Jealousy - Need Advice

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:13 AM GMT
    A lot of you guys on here are very intelligent men and right now I have a problem that I really would appreciate advice on. I don't know why but jealousy, something I think shouldn't happen to people my age, has been taking over my thoughts lately.

    I don't know if it's like because of how crazy busy my life is right now but there's this one guy that I know, he's a good acquaintance and well ever since we left high school apparently his life has changed drastically. The formerly "quiet nerd" has gone on to "stud" with his facebook friends list going from like 100 to 600 + and all these hot girls all over him.

    Aside from that, he had a "body transformation" like really fast. Before I didn't really care but what really tipped me to become jealous of the guy is when I saw that he was like cooking and people were all over him loving his one pic of his food. I'm like cooking in restaurants and learning to do all of that, have loads of pics on my facebook but no one is drooling over them like they were him... it just kind of pissed me off and I got jealous.

    I hate that. I don't want to be jealous of anyone. I don't know how you all will take this post, but please, I'd really appreciate advice... this is just adding more to my daily stress and it's messing up my thinking.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jul 21, 2012 1:16 AM GMT
    dude, log the fuck off facebook and quit creepin other people's profiles only to feel bad about ur own life.

    NOT CUTE
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    Didn't you post a thread like this before?

    It's called not giving a fuck. Worry about yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    Import saiddude, log the fuck off facebook and quit creepin other people's profiles only to feel bad about ur own life.

    NOT CUTE


    It shows up on my feed when I log in so I can't help see it. And when we talk, he just brags about all that... and yeah, I did but it was about a different guy who also is really anti-gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    Jealousy is bad. MMkay?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    smh
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jul 21, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    MarkRoger said
    Import saiddude, log the fuck off facebook and quit creepin other people's profiles only to feel bad about ur own life.

    NOT CUTE


    It shows up on my feed when I log in so I can't help see it. And when we talk, he just brags about all that... and yeah, I did but it was about a different guy who also is really anti-gay.

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    block him from ur newsfeed if his success is making u tht mad.
    like, seriously. It's not that hard to deal with. GROW UP
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    Import said
    MarkRoger said
    Import saiddude, log the fuck off facebook and quit creepin other people's profiles only to feel bad about ur own life.

    NOT CUTE


    It shows up on my feed when I log in so I can't help see it. And when we talk, he just brags about all that... and yeah, I did but it was about a different guy who also is really anti-gay.

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    block him from ur newsfeed if his success is making u tht mad.
    like, seriously. It's not that hard to deal with. GROW UP


    Thank you.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 21, 2012 1:35 AM GMT
    MarkRoger said

    I hate that. I don't want to be jealous of anyone. I don't know how you all will take this post, but please, I'd really appreciate advice... this is just adding more to my daily stress and it's messing up my thinking.


    Maybe if you could determine where your feelings of jealousy come from or why you feel inadequate compared to him...it would be a start. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:38 AM GMT
    This made you jealous??..dude that's very telling!..Now i'm going to say a few things..and i want you to know i'm not being disrespectful..

    You live in a country that sends giant flying tin cans to the moon..!!!
    The sky is the limit!!
    Make it happen for you !

    Hugz!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:38 AM GMT
    Willybear said
    MarkRoger said

    I hate that. I don't want to be jealous of anyone. I don't know how you all will take this post, but please, I'd really appreciate advice... this is just adding more to my daily stress and it's messing up my thinking.


    Maybe if you could determine where your feelings of jealousy come from or why you feel inadequate compared to him...it would be a start. icon_wink.gif
    We already know why he feels inadequate. We're gay. We don't get the privilege of boasting about our sexual/relationship encounters with positive feedback from the general public.

    But still, jealousy is bad. Fuck the fuckers who can't handle gays being happy. I'll fucking slit their fucking throat if they don't like it. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    Actually, what Import said had the most effect. I think I just needed one of the guys on here that isn't a troll to say something like that... 'growing up' for real is what I've been trying to do for a long time, but taking the final steps into adulthood is pretty hard and a lot of stuff keeps me wanting to go back to the way things were when I was younger... weird.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 1:57 AM GMT
    When you discover the self-centered fear that is the basis of your jealousy you may finally be ready to let go of it. Until then, enjoy the torture.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
    MarkRoger saidA lot of you guys on here are very intelligent men and right now I have a problem that I really would appreciate advice on. I don't know why but jealousy, something I think shouldn't happen to people my age, has been taking over my thoughts lately.

    I don't know if it's like because of how crazy busy my life is right now but there's this one guy that I know, he's a good acquaintance and well ever since we left high school apparently his life has changed drastically. The formerly "quiet nerd" has gone on to "stud" with his facebook friends list going from like 100 to 600 + and all these hot girls all over him.

