New to this sex thing... could use some advice

  • BDRoland

    Posts: 49

    Jul 18, 2012 12:30 AM GMT
    Ack... this is long icon_sad.gif

    So to give you all some background up until a month ago I was a 24 year old virgin. I never thought I would have sex or even date because of trust issues (yadda yadda yadda).

    Anyway, I met this guy, fell for him, and we ended up dating and had sex soon afterward. To be honest the sex was not that great. We flip-flopped and during both scenarios I was rather uncomfortable (physically). It felt very awkward and wasn't that pleasurable. When he was topping me I had to tell him to stop every 30 seconds because he was so big. We used plenty of lube but it was just the length that got me. The head felt like it was pushing up against my colon and it hurt icon_sad.gif

    When I topped him it just felt awkward. It was hard getting it in and it kept slipping out and overall I did not feel much pleasure from it. Even blow jobs did next to nothing for me. I felt that my hand could do the job 100x better than anything I experienced. We actually broke up shortly after because I also realized that I rushed into a relationship too fast and needed time to sort out my feelings and such. Since then I have been with one another guy and the experience was rather similar. Except this time I tried topping him and couldn't even get it in!!

    So far sex is something that doesn't seem worth it to me at all and I was wondering if you guys had any advice on the whole situation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2012 12:37 AM GMT
    Buttsex is very popular, but it isn't for everyone.

    Cuddling, groping, frottage, and jacking off are much more enjoyable for some (including me).
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    Jul 18, 2012 1:02 AM GMT
    So..you two are having sex..and not making love..?? You said you fell for him!..You two might have to work out some sexual compatibility issues..And for crying out loud you two have to go a little slower..or you'll both end up in the E.R...

    Here's what worked for me in prison.. icon_eek.gif (kidding)

    Sit on your man facing him...
    he needs to see and feel your reactions for every move he makes
    and then you two switch..start there..and then step up the game !! Hugzicon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidSo..you two are having sex..and not making love..?? You said you fell for him!..You two might have to work out some sexual compatibility issues..And for crying out loud you two have to go a little slower..or you'll both end up in the E.R...

    Here's what worked for me in prison..

    Sit on your man facing him...
    he needs to see and feel your reactions for every move he makes
    and then you two switch..start there..and then step up the game !! Hugzicon_biggrin.gif

    ummmm.. why did you add: "...in prison"? Couldn't you have simply said: "Here's what worked for me"?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidButtsex is very popular, but it isn't for everyone.

    Cuddling, groping, frottage, and jacking off are much more enjoyable for some (including me).


    true.. different things do work for different people, but please don't let one bad experience ruin it for you.

    See before my first time, I was a porn watching pro... lol so i kind of had the visual of what to do.. it was just all about putting it into play. Maybe that will help a little.

    icon_razz.gif
  • Bakerboy

    Posts: 70

    Jul 18, 2012 1:35 AM GMT
    I think it's better to have a conversation with your partner rather than a forum, personally. Not that it's bad to go here -- by all means, you'll get some valuable advice, but nothing as valuable as having a back-and-forth exchange with your partner about what works best for you both.

    And if you feel uncomfortable having that conversation, odds are you're not with the right sexual partner.