IS TEA TOTAL, A TOTAL TURN OFF???

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    Jul 18, 2012 7:03 PM GMT
    So i dont drink or smoke or do any drugs. im not a recovering alcoholic, or former druggy. i just dont want to.
    i used to drink in the army and have always partied hard. but about 2 yrs ago i was cutting wieght for a fight, so obviously couldnt drink. i had the fight and cut fairly easily, but at the after party i was offered a beer and just didnt fancy drinking, so i didnt.

    anyways it got to about eight or nine months and i hadnt had a drink so i just decided why stop there?

    the trouble is, as soon as someone finds out i dont drink (not so much with smoking) and sometimes drugs, they assume i am not interested in going out or am really boring health super freak, one of those body is a temple types. butthat is totally wrong. i love being fit strong and healthy, it feels great, but i still love to party and dance and go to clubs until silly oclock the next day.

    so i guess my question is, if you went on a date, or were interested in someone and you found out that they were "tea total" (hate that phrase. i dont drink tea!) would it in any way affect your view of that person?
    and if so positively or negatively?

    thanks

    luke
    x
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    Jul 18, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
    I know personally it doesn't affect my opinion - unless they were total tools about it = as in aren't educated in drugs and such.

    But I know how you feel - I always think that guys will find it a total turn off if I tell them I can't smoke (illegally) because of my future job prospects and my major. I think "Oh God. They know I was a CJ major. They're going to think I'm a total tool who goes along with whatever someone tells me and I'm a blind puppet." Or something like that. Which is false.
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    Jul 18, 2012 8:53 PM GMT
    lucky_sevn saidSo i dont drink or smoke or do any drugs. im not a recovering alcoholic, or former druggy. i just dont want to.
    i used to drink in the army and have always partied hard. but about 2 yrs ago i was cutting wieght for a fight, so obviously couldnt drink. i had the fight and cut fairly easily, but at the after party i was offered a beer and just didnt fancy drinking, so i didnt.

    anyways it got to about eight or nine months and i hadnt had a drink so i just decided why stop there?

    the trouble is, as soon as someone finds out i dont drink (not so much with smoking) and sometimes drugs, they assume i am not interested in going out or am really boring health super freak, one of those body is a temple types. butthat is totally wrong. i love being fit strong and healthy, it feels great, but i still love to party and dance and go to clubs until silly oclock the next day.

    so i guess my question is, if you went on a date, or were interested in someone and you found out that they were "tea total" (hate that phrase. i dont drink tea!) would it in any way affect your view of that person?
    and if so positively or negatively?

    thanks




    luke
    x





    I think you're looking for "teetotaler". The wiki page says the etymology of that word doesn't have anything to do with the beverage tea.
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    Jul 18, 2012 8:57 PM GMT
    IceBucket saidI know personally it doesn't affect my opinion - unless they were total tools about it = as in aren't educated in drugs and such.

    But I know how you feel - I always think that guys will find it a total turn off if I tell them I can't smoke (illegally) because of my future job prospects and my major. I think "Oh God. They know I was a CJ major. They're going to think I'm a total tool who goes along with whatever someone tells me and I'm a blind puppet." Or something like that. Which is false.


    you know what, i have never looked that up. thanks. my life is actually a little better now. icon_biggrin.gif x
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    Jul 18, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    lucky_sevn said
    IceBucket saidI know personally it doesn't affect my opinion - unless they were total tools about it = as in aren't educated in drugs and such.

    But I know how you feel - I always think that guys will find it a total turn off if I tell them I can't smoke (illegally) because of my future job prospects and my major. I think "Oh God. They know I was a CJ major. They're going to think I'm a total tool who goes along with whatever someone tells me and I'm a blind puppet." Or something like that. Which is false.


    you know what, i have never looked that up. thanks. my life is actually a little better now. icon_biggrin.gif x


    that came off really sarcastic. i was being genuine lol x
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:01 PM GMT
    I don't think of a teetotaler as negative, per se. However, I could see how it may raise some red flags. Is the person a recovering alcoholic obviously is the first question. It also tends to lend itself to isolation. To many, many, people, drinking is a social event. And a teetotaler might be seen as an outsider.

