Gay drama...sorry just need to vent...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    So, I just got in a huge argument with my ex a few minutes ago. I don't normally go too deep into my personal life on here, but I'm really on my wits end with this guy.


    Our relationship ended in January after 6 longs years. He had a history of violence before and I knew this, but I guess like an idiot, I thought he would be different with me. Not too get too much into detail, but I did have to call the police on him a few times. The last incident occurred in October. After the cops were called, I decided not to press charges on him because I felt it would ruin his military career. Soon after that he broke up with me, and that was that, or at least I thought.

    Today, we still share the same cell phone plan and I pay him out of pocket for my half of the bill. Well, now he decides that he wants to split the cell phone plan permanently. Which is more than fine with me because the less I have to deal with him the better. I offer him PLENTY of days (like 5 days to choose from) to go meet up in person so we can settle this but he says he is too busy on the days I selected. Mind you, he said he WAS free on some days, but wanted to spend them with his new boyfriend. The only day he is free is a day I am not. I tell him that I'm working but he is unconcerned. He then goes on to tell me if I don't meet on the day he has selected, he will report the phone stolen and will not allow me to see our dogs any longer. This INFURIATES me. I tell him it is fucked up that he would call the cops on me and then not let me visit my precious pooches.

    I remind him that I could have him thrown in jail last October but because I decided to give him a break he should owe me. He seems to have short term memory. His exact words was "No one will believe you. There were only two of us there so it's just your word against mine". It really pisses me off that he KNOWS that he should be in jail at least for a little while, but because of me his ass is safe. And this is not the first time he has put his hands on someone. A few months after we broke up he pinned a friend down on the ground for calling him an asshole. I'm not sure if he was called an asshole in fun or as an insult, but whatever it was it proves he is a violent person.

    I can't believe 9 months after we broke up we are fighting like cats and dogs. All I want him is out of my life. I'm soooo much happier without him but it kills me to know that he is still the violent, unstable person he was when we were together.Ugh....


    So just wanted to get that off my chest. I'm not really looking for advice or words of encouragement. Just needed to vent...icon_neutral.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 16, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    That sucks!!! So glad you got out that relationship! You are way too awesome for that Dickhead.

    Btw, aren't you moving? Just asking cause surely the distance will help.
    (:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidThat sucks!!! So glad you got out that relationship! You are way too awesome for that Dickhead.

    Btw, aren't you moving? Just asking cause surely the distance will help.
    (:


    Yeah, to the Miami area in August....
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 16, 2012 4:28 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    HottJoe saidThat sucks!!! So glad you got out that relationship! You are way too awesome for that Dickhead.

    Btw, aren't you moving? Just asking cause surely the distance will help.
    (:


    Yeah, to the Miami area in August....


    Sweet... Now if only we can come up with a plan for you to get your dogs back....

    maybe a dognapping?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 4:33 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidSo, I just got in a huge argument with my ex a few minutes ago. I don't normally go too deep into my personal life on here, but I'm really on my wits end with this guy.


    Our relationship ended in January after 6 longs years. He had a history of violence before and I knew this, but I guess like an idiot, I thought he would be different with me. Not too get too much into detail, but I did have to call the police on him a few times. The last incident occurred in October. After the cops were called, I decided not to press charges on him because I felt it would ruin his military career. Soon after that he broke up with me, and that was that, or at least I thought.

    Today, we still share the same cell phone plan and I pay him out of pocket for my half of the bill. Well, now he decides that he wants to split the cell phone plan permanently. Which is more than fine with me because the less I have to deal with him the better. I offer him PLENTY of days (like 5 days to choose from) to go meet up in person so we can settle this but he says he is too busy on the days I selected. Mind you, he said he WAS free on some days, but wanted to spend them with his new boyfriend. The only day he is free is a day I am not. I tell him that I'm working but he is unconcerned. He then goes on to tell me if I don't meet on the day he has selected, he will report the phone stolen and will not allow me to see our dogs any longer. This INFURIATES me. I tell him it is fucked up that he would call the cops on me and then not let me visit my precious pooches.

    I remind him that I could have him thrown in jail last October but because I decided to give him a break he should owe me. He seems to have short term memory. His exact words was "No one will believe you. There were only two of us there so it's just your word against mine". It really pisses me off that he KNOWS that he should be in jail at least for a little while, but because of me his ass is safe. And this is not the first time he has put his hands on someone. A few months after we broke up he pinned a friend down on the ground for calling him an asshole. I'm not sure if he was called an asshole in fun or as an insult, but whatever it was it proves he is a violent person.

    I can't believe 9 months after we broke up we are fighting like cats and dogs. All I want him is out of my life. I'm soooo much happier without him but it kills me to know that he is still the violent, unstable person he was when we were together.Ugh....