    Aside from that, he had a "body transformation" like really fast. Before I didn't really care but what really tipped me to become jealous of the guy is when I saw that he was like cooking and people were all over him loving his one pic of his food. I'm like cooking in restaurants and learning to do all of that, have loads of pics on my facebook but no one is drooling over them like they were him... it just kind of pissed me off and I got jealous.

    I hate that. I don't want to be jealous of anyone. I don't know how you all will take this post, but please, I'd really appreciate advice... this is just adding more to my daily stress and it's messing up my thinking.


    Go workout
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    Honestly studies find that its not healthy to glue yourself to face book.

    Just block him or eliminate his news feed. Simple as that.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Jul 21, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    Fivealive saidHonestly studies find that its not healthy to glue yourself to face book.

    Just block him or eliminate his news feed. Simple as that.


    An besides do not assume his life is perfect based on what you see on facebook, Facebook allows you to be anything and anyone you want to be
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 2:34 AM GMT
    Do you think he deserves everything that he has so far?

    and

    Do you think you deserve that too?

    A little jealousy can be good if it helps you aim higher to be the best you can be, but you cannot let it consume you.

    Even if he's glamorizing his life a bit, if what you said is true, he obviously made some changes to get where he is at today. Rather than ignore him, talk to him (if you can put your ego aside) it may give you a better insight about him and give you a more positive approach
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    Oh no, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you cry. I'm just a jealous guy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    tmac saidDo you think he deserves everything that he has so far?

    and

    Do you think you deserve that too?

    A little jealousy can be good if it helps you aim higher to be the best you can be, but you cannot let it consume you.

    Even if he's glamorizing his life a bit, if what you said is true, he obviously made some changes to get where he is at today. Rather than ignore him, talk to him (if you can put your ego aside) it may give you a better insight about him and give you a more positive approach


    What..???..Most people have what they have because they've earned it...you should feel ashamed if you resent someone for what they've earned!!..icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    Anocxu said
    tmac saidDo you think he deserves everything that he has so far?

    and

    Do you think you deserve that too?

    A little jealousy can be good if it helps you aim higher to be the best you can be, but you cannot let it consume you.

    Even if he's glamorizing his life a bit, if what you said is true, he obviously made some changes to get where he is at today. Rather than ignore him, talk to him (if you can put your ego aside) it may give you a better insight about him and give you a more positive approach


    What..???..Most people have what they have because they've earned it...you should feel ashamed if you resent someone for what they've earned!!..icon_mad.gif


    If the OP can convert his jealousy into fuel for his own success then he'll be just fine. I think those two questions will give him an idea where his jealousy stems from
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 21, 2012 2:50 AM GMT
    I had to check to see your age and a little about you on your profile.

    At 21, I think this kind of thing is pretty normal, honestly. What you need to realize is, this guy probably earned it and he got a lucky break. Do you want a bunch of women drooling all over your profile? Everybody's different, my suggestion to you is go after your dreams and enjoy life. So what if this guy is getting recognition. Get busy at the gym and put some of your pics on FB and you might have a number of guys drooling over you... and commenting on your cooking and food preparatoin capabilites as well.

    Just remember, the grass can always be greener. Stick with yours... I bet it is pretty green already!

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 2:57 AM GMT
    I think you're confusing jealousy with envy. What you're experiencing is envy. I think everyone experiences it at many points in their lives, so just know it's normal and don't beat yourself up about it. Then make a conscious decision to set some boundaries between you and this guy until you can get a handle on your envy.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 21, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    Jealously is closely tied to a poor self esteem...You need to highlight in your own head the unique qualities that stand out from others around you...You think your friends life is sunshine and light?...Everything is golden?...Stop assuming this is the case...He may deal with mountains of struggle and strife...Focus on you...and hop to it...You're envious over Mickey Mouse bullshit...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2012 6:22 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone for the mature and serious advice, I will take it all to heart. It means a lot to me what you guys posted so again, thank you all.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jul 21, 2012 6:34 AM GMT
    heyyyyyyyy.
    FACEBOOK IS A PLACE THAT A PERSON CAN BE WHOEVER HE WANTS.
    Some is not real.
    Log out and go with friends around you.
    You own YOU , no one could have something like you, you are who you are and your friends love you.
    I used to be a hot facebooker with 5000 'friends' and a 45,000 members community page.
    My stastuses always have more than 150-200 likes.
    But that means nothing to me , I dont need the virtual value.
    Then I changed my name , unfriend till 300 friends who I interact the most. Much more happier !
    Real Life > Facebook.
    Continue being you and remember that there's someones is jealous with you right now icon_lol.gif