    From a dating perspective, I like to go out to have drinks or have dinner and drinks. If I'm dating a teetotaler, it would be odd. I haven't run into that situation, yet, but it's a bit hard for me to imagine.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    The fact that you dont drink tea is much more worrying.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    I thought this thread was going to be about actual tea. At first I was thinking, how the hell can tea be controversial? You either like it or you don't, simple as that. Nothing scandalous about it, lol.

  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Jul 18, 2012 9:07 PM GMT
    It's like sex. If you don't wanna, you don't hafta.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:08 PM GMT
    Just made myself a nice pot of English Breakfast, with leaves and not bags. Since I would of not had any trouble dating a gay Mormon who didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, nor drink tea or coffee, this would not be an issue for one. You can have lots of fun outdoors without getting drunk, or drinking.
  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Jul 18, 2012 9:08 PM GMT
    Teetotaling would not be an issue for me, provided it was something he did for himself and not something he had to push on the rest of the world. Same deal with vegetarianism or religion, btw; if it works for you, great, but don't force me to go along with it.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:11 PM GMT
    I'm the exact same way! I just don't like drinking, never have. Not because it can be unhealthy, expensive etc.....just don't like it.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:12 PM GMT
    calguy456 saidI'm the exact same way! I just don't like drinking, never have. Not because it can be unhealthy, expensive etc.....just don't like it.


    yey for me/us
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:17 PM GMT
    jim_stl saidTeetotaling would not be an issue for me, provided it was something he did for himself and not something he had to push on the rest of the world. Same deal with vegetarianism or religion, btw; if it works for you, great, but don't force me to go along with it.
    This*^x100& The OP is too cute to pass up! I'm going to have to look up Teetotaling in greater detail, but not a deal breaker, handsome! icon_cool.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:18 PM GMT
    I have this problem. I don't drink at all. The main reason is that I can't stand the taste of any alcoholic drink. Another reason is that I have a sensitive stomach, and alcohol burns my gut.

    Some people treat me like a weirdo. They seem to get this idea in their head that I do it for religious or health reasons. Other people say they don't mind, but I can tell that they do. If I hang out with them while they are drinking, they make the same stupid comments to me over and over again because I make them nervous.

    Drinking has become such a social activity in the U.S. that it makes me feel like an outsider. But I'm not going to do something I don't like just to fit in. Some people can't seem to have fun without drinking. Something seems wrong with that. But I have no problem being around people who are drinking. It bothers them more than it bothers me.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:22 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidI have this problem. I don't drink at all. The main reason is that I can't stand the taste of any alcoholic drink. Another reason is that I have a sensitive stomach, and alcohol burns my gut.

    Some people treat me like a weirdo. They seem to get this idea in their head that I do it for religious or health reasons. Other people say they don't mind, but I can tell that they do. If I hang out with them while they are drinking, they make the same stupid comments to me over and over again because I make them nervous.

    Drinking has become such a social activity in the U.S. that it makes me feel like an outsider. But I'm not going to do something I don't like just to fit in. Some people can't seem to have fun without drinking. Something seems wrong with that. But I have no problem being around people who are drinking. It bothers them more than it bothers me.


    thats different from me, because once i get out with people they can see that i am the same as them, and i would never preach about it being wrong or whatever i have done my fair share of drink and party drugs, i even smoked in the troops. but then again if people are wasted i do find it a little uncomfortable after a while. luckily the gay clubs seem to also, so not too many people get hammered
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:23 PM GMT
    I think it just varies by person. There are plenty of guys around who don't drink. My bf doesn't for example. I do, a little (a little red wine now and then is good for HDL levels, right?) but it doesn't bother me at all. Many of our friends who might drink - even quite a bit - in other social situations won't touch a drop when we're around, even when it's on offer. I assume because they realize they can have fun even without being plastered.


