Making a DARING life choice...

  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    Jul 17, 2012 9:29 AM GMT
    I decided to up and move to LA tomorrow to start a new life. I have a total of 3 bucks to my name, a bowl of pasta saved up and the clothes on my back but I feel like I need to do this. Phoenix has nothing to offer me anymore and to be honest it really hasn't offered me much in the first place.

    The scariest part about this move is not having a place to sleep when I get out there. I will be crossing my fingers hoping to find a friend out there before I get out there or sometime soon, so I can sleep on their couch while I get things settled. With that being the main worry, I couldn't think of too many cons that would keep me in PHX, so I had to make a list to officially figure it out.

    Pros of moving out there:
    - I have a job as a barback there waiting for me.
    - I can pursue dance, modeling, and acting professionally
    - I can learn from some of the best entertainers in the world.
    - I can visit the beach anytime I want to and not have to make giant plans out of it.
    - It's not as HOT!
    - more more more good stuff

    Cons
    - not having a place to stay
    - new fish in a giant ass pond
    - I have to make a name for myself, AGAIN! (shouldn't be as hard this go around).
    - I don't know where the "bad" areas are icon_rolleyes.gif
    - I'm gonna miss my new dance friends a hell of a lot. (they're my fambam)

    If any of you have any suggestions of places I can stay that I could initially afford, or any tips on how to survive the city please feel free to comment. This will be my 3rd trip there I can't wait.
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    Jul 17, 2012 10:58 AM GMT
    If you only have $3 and you're looking for a place in LA it's probably not going to happen. LA is pricey.
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    Jul 17, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    I feel the response in this thread will be somewhat scathing. icon_confused.gif
    Despite that, good luck...do what you feel is necessary! Think it over and talk with your family / friends before you do anything drastic.
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    Jul 17, 2012 12:20 PM GMT
    You'd have better luck in NY than LA if you're pursuing a dance career, just saying. LA is not the place to go to first find work and the networking is not as assessable as in other cities.
    Lived out there for 4 years (with a job in place) and saw a lot of talented and pretty homeless people.

    That said, life is about the risks and about putting yourself out there.

    Good luck.
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    Jul 17, 2012 12:33 PM GMT
    couchsurfing.com may help you for a few nights as you get landed and get to work.

    If you have a car, you can also sleep in the car. Shower at either the gym, or at the beach, or with a garden hose somewhere.

    Make some friends really quick and get into a roommate situation to stabilize your home environment.

    Consider looking up "Maslow's Hierarchy" of needs to give you an idea of what you should stabilize first, then second and so on.

    Good luck! I admire you for your courage to "Start from Zero" and fully enjoy a great new life! I wish you the best. Please feel free to PM me if I may be of any additional counsel.

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan

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    Jul 17, 2012 1:11 PM GMT
    ja89 saidIf any of you have any suggestions of places I can stay that I could initially afford, or any tips on how to survive the city please feel free to comment.

    If you literally have no money then aren't places to stay a moot point? You'd be better off waiting until you have someone in LA to stay with, and who can be your guide to the community and employment.

    When I decided to leave my previous BF I had very little money. I was still dealing with the costly consequences of my partner's final illness & death almost 3 years earlier. So I moved in with a gay friend in Texas, to see if I liked the area. But it was too remote for me, he had become an alcoholic since I last saw him, and then he took up with a kid 40 years his junior he "imported" from Houston. No place for me there.

    Next I tried Florida, where I knew some people. But first I got help from a guy I had just met in an AOL gay chat room, who could take me in right away. Stayed with him a week, wasn't impressed with the community. Next I stayed for a month just north of Palm Beach, with a recently-retired gay couple I'd known in New York City. Dullest town I've experienced in my life, with zero gay life.

    I wanted to get closer to Fort Lauderdale, a city I knew a little better, with a livelier atmosphere. I made contact online with a gay man in Wilton Manors, who said he could help me find an apartment, while I stayed with him. ("Wilton Manors? What's that, a retirement community, a gated community, or what?")

    Stayed with him 3 weeks before a friend of his had a rental place for me at a great price in Fort Lauderdale. I lived there for 6 months, dating the guy in Wilton Manors, because we had been immediately attracted. Then he "proposed" that I move in with him permanently back in Wilton Manors, and we've been partners for 5 years.

