Poor Relationships with Siblings

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    Jul 17, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    I looked this up and didn't see anything on it so here we are.

    The previous thread [Teens Hold Clothing Drive For Classmate Who Dresses Really Ugly] got me thinking since the girls in the videos posted remind me so much of my own two sisters.

    Around here, I've seen posts about poor relationships with parents and "authority" figures in general - usually in part due to their homosexuality - which isn't to say I haven't seen any good posts about their relationships with parents but thats beside the point. But more often the not (in fact, I've never seen posts) I see people having good relationships with their siblings.

    I'm thinking this in part to simply being part of the same generation and having more liberal way of thinking then the parents. Siblings are supposed to be our peers and sources of some family support when the parents are not there...but then there are those where it goes terribly wrong and backwards.

    So, finally getting to my point, is there anyone [else] here who actually has a poor relationship with their siblings? For any reason - could be the homosexuality or just general strain.

    For me, it's a little complicated since it's pretty much that is causing strain. My sisters are, to be frank, the very definition of the word "cunt". When someone decided that was an insult to all women - my sisters are what they had in mind. Anyway, they're the type to say bullshit such as:

    "Well, when you have multiple children - one of them is bound to break your heart!" This is in reference to parents with a gay child. Keep in mind, I'm not out with them. Or "I agree with separate but equal." or "Why would anyone have children with someone of a different race!? Imagine that poor child - they're going to be so ugly and confused!" Just a little ironic that the children ended up more..."backwards thinking" then the parents.

    Now my problems with them (we live in the same house and we haven't spoken in two months) is rather that they think they are my authority figures and that I'm subservient to them - they're the princesses and I'm the man so I HAVE to do things for them. I'm 21 years old - I can dictate my own life. If Grandpa passes out on the roof cleaning the gutters and he never asked me for help - it ain't my fault in the slightest.


    So please - share your sibling rivalries and pains and how much you hate your parents other children.
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    Jul 17, 2012 2:01 AM GMT
    What's a sibling? My brother and I are both adopted from different paternal mothers, therefore I feel no obligation to talk to that asswipe. icon_twisted.gif
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    Jul 17, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    Growing up there was defiantly a bad blood rivalry between me and my older brother mainly over jealousy and thinking one is always better than the other. But now as two grown men we have put our differences aside and come together as brothers and learn to always be there for one another. But all of that aside i do have mad love for my brother and would do anything for him. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 17, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    Don't even get me started on my sister...

    I love her and I genuinely hope she pulls her shit together and in a few years we can have a decent relationship... but she and I are complete opposites. She is small town, and small town mindset and I am nothing like that so we clash on a lot.
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    Jul 17, 2012 4:08 AM GMT
    I have 3 sisters and have 3 distinct relationships with each of them.

    I tend to get along best with my 16 year old sister and not so well with the other 2 who are total nerds but literally couldn't get themselves out of a box if they didn't have directions. My older sister was the first person I came out to and she was great though. Love all 3 of them more than anything in the world.
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    Jul 17, 2012 4:19 AM GMT
    hmmm i have 2 brothers,one is going to graduate in college this year and the other about finish high school next year,unless he dropped out,but i am not close to them coz i am busy working while they have their homework and online game problem to tackle,we rarely talk,my father is the worst,we probably chat like 20 sentences only for a month,but he is closer to my brothers,i guess he had lose his hope and faith on me(coz i am a fag),lol,which mean i on ly have my mum left to talk to(yes,she is tiger mum),but i do love all of them regardlessly.
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    Jul 17, 2012 6:01 AM GMT
    lol ! cant be serious, thats not having a poor relationship with siblings
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2012 6:05 AM GMT
    I only have one sister. I couldn't love her any more. BFF's for life! icon_cool.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    Jul 17, 2012 6:05 AM GMT
    My brother and I LOVE each other, we just don't particularly LIKE each other all that much. icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 17, 2012 6:17 AM GMT
    My brother and I have always been distant, both geographically and emotionally. First of all, we're half siblings; we share the same mother. Second, he's 12 years older than me. Third, he grew up with his father and step-mother after our mother and his father divorced.

    I basically grew up an only child with our mother and my father. He lived in Texas while I lived in Spain and later Virginia. He came to visit only a few times during my childhood that I can remember. However, he moved to Maryland around 10 years ago, so you can imagine I've been able to see him more often since then.

    We get along just fine. He and I have never had any problems, but I think that's because we still don't know each other quite that well. Nevertheless, I can honestly say he's a good and hardworking guy. His sense of humor fits in with the rest of us. We both also look after Mama. However, I don't think we're quite "brotherly" so to speak. At least he no longer feels like a stranger in my life.

    Sometimes I wonder how our relationship will be when our mother dies. Will it strengthen? Will it die? Or will it stay pretty much the same?
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    Jul 17, 2012 6:36 AM GMT
    It wasn't until our Father was dying, our Mother already gone 4 years earlier, that my only sister told me how much she hates me. Both in our 40s by then, she said our parents always knew I was gay, and they told her about me when I enlisted in the US Army, and she was 17. (They never spoke to me about it, however, so imagine the shock of hearing this come out of the blue from my sister). She also made it clear how intensely she hates gays, solid Republican that she is.

