Saying Goodbye to hookups!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2012 12:15 PM GMT
    So I think I've crossed a milestone in my life. I used to be into hookups but now I just wanna make friends over coffee or going out to a movie. U know, friends? Turns out I am a person not just a body. And same for all of u. I'm big into respecting the whole person and don't just want some random encounter.

    If anyone out there is looking to be friends drop me a line.

    Just wanted to share. Thx for reading
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    Jul 22, 2012 1:49 PM GMT
    Hooking up is not considered an esteemable act by many. Esteemable acts build good character - Non-esteembale acts build bad character.

    Now that you've become willing to make the decision to step off the merry-go-round, you get the wonderful experience of finding truth. The truth is there was a reason why you were attracted to unavailable men; it wasn't just a coincidence. I hope you un-discover it!
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    Jul 22, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    Why so much negativity toward hookups? What's the problem with periodic harmless fun?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 22, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    Friendships are awesome! Glad you can see people on a multi dimensional level. I wouldn't rule out hookups if you are single, but if I were single, I doubt if they would be random. A connection via friendship and attraction adds to the passion.
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    Jul 22, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    I'm so over "respecting-the-whole-person-and-don't-just-want-some-random-encounter" thing. Can someone please teach me how to hook up? icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 22, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidHooking up is not considered an esteemable act by many. Esteemable acts build good character - Non-esteembale acts build bad character.

    Now that you've become willing to make the decision to step off the merry-go-round, you get the wonderful experience of finding truth. The truth is there was a reason why you were attracted to unavailable men; it wasn't just a coincidence. I hope you un-discover it!


    I only buy the no sex stuff in you also don't jack off. If you have to jack off to stay sane then you might as well sink it into a hot guy and share your fun.
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    Jul 22, 2012 2:28 PM GMT
    Firebrand saidWhy so much negativity toward hookups? What's the problem with periodic harmless fun?

    Some would say it's because of the objectification of another to fulfill one's own sexual gratification. Such objectification devalues the other person as a human being, as well as oneself. There's no commitment, no real care or loving, no real depth. In other words, it's rather soul-less, empty. Strictly biological, like animals who cannot control their carnal urges. But humans are not mere animals. We are so much more. Hookups lack all the nobility and virtues of character, integrity, commitment, loyalty, fidelity (to oneself or another), honor, respect (self- and others), and simply, self-less love. Never in history has a slut ever been known for such qualities. So while one may have "periodic harmless fun" in one sense, one may also be sacrificing a whole lot more—therein, lies the "harm".
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    Jul 22, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    sbstn_frncsk saidI'm so over "respecting-the-whole-person-and-don't-just-want-some-random-encounter" thing. Can someone please teach me how to hook up? icon_confused.gif



    Hook- up procedure

    Go to club
    Take off shirt
    Say yes when a hot dude asks you to fuck.
    Fuck
    Kick him out the door.
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    Jul 22, 2012 2:37 PM GMT
    Enjoy! Either way you go about it, go with all heart and passion* icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
  • ciizer

    Posts: 107

    Jul 22, 2012 2:37 PM GMT
    TerraFirma said
    Firebrand saidWhy so much negativity toward hookups? What's the problem with periodic harmless fun?

    Some would say it's because of the objectification of another to fulfill one's own sexual gratification. Such objectification devalues the other person as a human being, as well as oneself. There's no commitment, no real care or loving, no real depth. In other words, it's rather soul-less, empty. Strictly biological, like animals who cannot control their carnal urges. But humans are not mere animals. We are so much more. Hookups lack all the nobility and virtues of character, integrity, commitment, loyalty, fidelity (to oneself or another), honor, respect (self- and others), and simply, self-less love. Never in history has a slut ever been known for such qualities. So while one may have "periodic harmless fun" in one sense, one may also be sacrificing a whole lot more—therein, lies the "harm".


    +1 icon_smile.gif
  • Scorpio1113

    Posts: 90

    Jul 22, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    Welcome to my world icon_biggrin.gif

    When I first came out, I went through a slutty phase. Over the years my feeling towards hook ups changed. From several...to few...to none.

    I'm just not interested in it anymore. I want sex, but I want it to be with someone I am with. I hope I can keep my word haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2012 2:55 PM GMT
    Alpha13 said
    sbstn_frncsk saidI'm so over "respecting-the-whole-person-and-don't-just-want-some-random-encounter" thing. Can someone please teach me how to hook up? icon_confused.gif



    Hook- up procedure

    Go to club
    Take off shirt
    Say yes when a hot dude asks you to fuck.
    Fuck
    Kick him out the door.


    Don't forget,,Take his wallet..!! icon_eek.gif

    WHAT???
    I can't be the only one
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    Jul 22, 2012 2:59 PM GMT
    buddy78717 saidSo I think I've crossed a milestone in my life. I used to be into hookups but now I just wanna make friends over coffee or going out to a movie. U know, friends? Turns out I am a person not just a body. And same for all of u. I'm big into respecting the whole person and don't just want some random encounter.