    That was 6 moves in 9 months on very little money. The secret was staying with guys, all of whom I'd originally met online, 3 of them years earlier and in person, 2 for the first time during this odyssey, and 1 even became my partner. You might consider this kind of networking for your LA move, but don't move until you have at least something already in place.
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    Jul 17, 2012 1:14 PM GMT
    You know they sell pasta in LA, right?
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    Jul 17, 2012 1:20 PM GMT
    You can do it. I was sick of Philly and just up and left for NYC in mid Dec. Worst timing ever but I had had enough. I didn't even spend Christmas with my family. That was rough. I had a hundred bucks in my pocket, my suitcase, and a couch for two weeks and worked from there. Now I'm getting involved in the dance community and all sorts of performance opportunities are coming up. I'd save more and find a place to crash for a bit if I were you. If you're hungry (literally and figuratively) you can do it. Its all up to you.
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    Jul 17, 2012 1:22 PM GMT
    From what I've seen of Phoenix, you'll probably be better off in LA...eventually.

    A spur-of-the-moment move to Miami with almost no money (<$4000) is how I got started, and haven't looked back. icon_cool.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jul 17, 2012 1:40 PM GMT
    ja89 saidI decided to up and move to LA tomorrow to start a new life. I have a total of 3 bucks to my name, a bowl of pasta saved up and the clothes on my back but I feel like I need to do this.



    I can totally relate to the adventure you are about to embark on because I did the very same thing when I graduated from Arizona State University --- up and moved to Los Angeles. The difference is that I had about $25,000 saved up as a cushion to help me find my own place to live, and ride out looking for a job. It's great you at least have a job waiting for you, but a little scary that you have no place to live or money to get one. Bar-back jobs are not all that lucrative, and L.A. is not a cheap place to live like Phoenix is. Hoping to meet a friend right away and crash on a couch is not exactly the smart way of preparing for such a big move. You could find yourself living out of your car (assuming you have one), and even parking that in L.A. costs money. I'm all for living life by the mantra "Take a leap of faith, and a safety net will appear", but having spent 20 years in Los Angeles -- arguably one of the toughest cities to survive in -- you are really rolling the dice here. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. At the very least, it will be an experience that you will never forget, so follow your dream, but just be smart about it.


    Good Luck!
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    Jul 17, 2012 1:44 PM GMT
    I did the same exact thing a few years ago. I left with enough money to buy me gas and food to get there and no place to stay. I slept in my car the first few nights but the weather in LA is great so even that was pleasant. I met some fantastic people in LA and got on my feet in no time. It was the most exciting and rewarding thing I've ever done!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 17, 2012 2:11 PM GMT
    It'd be better if you had more cash, but life is short and sometimes we learn the most by taking huge chances. Good luck, and keep us posted!
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    Jul 17, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    I wouldnt do it with some money. I did the same thing. I packed up and moved to NYC. Was there for 12 years. Then did it again and moved to LA. Been here 14 years.
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    Jul 17, 2012 2:32 PM GMT
    I totally get the overwhelming urge/need to go somewhere new and exciting. But you have to be smart about it. Set that goal, push yourself extra hard at whatever job you've got now, and SAVE your pennies. You've put up with your current location this long; unless you have a killer stalker chasing you out of the city, I think you'll survive a month or two more.
    Don't move to a new city until you have at least $5000 in the bank, and a new job secured there.