    So just wanted to get that off my chest. I'm not really looking for advice or words of encouragement. Just needed to vent...icon_neutral.gif


    He sounds like a complete nutcase....I'd take a bat to his car in the middle of the night and just be like:

    tumblr_lmfuucAjTw1qzd45c.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 4:34 PM GMT
    Can you possibly arrange to sleep with his new BF? Wait, bad plan. Fire seems to make things better, except I learned that you can't burn an entire buick.. naw, too much chance of getting caught. How about getting a bunch of guys together and beating the crap out of him? No, that would make you as bad as he is.. hmmmmm.

    Ditch the phone, steal the dogs and get the hell out of Dodge.

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    Jul 16, 2012 4:34 PM GMT
    Wow! Just wow.

    I have to admit I had been curious for a while about your single status because you were in a relationship when we first started talking. I noticed your relationship status changed some time ago, and I'd been tempted to ask you about it. However, I figured it wasn't any of my business, especially with a fresh wound at the time. At least this satisfies my curiosity. But I had no idea there was so much behind the breakup and over the fact that he was a violent guy icon_cry.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jul 16, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    LOL, this little tiff between u and ur ex is so insignificant and petty.... it's hilarious to me
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    Jul 16, 2012 4:39 PM GMT
    As much as I would like to kidnap the dogs and take a bat to his car, it is not my style. Never has been. And it would only add to more drama and unneeded road blocks for me continuing on with my life. Though I regret not pressing charges on him when I could. icon_neutral.gif



    Right now the public opinion on him (in the DC scene) is that he is cray cray, and I would like to keep it that way.
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    Jul 16, 2012 4:41 PM GMT
    Oh you lol


    Import saidLOL, this little tiff between u and ur ex is so insignificant and petty.... it's hilarious to me
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jul 16, 2012 4:41 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidAs much as I would like to kidnap the dogs and take a bat to his car, it is not my style. Never has been. And it would only add to more drama and unneeded road blocks for me continuing on with my life. Though I regret not pressing charges on him when I could. icon_neutral.gif



    Right now the public opinion on him (in the DC scene) is that he is cray cray, and I would like to keep it that way.

    bro, why do u even care? you're broken up, like get over it.


    besides, arent u moving to Miami in like a month or something? u keep talking about it.
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    Jul 16, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    Import said
    jmusmc85 saidAs much as I would like to kidnap the dogs and take a bat to his car, it is not my style. Never has been. And it would only add to more drama and unneeded road blocks for me continuing on with my life. Though I regret not pressing charges on him when I could. icon_neutral.gif



    Right now the public opinion on him (in the DC scene) is that he is cray cray, and I would like to keep it that way.

    bro, why do u even care? you're broken up, like get over it.


    besides, arent u moving to Miami in like a month or something? u keep talking about it.


    Did you not read anything I just wrote? Because he has my dogs. I love those guys. That's the only reason why I'm civil with him. I live with 2 room mates right now with cats and no yard so I can't exactly keep them with me at the moment. But I don't want to jeopardize anything that might not allow me to see them again.

    You have pets? Shirley, you would understand.

    Believe me, there is nothing more I would like than to never speak to him again.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jul 16, 2012 5:07 PM GMT
    I have a dog and a cat, so I understand.

    But just assumed u would leave them in DC when u movied to Miami, so I didnt think they were like...... a big deal to you.
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:16 PM GMT
    Import saidI have a dog and a cat, so I understand.

    But just assumed u would leave them in DC when u movied to Miami, so I didnt think they were like...... a big deal to you.


    I thought about just taking one, but I don't want my selfishness to break up the bond between my boys. They really are best friends. They sleep on each other,play together and lick each other all the time. It is adorable. I truly believe dogs have feelings and I don't want to end their life together, even if it hurts me.


    I dunno. I'm stuck between a rock and a hardplace, with an unstable ex breathing down my neck all the time.....


    Edit: I know this is not a land dispute between Israel and Palestine or anything serious like that. I don't want to sound like this is life or death or anything. Once again, just needed to vent....
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    Does he treat the dogs well? If so, it's gunna hurt to hear this but you've gotta cut the cord and go.


    jmusmc85 said
    Import saidI have a dog and a cat, so I understand.

    But just assumed u would leave them in DC when u movied to Miami, so I didnt think they were like...... a big deal to you.


    I thought about just taking one, but I don't want my selfishness to break up the bond between my boys. They really are best friends. They sleep on each other,play together and lick each other all the time. It is adorable. I truly believe dogs have feelings and I don't want to end their life together, even if it hurts me.


