Dreams don't mean anything, but since I had a religious upbringing and am gay?

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    Jul 15, 2012 8:19 PM GMT
    I dreamt that I was in my old home church during a sermon from my pastor. I was dressed in regular clothes and for some reason, there was pain in my stomach. I got up and my stomach was being crushed by some invisible force and it was excruciatingly painful.

    Everyone around me saw this happening and just looked at me and did nothing. The pain was meant to show that the person I am was wrong. That's how everyone in the congregation interpreted it. But I knew deep down the pain that was wrong, not who I was.

    I have never been more terrified in my life, the pain felt like I could barely breathe. Then I felt something explode and it changed to a scene of a very attractive man and an older man near a body of water between two ruined buildings. It seemed like they were in some destroyed city and water had welled up to a certain part.

    They were having a discussion about fishing and then my name was uttered. The attractive younger man said "Chris loves it here." Or maybe he didn't say it, but he felt it and I sort of felt it too? Idk

    Then I realized that I was actually submerged underwater, feeling peaceful and full of wonder. And felt more alive and tranquil than ever before.

    But then I woke up.

    *This probably doesn't mean anything, but it certainly scared me and at the same time made me feel very calm.*

  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Jul 16, 2012 2:41 AM GMT
    Religion was invented to control the masses - there are some good aspects of religious teachings, but for the most part they were designed to "keep people in place". Use your head and know that being true to yourself is never wrong.
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    Jul 16, 2012 3:45 AM GMT
    It does mean something icon_smile.gif Dreams are doors ways to enlightenment of knowing ourselves better and seeing things in our lives that we fear, cherish, and love. They are also random thought processes of our minds which is why some dreams are meaningless. However this dream you describe is not meaningless. I will interpret it for you:

    "Giving a serman" :In regular clothes means you wanted acceptance for being yourself. At the same time you are trying to educate those in your life about who you are and for them to understand and accept you.. You are in a position of expression suppression. Expressing yourself is something you're desiring to do.

    "Pain in my stomach":
    This pain is symbolic just as you mention. It is the feeling of being rejected, disowned, unloved and persecuted for trying to express yourself to those who do not embrace your sexuality. It is also coupled with religious views of being punished for being homosexual. Its symbolic of dieing. The pain is also a manesfestation of the hardships you face in real life. It is the pressure of your sexuality wanting to completely break free and express itself without suppression.

    "Everyone around me saw this happening and just looked at me and did nothing" : These people represent those in your life who refuse to accept who you are, judging and observing as you go through this process alone.

    "Then I felt something explode": This is the suppression pain exploding and breaking forth to allow you to express yourself. The after effect, an attractive man and an older man are both representations of you. The water symbolizes rebirth. A new beginning. The attracive man represents your youth and beauty. The old man represents how tired you are from the long trials of a life suppressed. The fish is also you because fish love water and you are comfortable staying submerged. This is evident when the attractive one said "Chris loves it here". The ruined building and destroyed city are symbols of how you view those in your life will be affected when the pain explodes and you ultimately break free, allowing yourself to express yourself.

    "Then I realized that I was actually submerged underwater, feeling peaceful and full of wonder":
    This means you have not emerged yet in real life, or you have not been totally out with your sexuality to others. You have not allowed the rebirth to actually occur because you're finding comfort in the idea of being completely underwater(submerged), not allowing a rebirth to commence. Rising from the water would be the actual birth, or coming out to all those who reject it.

    Why this is scary to you?

    Because your subconscious is telling you that you are comfotable with being consealed and a part of you panics from that idea. You felt alive and tranquil being submerged under water. The attractive younger man(you) said "Chris loves it here." with the older man(you) while they are fishing(fish=you).

    "Feeling peaceful and full of wonder" : You are comfortable with your sexuality and wonder how the world above water will embrace you. You are hopeful in this state.

    "it certainly scared me and at the same time made me feel very calm":
    You were scared because the dream is showing you the truth about how you feel about being suppressed while wanting to expresss. You are stuck submerged. The birth occurs, but then it doesn't. Your mind is playing out what it could be like to rise from the water, but then reality sets in and you are not rised.
    You are calm because the dream showed you how fulfilling it would feel to completely break down those walls and explode, allowing yourself to fully express yourself and show your sexuality to all those who would reject it in your life.

    Well thats my interpretation... anyway..Hope I was helpful.





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    Jul 16, 2012 4:04 AM GMT
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    Jul 16, 2012 8:00 PM GMT
    I read the tummyache being something you were straining to hold in from the congregation for so long that it had to burst. Something everyone in that congregation recognizes already, but know they cannot assist you with.

    As for the Atlantis scene, I don't think you were drowning in the water, but just viewing a third-person vision of people conversing about you in a serene setting, the comfort that followed the "burst" from the church, the serenity after the scorched earth brings life back into equilibrium for you and many others.