    If you go makes friends over coffee and then to a movie and then go home and have sex, you can call it date instead of a hook up.
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:00 PM GMT
    Wow terrafirma I absolutely couldn't have said it better. I feel dehumanized when I hook with with someone and the person I'm hookingnup with snt even a person in my mind. Just a hunk of meat. And that just leaves me lonely.

    To all thanks for your thoughts. I hope to hear from many other people on this thread.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    Hey iceblink. The difference is that while dating I'm hoping to actually get to know a person. If sex results then it will be in a relationship. Just seems more wholistic
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    Only a matter of time..Most of us get there..
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:03 PM GMT
    Anocxu said
    Alpha13 said
    sbstn_frncsk saidI'm so over "respecting-the-whole-person-and-don't-just-want-some-random-encounter" thing. Can someone please teach me how to hook up? icon_confused.gif



    Hook- up procedure

    Go to club
    Take off shirt
    Say yes when a hot dude asks you to fuck.
    Fuck
    Kick him out the door.


    Don't forget,,Take his wallet..!! icon_eek.gif

    WHAT???
    I can't be the only one


    I'll add douse everything with listerine.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Jul 22, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    If you're not capable of respecting someone you hook up with -- and of viewing them as a whole person, not just a body -- then no, you shouldn't be hooking up. But the simple fact of not getting laid isn't going to change your attitude towards others.

    There are a lot of friends, as well as couples, who first met on hookups.
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    slimnmuscly saidIf you're not capable of respecting someone you hook up with -- and to view them as a whole person, not just a body -- then no, you shouldn't be hooking up. But the simple fact of not getting laid isn't going to change your attitude towards others.

    There are a lot of friends, as well as couples, who first met on hookups.


    Oh I don't doubt it is possible to move form hookup to friendship. But I would much rather know someone as a person form my ver first interaction with them instead of having to "add the person" to their body later
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    TerraFirma said
    Firebrand saidWhy so much negativity toward hookups? What's the problem with periodic harmless fun?

    Some would say it's because of the objectification of another to fulfill one's own sexual gratification. Such objectification devalues the other person as a human being, as well as oneself. There's no commitment, no real care or loving, no real depth. In other words, it's rather soul-less, empty. Strictly biological, like animals who cannot control their carnal urges. But humans are not mere animals. We are so much more. Hookups lack all the nobility and virtues of character, integrity, commitment, loyalty, fidelity (to oneself or another), honor, respect (self- and others), and simply, self-less love. Never in history has a slut ever been known for such qualities. So while one may have "periodic harmless fun" in one sense, one may also be sacrificing a whole lot more—therein, lies the "harm".



    +3. Well put, bud
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:11 PM GMT
    lol, I never said hello to hookup, never did it for sex.

    Only hooked up for cuddling, sometimes naked but no sex icon_twisted.gif
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    buddy78717 saidHey iceblink. The difference is that while dating I'm hoping to actually get to know a person. If sex results then it will be in a relationship. Just seems more wholistic

    I was teasing you, sir. I don't believe there is anything wrong with a hook up, but it seems you have passed the period of our life and are now looking for something more serious. For most of us, we reach a point when filling that time in between sex with someone special in our life becomes more important than the sex.
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    Alpha13 said
    sbstn_frncsk saidI'm so over "respecting-the-whole-person-and-don't-just-want-some-random-encounter" thing. Can someone please teach me how to hook up? icon_confused.gif



    Hook- up procedure

    Go to club
    Take off shirt
    Say yes when a hot dude asks you to fuck.
    Fuck
    Kick him out the door.


    I expected something far more complex. Don't tell me it's THAT easy and I wasted most of my life going to cafes or sharing ice cream with those guys icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    TerraFirma said
    Firebrand saidWhy so much negativity toward hookups? What's the problem with periodic harmless fun?

    Some would say it's because of the objectification of another to fulfill one's own sexual gratification. Such objectification devalues the other person as a human being, as well as oneself. There's no commitment, no real care or loving, no real depth. In other words, it's rather soul-less, empty. Strictly biological, like animals who cannot control their carnal urges. But humans are not mere animals. We are so much more. Hookups lack all the nobility and virtues of character, integrity, commitment, loyalty, fidelity (to oneself or another), honor, respect (self- and others), and simply, self-less love. Never in history has a slut ever been known for such qualities. So while one may have "periodic harmless fun" in one sense, one may also be sacrificing a whole lot more—therein, lies the "harm".


    Your values are antiquated. There is nothing disrespectful about having consensual sex with someone.
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    Jul 22, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    Iceblink said
    buddy78717 saidHey iceblink. The difference is that while dating I'm hoping to actually get to know a person. If sex results then it will be in a relationship. Just seems more wholistic

    I was teasing you, sir. I don't believe there is anything wrong with a hook up, but it seems you have passed the period of our life and are now looking for something more serious. For most of us, we reach a point when filling that time in between sex with someone special in our life becomes more important than the sex.



    Oh lol. Gotcha.
    Yup I'm looking for that someone I think