    She additionally told me how much she hated me when we were children. Apparently she resented all the attention I received, that I got the better presents & toys. And that I was mean to her. I suppose in retrospect my parents did spoil me as the oldest son, typical of their generation (they'd be 101 and 95 now), but I never asked them to do that, when you're a little kid you accept what your parents do.

    And as for being mean, I simply ignored her when we were growing up, had no interest in her or her stuff. Maybe she was lonely, I dunno, but boys of my generation didn't play with girls, and certainly not those 3 years younger. About the most interaction I had with her was when I'd style her hair, like a beautician, it being no surprise my parents would have guessed I was gay.

    But the real shock was when she told me she'd gotten pregnant at the time I entered the Army. Our parents took her out of school, and literally confined her in a Catholic convent until the baby was born. A couple months short of 18, the fate of her newly-born son could legally be decided by our parents. Our Mother chose adaption over my sister's objections, telling her that I would be "furious" if I knew about the situation.

    WHAT??? How about asking ME, Mom? And now my sister was actually blaming me for the loss of her son, whom she never saw again, over 25 years earlier? And my explaining to her that I never knew about any of this, I was away in the Army, and that Mom had no right to use me as an excuse for her plan to put the baby up for adoption, would not satisfy my sister. She still blamed me for it.

    Our Father died a short time later, and after the funeral I never spoke to my sister again. It's been 15 years now, and I assume we'll never be in contact for the rest of our lives. To my knowledge there's no plan in place for me to be notified should she die (she's a widow living alone, had no other children besides that illegitimate son), and I've made no arrangements for her regarding my own death. She's not even named in my will, nor in any legal documents listing next of kin. For all I know she could have already died.
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Jul 17, 2012 6:54 AM GMT
    Well, I would have to say that growing up, I had some really terrible relationship with my older brother. He would do things and blame me for it, due to the fact that he knew my mom would not punish me for that. I figure that must be a typical sibling thing. As he grows up, I honestly could say he is now my best friend.We got along so much more than I do with any other persion in my family, including my mother.

    My younger brother is a pain and I can not wait to get out of this place and live him to everything. He is lazy and just purely evil. Generally when my mom is getting mad at me, he will be the one urging my mom to keep it up and he also will be adding to it as if he knew more than I. I seriously feel completely different among all of them. I am the only introverted person out of all of them. Unless I am pushed to the wall, I typically do not like to let them get to me. I hope that I get that Bursary so I can move in to college campus next year. He can finally start to understand how life is.
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    Jul 17, 2012 7:07 AM GMT
    My brother lives halfway across the country and we see each other twice a year. That's plenty.

    Growing up we were pretty much opposites, but got along great. That guy who my brother used to be doesn't exist anymore. He's a fundie and is not enjoyable to spend time with.
    He was involved with a pray for prop 8 thing. He mostly calls anyone in the family when he wants money.
  • Havasu

    Posts: 135

    Jul 17, 2012 7:34 AM GMT
    Everyone knows mixed race babies are cuter in general. I have one brother I've never had a single argument with. I have another brother and we used to argue so much that we wouldn't even talk for years at a time. Nothing to do with homosexuality. In my family, the less normal you are the better. The main issue probably comes down to competitiveness, esp. if you are closer in age. With a healthy dose of selfishness.
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    Jul 18, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    I have four brothers, I'm the youngest. I have always had a fairly good (not close) relationship with all of them. We kept in touch, visited and enjoyed each other's families until I came out 4 years ago. I now have two. Two of my brothers have not spoken or made any attempt to contact me since I came out.

    It was difficult to realize that the love I thought was there, somehow was dominated by selfish ignorance. I've accepted their decision, removed them from all aspects of my life and concentrated, instead, on the two that support me and my immediate family.
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    Jul 18, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    I'm the youngest of 5, I love siblings; though they drove me up the wall the past, and puzzle me still... I love them each for what they've taught me and individuals, but pretty much hate them for the same reasons.
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    Jul 18, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    JR_RJ saidI'm the youngest of 5, I love siblings; though they drove me up the wall the past, and puzzle me still... I love them each for what they've taught me and individuals, but pretty much hate them for the same reasons.


    I love her songwriting! She is one of my favorites!
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Jul 18, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    growing up, i was never close to my siblings. although i have developed a better relationship with my sister in recent years (we'll call each other and talk on the phone once in a while), the relationship with my brother is inexistant. my brother and i don't speak and it has everything to do with him being incapable of accepting my homosexuality
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2012 4:38 PM GMT
    My little sister is defiant and we don't communicate with each other anymore. Too long of a story, but the fact she treats/treated everyone like shit is a no go in my book.
  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1529

    Jul 18, 2012 6:58 PM GMT
    I am the oldest of 4 I have 2 brothers and a sister. It's not that I have a bad relationship with my brothers it's just we are completely different people. They're "stereotypical" douchy jocks who curse every other word. We do talk but not alot they do their thing I do mine. I am very close with my sister.