Topping for the first time

  • fit19

    Posts: 15

    Jul 16, 2012 8:43 AM GMT
    Hey all, hope you are having a great night.

    If you could give me some advice on my situation, I'd really appreciate it.

    I'm 20 years old, and just got my very first boyfriend about a month ago (He's 25). We've had sex 3 times now, and each time I've bottomed. It's been great sex, great chemistry, nothing bad at all. This is my first time having actual "sex" with a guy (I've done bj, hj, etc before with others). So far he's been fine, and he said he's enjoyed it and that it's been great sex too.

    However, I'm curious and want to try topping/doing vers, and my boyfriend has agreed the next time we can try it that way.

    I really want to top, I'm just nervous/scared since I've never done it before. But I want to do it right, because I'm hoping if all goes well we could flip/flop sometimes between who is top and bottom.

    Anyways, any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated. I just really don't want to screw this up. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who's pretty understanding about my situation, and he's willing to help me along the way which is great..but any advice would really help haha.
  • james_neilson

    Posts: 7

    Jul 16, 2012 9:20 AM GMT
    you know what you like, right?
    chances are he will like the same thing
    best thing is to be open about it after and learn from it. nobody does it perfect their first time.
    don't worry about it dude, you got it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 1:07 PM GMT
    The basics of topping are pretty easy to get to grips with - make sure you're fully hard, put a condom on, lube up, push it in, thrust - fairly simple.

    However there's more to it than that - you need to make sure you've prepared your bottom properly (I guess if you've bottomed yourself you know that generally speaking it's not a good idea to ram a dick straight up there with no warm up) and there are obviously a number of different techniques and positions you can try.

    You need to be in tune with your partner and see what they like as much as find out what works for you. I'd recommend starting with a 'doggy style' position as a beginner because it's probably the easiest for you as a top as it's easy access, and gives good penetration. Remember to vary the speed and depth of your thrusts - don't just jackhammer away from start to finish. Hold onto his hips/ass, reach around and play with his nipples and cock, rub his balls - basically make sure you stimulate ALL of him not just plow his hole.

    After that you may want to try some other positions, again a lot of this is dictated by your partner as there can be some that the bottom prefers/dislikes so talk to him about it, I'm assuming he's bottomed before? Missionary position can be good for intimacy as it's easy to kiss while you're inside him, easy to access his cock and nipples to further stimulate etc, and you can sling his legs over your shoulders to really plow him deep if you want to.

    You can also try him on top, riding you - again easy access to his cock, for jerking/sucking.

    Try those three to begin with, they are probably the basics I would say, and once you're more experienced you can mix it up with other things. Think about what your cock can do and vary angles, depths and speeds for different sensations. You can pulse your cock inside him which is usually well-received. You can pull almost all the way out and tease him with just the tip of your cock until he's going crazy wanting you back inside and then slowly or quickly slide all the way back in up to your balls. You can pull your cock out completely and use it to stimulate the area around his asshole. Just experiment and have fun - I'm sure he doesn't expect you to be a master of something you've never done before!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 1:18 PM GMT
    all good practical advice

    i'm going to re-focus and say that "actual sex" is whatever you define it to be.

    don't let other people define what your intimacy needs are and how they are met

    penetration is nice, and pleasant, but it's the connection between the 2 of you that is the real story that you will learn from. so don't focus on a specific act, even if you've prepared for it...just focus on how nice it is to have his full attention and bring each other pleasure....

    so if you discover that "actual sex" means eating ice cream off each others feet, then who is anyone else to define for you what your life experience is

  • arcimboldo

    Posts: 51

    Jul 19, 2012 6:37 PM GMT
    well, it starts in your need to feel assertive, dominant. some positions are not good to keep an erection (for me, when there's too much strain on the hips). Being a top is 10 times easier than being a bottom, so no need to worry. If you have no erection issues, you just need to keep yourself aroused by licking, kissing..etc. And take it easy with him at the beginning. Let him know if you feel you re coming so he'll come too.