Family is coming to visit ..tell them?

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    Jul 18, 2012 2:34 PM GMT
    Hi guys ..havent been on this site in a while. Entertaining forum to say the leasticon_razz.gif Good advice and awesome humor!

    Anyways, I am looking for advice. Perhaps on several different things. Let me begin.

    I recently moved to a new city and have been loving it. My sister and cousin are coming in a few days to visit and I'm super stoked to see them. I am considering telling them I am gay. Thing is, I haven't had sex with a dude yet to know 100% sure but I am indeed attracted to dudes. I've been going out to the gay bars with this one dude. He recently asked about our relationship and concluded he is attracted to me and wants to mess around.

    I do want to ..but the past friday I lost a sense of dignity. I went out with new coworkers and it basically turned into a shit show. One of the girls were denied to a bar so we went back to my place and hung out. We danced and then one thing led to another and basically had soft-core sex? Idk but basically I totally regret it and feel like crap about it. Like it was pretty intimate and I find her not attractive at all! And I work with her! ugh. We are both open to each other about being gay, but she brought up the kinsley scale and blahblah...

    Sorry my story is all over the place, basically the thing on my mind is whether I should tell my sister n cousin that I am a bit queer when they come visit? I am thinking of casually dropping the bomb and itll finally just be out there. I already told my mom and I feel like its just something I should share. Just nervous being I havent had sex yet. And if anyone has any advice about the whole coworker thing, my ears are open!
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    Jul 18, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    You are only as sick as your secrets. When it becomes too painful to carry a secret anymore you may change or you may deny. There are pills, anesthetics, personalities, and things to numb the pain, but that only works temporarily for maybe a decade or two. The choice is yours.
  • riamu79

    Posts: 42

    Jul 18, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    It sounds like you already know who you are deep down. I would tell her, you'll likely feel a lot better for it.
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    Jul 18, 2012 4:04 PM GMT
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    Jul 18, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    I've always lived my life out in the open and have been honest with myself and others. Here's the thing... I don't get "coming out" to family. Straight people don't come out. They just do what they do. It's natural for them and they don't explain to anyone. I'm the same way. If you aren't observant enough around me I guess you wouldn't know I'm gay, but anyone who pays attention at all would know and they don't have to ask, and I don't feel it's anyone's business who I put my cock in, especially my family.

    Not everyone's business.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2882

    Jul 18, 2012 4:07 PM GMT
    I knew I was gay long, long before I ever had sex with a man. It seems like you know it, too.

    Tell them. Live get a lot easier, and richer, when you're out and not hiding things from others or yourself.

    It's a big, bright place out here, outside the closet!

    Good luck and best wishes!
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    Jul 18, 2012 6:44 PM GMT
    it sounds like you are more worried than you need to be. its understandable coming out is a tough old task for most.

    i would say just go with how you feel at the time. if you say i really want to tell them, and then end up bottling it. dont beat yourself up for it you will still be gay (pressumably) next time you meet them.

    i guess what i would do is, just enjoy their company. setting conversation targets and specific things to talk about will just cause you uneccessary stress, just let it come out if it does.

    good luck

  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Jul 18, 2012 6:52 PM GMT
    Tell them that you're probably gay - that you haven't completed all the necessary research, but so far, most factors indicate a same sex preference.

    Then, later on, when you're 100% sure, and you're full blown gay, not a bit queer but totally 100% queer, you can share the results of the completed study - if they even care.