giving a gift on a first date?

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    Jul 16, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    I know this topic has come up before but I want some fresh opinions.

    I met this guy on OkCupid and we have been really hitting it off over texts and phone conversations. We're meeting in person for lunch tomorrow and I'm thinking about giving him some sort of little gift. Interestingly, on all the past first (and often last icon_confused.gif) dates I've been on with other guys I haven't felt the desire to bring a gift, but with this guy I do. It's a different feeling somehow.

    I'm already planning on paying for his meal. The restaurant isn't mad expensive but it's not cheap either. Would bringing a little gift be overkill?

    Thanks for any and all advice!
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    Jul 16, 2012 1:12 AM GMT

    Your gift is your company. icon_wink.gif Your attentive ear, your warm grin, your sense of humour.

    Don't insist on paying or decide it's a given. He may feel more comfortable going dutch.

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    Jul 16, 2012 1:13 AM GMT
    Save it for the third date. First date you pay, second date he pays, third, you thank him for the second date with at gift.

    Later you get blown behind the dumpster in the alley next to the restaurant.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jul 16, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    daas is a genius
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 16, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    Dude....The gift thing is a bad idea...Makes guys think your gettin too serious...too soon...From personal experience X the idea...
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:35 AM GMT
    me11 saidI know this topic has come up before but I want some fresh opinions.

    I met this guy on OkCupid and we have been really hitting it off over texts and phone conversations. We're meeting in person for lunch tomorrow and I'm thinking about giving him some sort of little gift. Interestingly, on all the past first (and often last icon_confused.gif) dates I've been on with other guys I haven't felt the desire to bring a gift, but with this guy I do. It's a different feeling somehow.

    I'm already planning on paying for his meal. The restaurant isn't mad expensive but it's not cheap either. Would bringing a little gift be overkill?

    Thanks for any and all advice!


    That's what blow jobs are for icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:36 AM GMT
    Red flags in your post.

    Above everything, and this is especially critical in the early stages, you want there to be balance. Both of you putting in equally in all aspects (interest, attention, and yes monetary things). When the check comes what you want (and hope happens) is that he put up half the money out of his own will to pay for it. And you should let him. If the check comes and he sits there with his arms crossed expecting for you to pay the whole thing, then you can pay. And dump him immediately.
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:36 AM GMT
    Dont do it! unless you want to keep him as a friend icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:42 AM GMT
    Ooh i would love for a guy to give me a gift on the first date. But it better be something worth it , cuz if there's no Rolex inside that box then you increased your creepy status.
  • PBLH

    Posts: 196

    Jul 16, 2012 5:49 AM GMT
    If you feel you'd like to give him a gift, I say go for it... I'm sure it's something significant to one of the conversations you guys have had...
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:56 AM GMT
    I changed my mind, do it and tell us how it goes icon_biggrin.gif good luck
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:58 AM GMT
    daviddoublebay saidGuys love getting flowers.

    Doesn't matter if he's the weightlifting champion of the world... they'd still make him giggle, blush and smile like a kid in love.


    I'll second this. A single rose is the only thing I'd consider giving on a first date and only at his door if I were picking him up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:20 AM GMT
    overkill don't! it's desperate and he will think you will smother him. at least that is what my first thoughts would be.
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:27 AM GMT
    I am OLD and experienced.

    TRUST Me on this.

    Flowers are ALWAYS cool - but....Guy-to-Guy... ya gotta know how to carry it off without seeming like a dork (on the FIRST date). Or being a MAJOR Dork - which can be a HUGE turn-on.

    Buying dinner is always a good gesture if you are so inclined.

    If you can afford it, go for the Chateaneuf du Pape. It will be impressive and add to stories for a life-time.

    When I was unsure of what I wanted for dessert - My second husband bought the entire dessert cart on our first date. Stupid and ridiculous...and YES I tasted EVERY one.

    THAT was cool

    BUT buying jewelry or designer jackets for a first date....well ...NO.

    THAT is the territory of low-level gangsters and diner waitresses with crooked teeth and big hair.


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    Jul 16, 2012 6:28 AM GMT
    A gift on the first date would creep me out. I wouldn't go there if I were you because your date might think like me and avoid a second date. Why take the chance?
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:37 AM GMT
    I would feel very weird if someone bought me a gift on the first date. It would feel like they were coming on too strong. I don't think I'd like getting flowers either. That's just my personal opinion.
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:43 AM GMT
    Cash said

    When I was unsure of what I wanted for dessert - My second husband bought the entire dessert cart on our first date. Stupid and ridiculous...and YES I tasted EVERY one.

