't think it should have an impact on bottoming from my knowledge...did they remove your rectum? Most guys' dicks don't even get past that. You really only need about 2" of actual penetration to hit your prostate anyways.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2012 8:39 PM GMT
    Hey, I agree that you definitely should ask a Gay-friendly surgeon or gastroenterologist. Surgeons who perform transgender surgery are usually a good open minded group to ask. The following places are resources that can connect you with knowledgeable physicians:

    Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC), NYC
    Whitmann-Walker Clinic, Elizabeth Taylor Center, Washington, DC
    Howard Brown Health Center, Chicago, IL (Peter Pointers Blog)
    University of California, San Francisco (UCSF), Division of Colorectal Surgery
    Gay and Lesbian Center, LA (Dr. Maddie Deutsch)
    The Oasis Clinic, King Drew Medical Center, LA (Dr. Vernon Jordan)
    TheBody.com

    I'll ask some of my colleagues here in Chicago for you...

    Hope this helps! Keep your head up! :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2012 8:49 PM GMT
    Lots of tops have small penises.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jul 15, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    Penetrative sex isn't the be-all-end-all of gay sex. There are plenty of guys who don't engage in it, and plenty who won't mind that you can't bottom. That said, it sounds like with the procedure you're so worried about, that receptive anal sex still won't be a problem. So do your research, find a good doctor, and get well!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2012 11:28 PM GMT
    Bunjamon saidPenetrative sex isn't the be-all-end-all of gay sex. There are plenty of guys who don't engage in it, and plenty who won't mind that you can't bottom. That said, it sounds like with the procedure you're so worried about, that receptive anal sex still won't be a problem. So do your research, find a good doctor, and get well!


    I agree. There is so much more to gay sex than anal penetration. Being with that great guy that you are into and is into you is what makes the act so great.

    I do think you need medical advise by a gay friendly doctor. You need a gay friendly doctor for your primary care as well. It makes the whole healthcare issue easier.

    My doctor is straight, but he knows I am gay and we have had some very good discussions. Especially when my partner had prostate cancer.

  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Jul 16, 2012 12:53 AM GMT
    I dated a guy once who had a total colectomy for ulcerative colitis. He'd had so many previous bowel resections that the scaring would allow for creation of a j-pouch; plus, he'd had his rectum removed and was sewn shut down there. I'm a top, but know what? I totally didn't care. He was a great guy and the sex was good. Like Bunjamon said, penetrative sex isn't what it's all about. Sex is about intimacy, not getting off.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jul 16, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    You can be a bottom. Call me.