What you dont know wont hurt you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2008 11:34 AM GMT
    Theres a thread on here that is about snooping on your boyfriend. A significant amount of you said no...it is never ok....


    so, is it really true, what you dont know wont hurt you?
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Aug 07, 2008 4:04 PM GMT
    I think that's a straw man argument. Of course what you don't know can hurt you. But that doesn't lead to it being OK to snoop. If you find you don't trust a guy, then that lack of trust is most likely in and of itself a bigger problem than whatever you weren't trusting him about.
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    Aug 07, 2008 4:10 PM GMT
    Never snoop. Bring your feelings and thoughts to the forefront.
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Aug 07, 2008 4:13 PM GMT
    This is all a moot point if you simply keep him shackled up in your basement.
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    Aug 07, 2008 4:14 PM GMT
    Squarejaw saidThis is all a moot point if you simply keep him shackled up in your basement.
    Naked and with a gag, I hope.
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    Aug 07, 2008 4:27 PM GMT
    It's always ok to snoop on your boyfriend or anyone else in your life! Infact, I don't call it snooping, I just call it awareness. Especially since a spouse is a part of your life and you have a right to know about everything that is going on in your life. Apart from that, let's get real, noone snoops unless they have a reason to snoop and I say, If you've got a reason, you most definitely have a right to investigate. It's just like if you had a persistant headache or a realy bad toothache, you'd investigate: go see a doctor. Well, when you get those nagging pains regarding your man, don't just stand there, see what's causing them.
    The only reason a large percentage of the guys here didn't advocate snooping is because they don't want to get caught!!

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    Aug 07, 2008 4:39 PM GMT
    I'm with Guiltygear on this, I think it's important to know what's going on in your life - it's not snooping it's having the full picture.

    Certainly, I wish I'd been more inquisitive about what my ex-boyfriend was getting up to when he said he was working from home or when he was going over to see one of his friends. That old expression comes to mind "being played like a fool".

    Never again.
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Aug 07, 2008 4:44 PM GMT
    "The only reason a large percentage of the guys here didn't advocate snooping is because they don't want to get caught!!"

    Or, you know, they have concerns about respect, privacy, trust, and maturity.

    "let's get real, noone snoops unless they have a reason to snoop and I say"

    By the same token, let's get rid of that pesky 4th amendment. I mean, no one searches unless they have a reason to, and no one objects to a search unless they're hiding something they're guilty of, so there just can't be such a thing as an unreasonable search.

    I always have a hard time telling if posts like that are supposed to be taken seriously or as a piece of performance art.
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    Aug 07, 2008 4:47 PM GMT
    I think you have to ask yourself: "What if I found out your partner was snooping on me?" Would you be hurt by his lack of trust, or would you shrug it off as "just fact-gathering"?
    I think I'd be in the hurt camp. Snooping says that not only doesn't he trust me, but he doesn't feel close enough to me to talk about the thing that lead to the snooping, whatever it may be.
    I think snooping is a symptom of problems in a relationship far worse than whatever the snooping is about.
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    Aug 07, 2008 4:58 PM GMT
    redbull said

    so, is it really true, what you dont know wont hurt you?


    The response to the simplicity of this question is this... VERY TRUE! What you don't know won't hurt.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:01 PM GMT

    Bullshit, yes it can if you catch something from the cheating fuck.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:02 PM GMT
    Some sayings:

    Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves.

    Your character is measured by what you would do if you knew you wouldn't be found out.

    Beware of a half-truth; you may get hold of the wrong half.

    It is better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

    And...

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


    Curiosity killed the cat.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:03 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Bullshit, yes it can if you catch something from the cheating fuck.


    Ok! Exception to the rule IF it was/is something physical, like cheating. However, in a general blanket of a statement sense, no it can't hurt you if you don't know about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:18 PM GMT
    That statement "What you don't know can't hurt you" is a play on words and completely not true in pertinance to reality. Unlike the term, "Honesty is the best policy."

    -a banana peal

    -broken glass

    -carbon monoxide

    -spike strips

    -terrorists

    -a cheating spouse

    -black ice

    -mad cow disease

    -faulty wirering

    -termites

    -anthrax

    -high cholesterol

    -a credit scam

    -prostate cancer

    -radiation

    -contaminated food

    Apart from the banana pill, which was strictly added for comedic affect, here are fiteen things that can hurt you without you knowing about them. Can you name fifteen that can't?

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    Aug 07, 2008 5:23 PM GMT
    Dayum GuiltyGear thanks for making me look at it from a different angle. I do agree that what you don't know can hurt you, hell even kill you if a cheater has brought AIDS home to your ass because "you just didnt know". Getting played is no fun and should not be tolerated. I'd str8 up kill a bitch for that BS lol.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:27 PM GMT

    Don't kill a bitch, just watch your bitch.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:28 PM GMT
    Im not that good of a detective, besides if the end is near then there is nothing you can do to stop it, you can only speed things up haha.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:34 PM GMT

    that's why ya gotta catch it early. LOL, sorry, I'm a big advocate for DUMPING HIM.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    In other words you are in favor on short lived relationships haha.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:43 PM GMT
    I was in a long term relationship where my partner was fooling around to the point where he became tired and forgetful. One morning after being at one of his sex parties (which I didn't know about) he fell asleep at a friend's house. He was smoking a cigarette. You can guess the rest; the fire brigade pulled him out after he had suffered 60% burns and he died 4 days later.

    So, I wish I'd snooped on his goings on a bit sooner, then perhaps we could have had it out and we would have split up and then he wouldn't have sneaked around my back to the point where it was making him so tired.

    It's very important to have the full picture.

    Sermon ends.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:48 PM GMT

    No, just don't take shit off of anyone and if you have to have "short lived" relationshps, 100 if need be until you find that guy you totally love and trust and never have to snoop on, so be it.
    He's out there, so why waste time with the dudds. These people here who may think I'm too strict probably are thinking you gotta except a man for a man. Fuck that, I don't cheat so I know I can't be the only one. Even if it isn't cheating: he lies about where he goes, he berates you, he is secretive...dump his ass. A good man should be like a magazine not a diary. You should be able to open him up and read his articles anytime you want. Me, I like my pages flipped often. So not so much snoop on him, but nothing wrong with keeping up with current events, I don't imagine.

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    Aug 07, 2008 5:49 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidI was in a long term relationship where my partner was fooling around to the point where he became tired and forgetful. One morning after being at one of his sex parties (which I didn't know about) he fell asleep at a friend's house. He was smoking a cigarette. You can guess the rest; the fire brigade pulled him out after he had suffered 60% burns and he died 4 days later.

    So, I wish I'd snooped on his goings on a bit sooner, then perhaps we could have had it out and we would have split up and then he wouldn't have sneaked around my back to the point where it was making him so tired.

    It's very important to have the full picture.

    Sermon ends.


    Unfair example.

    So sorry about your ex, but that was an accident no one could have stopped even if you knew about it.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:53 PM GMT

    No, sedative, probably wouldn't have, but may have been able to stop it, had he known.

    Damn, RedHeadGuy, there is a good screenplay just waiting to bud from that story.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2008 5:54 PM GMT
    Like I said before (but I can't remember since I'm 50 and have Alzheimer's) snooping and spying are just symptoms of a bigger problem. It's human nature to want to protect yourself, I know, and it's impossible never to snoop. But, if spying because a regular thing, then I'd say your relationship is over.
    Now, speaking for myself, if Guilty was my b/f, I'd have him under 24 hour surveillance ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2008 6:03 PM GMT
    Yeah cheaters aint cool lol, if the relationship is open then its different. Of course haha.