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    Jul 18, 2012 9:24 PM GMT
    lucky_sevn saidthats different from me, because once i get out with people they can see that i am the same as them, and i would never preach about it being wrong or whatever i have done my fair share of drink and party drugs, i even smoked in the troops. but then again if people are wasted i do find it a little uncomfortable after a while. luckily the gay clubs seem to also, so not too many people get hammered


    I never even bring up the fact that I don't drink until someone else brings it up. Inevitably, someone will ask me what I like to drink or something along those lines, and I'll have to explain that I don't drink at all.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidI have this problem. I don't drink at all. The main reason is that I can't stand the taste of any alcoholic drink. Another reason is that I have a sensitive stomach, and alcohol burns my gut.

    Some people treat me like a weirdo. They seem to get this idea in their head that I do it for religious or health reasons. Other people say they don't mind, but I can tell that they do. If I hang out with them while they are drinking, they make the same stupid comments to me over and over again because I make them nervous.

    Drinking has become such a social activity in the U.S. that it makes me feel like an outsider. But I'm not going to do something I don't like just to fit in. Some people can't seem to have fun without drinking. Something seems wrong with that. But I have no problem being around people who are drinking. It bothers them more than it bothers me.


    I've had a similar experience. I'm a very light drinker compared to most of my peers. The truth is, I drink only a few times a year and almost always during a social occasion. I certainly enjoy some good wines and hard liquor, but I don't drink often at all. The wine I do keep in my house I use more for cooking than for actual drinking.

    I think a lot of it stems from my college years going to parties with friends. Unfortunately some of my friends weren't responsible drinkers or didn't know their limit. I felt like I needed to be sober in order to be there for them and so they wouldn't get in trouble or at least be able to get home. It became a habit after a while.

    Many people I know like to booze it to escape their problems. It's never been my remedy of choice because, frankly, I've never felt better after drinking anything. I usually prefer to relieve stress through cooking, eating, exercising, or cleaning. I never got in the habit of downing cases of beer or bottles of wine when life got rough. But apparently I'm a freak for being different icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    Il_Dolce_Cranky saidWhy should anyone care what you are not drinking?
    By all means, have some sparkling water while I have my rye.


    I have no idea. Ask them. It's like I make them feel guilty or something. The most annoying comment is when someone says "Oh, you're not drinking? Ha! You're the only smart one here!" Orly? You think it's stupid, but you drink anyway? Whatever.

    There are people who can't seem to do anything socially without drinking. I've even known a few people that had groups of friends that they couldn't stand to be around unless they were drinking. That was a real puzzler.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    lucky_sevn saidthats different from me, because once i get out with people they can see that i am the same as them, and i would never preach about it being wrong or whatever i have done my fair share of drink and party drugs, i even smoked in the troops. but then again if people are wasted i do find it a little uncomfortable after a while. luckily the gay clubs seem to also, so not too many people get hammered


    I never even bring up the fact that I don't drink until someone else brings it up. Inevitably, someone will ask me what I like to drink or something along those lines, and I'll have to explain that I don't drink at all.


    Same, there is usually the uncomfortable, is he an ex alcoholic? silence too haha
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:31 PM GMT
    pocketnico saidI've had a similar experience. I'm a very light drinker compared to most of my peers...


    For me, it's all about the taste. For a long time, I couldn't even stand the smell of alcohol. I'm just super sensitive or something. For that matter, I can't stand the taste of coffee either. I couldn't stand the smell of it either, but it's just something I've had to get used to.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:33 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said I'm just super sensitive


    We know, baby, we know. It's ok. icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:34 PM GMT
    I'm not sure what it is, or if there is a name for it, but it seems like there is just a huge level of discomfort with people when someone within a party of people is not drinking. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to dinner with a group of people, and if the person ordering asks for a non-alcoholic drink, everyone else kind of looks at each other, like, "are we not drinking", or, "why is so and so not drinking, is there something going on". They'll even ask each other first, "are you going to drink" before they order their drink. Such odd behavior.
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    Jul 18, 2012 9:35 PM GMT
    showme saidWe know, baby, we know. It's ok. icon_razz.gif


    But I'm super senstive in some very good ways too. icon_twisted.gif