How have you gotten over trust issues?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2008 6:16 AM GMT
    I have read alot of advice on here concerning relationships involving trust and low selfesteem, open and monogmaous, and etc.

    I know if someone is suffering from trust issues in a relationship with their partner it is obvious to try to see a counselor, but what else can be done in the mean time?

    If any of you have ever had trust issues in a relationship how did you get to the point you could trust again and not worry your being played or cheated on?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2008 6:45 AM GMT
    I think it takes time to heal. If you are currently with the person that may have caused you to mistrust them then everything should be done to build that trust back up.

    I was in a relationship a long time ago where a guy abused me emotionally and physically. I finally got out of it but because of his cheating, lying, beating me and etc., I still have trust issues to this day and the least little indescrepency in a situation with a relationship brings back all those feelings of doubt and insecurity I had because of him. It is a real struggle sometimes.

    It takes two to make it and two to break it. It is so hard though after that trust is broken but if the other person really loves you they will do all they can to fix it but you have to be willing to give them that chance.

    You need to spend time together to build each other up emotionally. Build the intimacy back again and the trust will come. I think taking baby steps like going on a romantic date, holding hands, creating new special memories and maybe recommitting yourselves to each other not by words but by actions.

    Making sure you do everything you can to not make the other wonder or even doubt your intentions or love. Hopefully in time the trust will come back and even though its hard to forget, you can forgive and move on.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Aug 08, 2008 10:58 AM GMT
    There's a twofold approach

    First you need to be sufficient on your own
    and like yourself
    You really can't be taken advantage of emotionally if you have good self-esteem

    The other is let go of your partner
    You have to "Trust" that he will Not cheat on you
    and take advantage of you in this way

    as for forgiveness
    That's completely up to you
    No one says that you Need to forgive
    But if you can't forgive you owe it to you and him to end it now before there's repercussions later on
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2008 11:03 AM GMT
    phenomenon said
    If any of you have ever had trust issues in a relationship how did you get to the point you could trust again and not worry your being played or cheated on?


    This is really something you need to work on BEFORE you get into another relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2008 4:01 PM GMT
    I have always had serious and deep-rooted trust issues resulting from my childhood. That is maybe why I found it difficult to get into a relationship even though I wanted one. I always have relied on myself and no one else, especially for emotional support.

    Before my partner and I started dating we both agreed that monogamy was important to us. I have also brought to his attention (and he with me) times when I think he has been taking me for granted.

    Trust in each other has been built up over many years now, and it really is a matter of constantly ensuring that the other person does not have a reason to doubt you. Despite all this trust, if he cheated on me the relationship would probably end, and although I would still love him, I would not forget the breach of trust.