    If you try to move to la on $3, you're an idiot and deserve what lifes gonna throw at you...
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    Jul 17, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    No ones gonna hire a homeless dancer/model in a city supersaturated with many thousands of well networked ones with their shit more/less together... Just sayin.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jul 17, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    To the OP: Keep us posted on your adventure, perhaps even use this thread as a daily diary of sorts to let us know how it's going. Along the way, who knows, maybe someone here who lives and works in L.A. will read about your plight and offer up some help in the way of a tip on a job or a place to live. Don't be naive though --- because L.A. is not the sort of town where people go "Oh, hey, there's a cute young homeless guy with no money or place to live -- let's rescue him".
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    Jul 17, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    You got some balls, but you grow when you get out of your comfort zone. You'll do some amazing things for yourself that you didn't think you could, because you will have to. I got 1 year of rent money saved up and I'm still worrying, mostly about the job situation. I'll be there soon too. Good luck to ya!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 17, 2012 3:27 PM GMT
    If nothing else, there is always prostitution and sleeping on the beach ... your first stop should be the health clinic ... get lots of free condoms
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    Jul 17, 2012 5:08 PM GMT
    Do what you gotta do. I respect people who see what's not working in their lives and take the steps to make themselves happy. You may have a rough start, but anything worth having takes hard work. Be resourceful and safe. Good luck!
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    Jul 17, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    Wet blanket moment :

    LA, Hollywood in particular, is also called the "boulevard of broken dreams," filled with people with great aspirations, little money and shocking realities.

    I say save more money, get some connections, visit for an extended period, network and build a stable footing before making the leap of faith. LA, NYC are notorious for chewing people up and spitting them out.

    Best of luck. Play safe and wise.

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    Jul 17, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    I would never suggest someone can't do something they want badly to do; however, I would really hope you feel comfortable with whatever it is you have to do before doing it.

    I've been homeless many times in California and unless you are good at talking your way into business deals, you might find you are homeless a lot longer than what you are expecting.

    Jobs are really hard to find right now; hopefully yours won't fall through before you get here. I spoke with a homeless kid who has spent weeks to finally land a good days work yesterday doing hard labor. Thats it though. Now he is back at square one.

    We have a number of great shelters in Orange County as I am sure there are good ones in L.A. county, but you might have to deal with a waiting list to get in. One thing I know, you won't starve if you hang in the right places around the shelters.

    Seriously, paint two images of possibility instead of one before you do this. No matter what, it's going to take some self sacrifice and hopefully the pretty picture you have painted remains uplifting throughout whatever it is you have to go through.

    Best of luck.
  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    Jul 18, 2012 7:21 AM GMT
    Hey guys thanks for all of the advice, I take all good and bad situations as possibilities since either can happen at a drop of a dime. Just to shed some light on what's happening now, I'm on a bus headed to la crossing my fingers hoping a friend I know will pick up their phone really soon lol. I left the place I was at because I wasnt able to land a legit job that wasn't a scam. Its going on 3 months with me not having work now I can't eat. I had to pawn a lot of things to get out here and I plan on donating plasma or sperm the first chance I get. Iplasma will feed me, sperm will give me a roof over my head. Lately I have been doing some research on places and areas and found some people looking to share 1 bedroom apts. for 400 - 600 a month.

    As far as the job I've worked with this company before so they know me, it's just a matter of what position I get at this location.

    Living wise is still my struggle as I've said but I have recently found out that 2 friends from Tucson just moved here and are looking to rent a house with dancers and asked me to move with them as soon as we find a place. So I will have palace to stay after 2 weeks or so. It's a foolish choice to make for anyone financially but I'm not just anyone and I will be damned if someone tells me I can't do it. Too many negative voice in my life, it's time to tune them out. I graduated with a business admin and marketing degree I know how stupid this decision financially. Something is calling me out there though.

    I will keep you all updated on everything
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    Jul 18, 2012 7:26 AM GMT
    ja89 said... Too many negative voice in my life, it's time to tune them out.
    ...
    You took the words right out of my fingers.

    Stop worrying and just go. Worst case scenario, you'll move back to Tempe. No big deal.

    BTW, if you're not afraid of hard work outside, I might be able to hook you up. The company I work for has a base in LA (which I'd totally take the mgmt position for if the weather there wasn't so shitty and cold in the winter).
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    Jul 18, 2012 7:28 AM GMT
    Are you running away or moving???...
    You sir..have almost set youself up to fail !
    Do you want to move...and then struggle..???
    Secure more options before you move..COME ON !..
    Whish you luck..icon_neutral.gif
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    Jul 18, 2012 7:30 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidAre you running away or moving???...
    He's running away. It's completely obvious. But chastising him is stupid. It's his decision.

    It's also his decision whether ot not he makes it. Running away is only a small part of the equation. The large part is how he handles the inevitable adversities that come with it.