    I dunno. I'm stuck between a rock and a hardplace, with an unstable ex breathing down my neck all the time.....
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidDoes he treat the dogs well? If so, it's gunna hurt to hear this but you've gotta cut the cord and go.


    jmusmc85 said
    Import saidI have a dog and a cat, so I understand.

    But just assumed u would leave them in DC when u movied to Miami, so I didnt think they were like...... a big deal to you.


    I thought about just taking one, but I don't want my selfishness to break up the bond between my boys. They really are best friends. They sleep on each other,play together and lick each other all the time. It is adorable. I truly believe dogs have feelings and I don't want to end their life together, even if it hurts me.


    I dunno. I'm stuck between a rock and a hardplace, with an unstable ex breathing down my neck all the time.....



    He treats the dogs well as far as I know. I just don't like how he is using them as leverage for something that does not have anything to do with them.
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    Artwork-no-drama.jpg
  • AMoonHawk

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    Jul 16, 2012 5:28 PM GMT
    If you left the dogs with him after the breakup .. then they are his, so you don't need to visit them.

    Just call the cell service and tell them to take your name off the plan and get your own and move on with your life.
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidIf you left the dogs with him after the breakup .. then they are his, so you don't need to visit them.

    Just call the cell service and tell them to take your name off the plan and get your own and move on with your life.


    So I can't see my boys ever again? I broke up with him, not my dogs.

    And I tried to cell phone thing. I guess we both need to be there in person....
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 16, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    AMoonHawk saidIf you left the dogs with him after the breakup .. then they are his, so you don't need to visit them.

    Just call the cell service and tell them to take your name off the plan and get your own and move on with your life.


    So I can't see my boys ever again? I broke up with him, not my dogs.

    And I tried to cell phone thing. I guess we both need to be there in person....


    Btw, even if makes good on his threat to report the phone stolen, once it becomes apparent that you are his ex no one will take him seriously, least of all the cops.
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    If you are moving to Miami, how are you going to see them?

    Look, I know it sucks. My bf went through the same situation with his ex over their dog. He doesn't get to see the dog ever. He's okay though, even if it makes him sad from time to time. We have a dog that he loves just as much..so it does get better.


    jmusmc85 said
    AMoonHawk saidIf you left the dogs with him after the breakup .. then they are his, so you don't need to visit them.

    Just call the cell service and tell them to take your name off the plan and get your own and move on with your life.


    So I can't see my boys ever again? I broke up with him, not my dogs.

    And I tried to cell phone thing. I guess we both need to be there in person....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    AMoonHawk saidIf you left the dogs with him after the breakup .. then they are his, so you don't need to visit them.

    Just call the cell service and tell them to take your name off the plan and get your own and move on with your life.


    So I can't see my boys ever again? I broke up with him, not my dogs.

    And I tried to cell phone thing. I guess we both need to be there in person....
    Ah! theres where you blew it!

    My baby(dawg) goes with me.. even if I have to rent a box... or live in the car! You failed to make those arrangements before you 'broke up'..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:40 PM GMT
    The dog situation sucks, but sounds like you either have to let them go or deal with the ex any time you want to see the dogs. Unfortunately there are no custody or visitation laws in favor of canine children like with human children icon_cry.gif
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    jmusmc85 said
    AMoonHawk saidIf you left the dogs with him after the breakup .. then they are his, so you don't need to visit them.

    Just call the cell service and tell them to take your name off the plan and get your own and move on with your life.


    So I can't see my boys ever again? I broke up with him, not my dogs.

    And I tried to cell phone thing. I guess we both need to be there in person....
    Ah! theres where you blew it!

    My baby(dawg) goes with me.. even if I have to rent a box... or live in the car! You failed to make those arrangements before you 'broke up'..


    Easier said than done, my friend. Easier said than done....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    If there is a chance he would let one go with you, I would jump on the chance. Of course dogs have feelings, but they also have very short attention spans. Your baby would be perfectly happy with you after a few days, even without his friend.

    If he won't let one or both go with you, keep in mind that dogs are property. Do you have any evidence that you own either or both of them because you paid for them, or for some other reason? Is there any email or other correspondence saying that he is just keeping them from you? If so, then maybe, just maybe, you could get a court to give them to you.

    But as they say, possession is 9/10 of the law. If he has them and doesn't want to give them up, then if you want to visit them you're probably going to have to do it on his terms. So sorry, I know we love our animals. Otherwise, I'd say, just give him every opportunity to meet you to terminate the phone plan, and if he doesn't play ball (and keep evidence of this), then just port your phone number to a new individual plan and stop paying him.



    (PS, this isn't legal advice and I'm not your lawyer. Blah blah blah boilerplate.)