Relationships and Seth Godin's "The Dip"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 07, 2008 7:51 AM GMT
    Just read Seth Godin's "The Dip," a business book that's a basic retelling of a fundamental principle in achieving greatness. One of its major points -- it's okay to quit when you know you can't make it work, when you know it's a dead end, when you realize you can't be the best at it in the long term.

    So for those who have been in a number of relationships:

    How do you know when it's time to let go of a relationship? Conversely, how do you know if the difficulties are worth seeing through?

  • konfuzed

    Posts: 31

    Aug 07, 2008 3:45 PM GMT
    Since I've been going through this lately, I kinda concur with MMtMusc.

    While I'm debating, weighing the pros and cons, all the things that were good in the relationship and all the things I might be missing / hurting / pained from, I get a weird feeling in my chest. I can sleep, but if I roll over to even need to take a piss during the night, I often don't go back to sleep easily, and other telltales like that because the decision is always near the surface.

    Once I've made a decision and come to grips with it, that burning in the side of my chest disappears, I can roll back over and just get to sleep, and then it's just a matter of visceral reactions from old habits or other associations which crop up unexpectedly, and then those die down.

    Making a clear decision is especially good when it becomes clear it was the correct one, even if it was painful at the time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 07, 2008 3:49 PM GMT
    Here's a review I did of The Dip http://andywibbels.com/post/1586

    Interactive mindmap http://andywibbels.com/post/1586
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 07, 2008 5:16 PM GMT
    I am firm believer of listening to your gut! And you KNOW internally when it's done! So, for me I listen to my gut/feelings. Everyone knows when it's over; you feel it. You no longer want to be with them, do stuff with them or for them. You just don't feel the same about them or yourself for that fact. You roll your eyes when they make comments, you don't laugh at their sense of humor, it's all now annoying or irritating.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Aug 07, 2008 6:57 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidI am firm believer of listening to your gut! And you KNOW internally when it's done! So, for me I listen to my gut/feelings.


    Yes, my gut has NEVER lied to me and has clued me in when things weren't going right. I may not have known exactly what was going on, but my gut let me know something was not right. Now that I'm out of my relationship it has all come to the surface (what was going on).
    I think for me, I knew I had to end it, but I was holding on to this shred of hope that things would change and get better.
    In hindsight, I now realize that I could have saved myself from a great deal of emotional pain if I had just ended it when all the bullshit began and not a year later.
    Life lesson learned I guess!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 11:26 AM GMT
    When I was "married", I put up with my ex-husband's crap for almost 3 years before ending the relationship. I constantly kept telling him the same things over and over again, hoping things would change and get better, but they never did.

    However, that was years ago, and I was suffering depression, anxiety, and low self esteem. Needless to say, I dated a lot of dick-heads. icon_lol.gif

    Today, things are a bit different...to say the least.

    I dumped the last guy I dated simply because I knew I deserved better (that's the nutshell version). icon_biggrin.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 11, 2008 5:00 AM GMT
    When I prefer my own company, it's time to go.

    Also, when my expectations start scraping the ground, I'm gone at the first bump.