    THAT was cool

    BUT buying jewelry or designer jackets for a first date....well ...NO.

    THAT is the territory of low-level gangsters and diner waitresses with crooked teeth and big hair.




    I can't..I don't..even know where to start here..

    so what you're basically saying...is you just tasted the desserts but didn't finish them...and they just WENT to waste...
    that multi-tiered tourmaline and canary diamond choker I've been eyeing at Van Cleef is apparently NOT gonna happen at our first Denny's date..
    ..and you're NOT a diner waitress with big hair??? should I just google search where you stole all those pictures right now then??

    you couldn't at least finish ONE of those desserts???
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:44 AM GMT
    Snoop_Dawg_Cranky said
    Cash saidBUT buying jewelry or designer jackets for a first date....well ...NO.

    THAT is the territory of low-level gangsters and diner waitresses with crooked teeth and big hair.

    But it was no expense, really! They fell off a truck!


    That is EXACTLY what You said to Me when you gave Me that hot pink sheared mink bolero jacket with tire prints on it. And blood. On the price tag.

    I shoulda KNOWN to walk outta that bowling alley.

    But then you bought Me a beer and a paid for a game of Pinball and...well...who could resist???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:45 AM GMT
    Uh. No. No gift.

    Seriously? You know better, that's why you're asking for permission to do it. Recognize a bad impulse and set it aside.

    However I do think that RoadsterRacer knows how to treat a guy right.
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:46 AM GMT
    No gift needed. I wouldn't want you to bring anything if it were you and me. First, it is a bit of an overkill. Second, I'd have no gift for you and it would be a bit awkward........not awful, just a bit awkward. As far as grabbing the check - - - you could, but I would rather the first date be dutch. It is just better that way.

    As far as the place - - - nothing too dressy (coat and tie) and instead, a more casual place - but not a loud nationally advertised chain. Choose someplace nice with a quiet area. Go ahead of time if possible, (like the day before) and select your table & reserve it. You don't want to be by the kitchen door, or on a noisy isle. Table selection takes only a minute, and can make a whole lot of difference to how your first time goes.

    Have fun - relax, dress well (clean, casual) but not like you tried too hard........nothing that smacks of the "brand new" look.
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:48 AM GMT
    I wouldn't do it though giving a gift on a first date but that's just me, You're you.

    I feel like first dates can be nerve wracking sometimes like a job interview, questions after questions! It's a way to test the water and the guy. I mean, you don't know what he's like yet right? Can you judge it from a profile online?

    From what I sense in your post already, you will probably give him the gift. You probably will win more points with him if he already like you from the okcupid profile, worst thing can happen is he doesn't want to do the second date which I don't hope for you.

    Or the third option is hang out with him til the end of the date, see how it goes and you're so giddy, give it to him then or save it for the next 2nd or 3rd date if it goes there. icon_cool.gif



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    Jul 16, 2012 6:50 AM GMT
    As if it hasn't been stated enough already, DON'T give a gift on the first date. Flowers are good, as well as paying for dinner. But any guy who gave me an actual gift upon meeting face to face for the first time would leave a very bad first impression, regardless of his intentions or lack thereof.
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    Jul 16, 2012 6:53 AM GMT
    I know I've told this story a billion times before, but I had a guy give me a packet of raw bacon (with an ice pack in the gift bag to keep it fresh!) on our first date.

    IT FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY.

    There was also a watercolor set inside which I was like aw cute but not NEARLY as mind blowing as a packet of raw bacon..WITH AN ICE PACK TO KEEP IT FRESH.
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    Jul 16, 2012 7:27 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI know I've told this story a billion times before, but I had a guy give me a packet of raw bacon (with an ice pack in the gift bag to keep it fresh!) on our first date.

    IT FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY.

    There was also a watercolor set inside which I was like aw cute but not NEARLY as mind blowing as a packet of raw bacon..WITH AN ICE PACK TO KEEP IT FRESH.


    And you aren't married yet? I'd be picking out china the next day.
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    Jul 16, 2012 7:37 AM GMT
    principal0 said
    Ariodante saidI know I've told this story a billion times before, but I had a guy give me a packet of raw bacon (with an ice pack in the gift bag to keep it fresh!) on our first date.

    IT FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY.

    There was also a watercolor set inside which I was like aw cute but not NEARLY as mind blowing as a packet of raw bacon..WITH AN ICE PACK TO KEEP IT FRESH.


    And you aren't married yet? I'd be picking out china the next day.


    He sent me an email the following day that he appreciated meeting me but felt we weren't a good match and shouldn't go out again. I appreciated his forthright honesty. No one's ever been that honest with me. Overall a stand up guy!