...mine is pretty big already (not to toot my own horn), but I wouldn't say "no" to a couple more inches. I hear a lot of talk about Penis Pumps and weights and all this madness. Has anyone here gained extra size as a direct result of something you did, took with a meal, or bought in a sex shop?

BTW, if you flame fairies wanna come in here and tell dirty dick jokes to try and stick it to me (npi), please do, nastiness is totally allowed here.

"This guy went to a sex shop and asked for a really good dildo for his wife to use because he was leaving on a trip and wanted her taken care of. The creepy shopowner retrieved a spider web covered box from under the counter and said "for $700 bucks, I'l sell you this "Voodoo Dick." Just tell your wife to say "voodoo dick my pussy" and this cock will giver the fuck of her life.

The man was skeptical, but he bought it and after giving her the instructions, he left her. Immediately, she got out the Voodoo Dick and said "Voodoo Dick my pussy"...the Voodoo Dick became illuminated, glided through the air, slid right into her pussy and started its mystical pumping. It was such a good fuck, she let it make her cum eighteen times. She got tired and asked it to stop, but it wouldn't.

She became afraid, put on a trench coat, and took off in her car to the hospital in hopes they could get the Voodoo Dick out of her. She could barely drive because the Voodoo Dick kept making her cum and she was all over the road. A Traffic Cop pulled her over and wanted to know what the problem was. She told him about the Voodoo Dick. He scoffed and said "Voodoo Dick, my ass...."