Why are Gay Men so obsessed about looking good?

  • sandiegovince

    Posts: 111

    Aug 08, 2008 4:22 PM GMT
    Alright fess up, you aren't just going to the gym to stay healthy. Part of you--maybe a big part of you-is going to the gym so you can look uber hot to other guys. Hell, I admit it. I do. But, I will only go so far on my quest for the perfect body-which at my age I'll settle for the "almost" perfect body, not unlike one guy I know who just plunked down some serious moolah on HGH and steroids, not because he plans to go into competitive bodybuilding but so he can make his 40-something year old body look super-appealing to men half his age.Talk about vanity! So tell me how far would you go to look good or stay looking good?

    --Vince
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 5:21 PM GMT
    Because ugly gay men get sent to Antarctica, and I don't want to go there. icon_confused.gif
  • TexanMan82

    Posts: 893

    Aug 08, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    How far would I go? Well, my gym is about 5 miles away and my running trail is also about that....so, I would go about 5-10 miles to look good.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 5:36 PM GMT
    Because looking good is fun.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 5:37 PM GMT
    I feel like starting a thread called "Why do gay men think that everything is just about gay men?"

    Straight men want to look good and appealing too.

    Straight bars are just as annoying as gay bars.

    Straight men are just as horny as gay men.

    Straight men want to have 1000 sex partners too.

    etc...etc....etc...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
    having a hot body includes also oto-erotism for gays.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 5:46 PM GMT
    smalltownboy saidI feel like starting a thread called "Why do gay men think that everything is just about gay men?"

    Straight men want to look good and appealing too.

    Straight bars are just as annoying as gay bars.

    Straight men are just as horny as gay men.

    Straight men want to have 1000 sex partners too.

    etc...etc....etc...


    that just might be a great thread! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 5:49 PM GMT
    This reminds me of a pretty deep threaded about gay image posted a couple weeks ago or so:

    Body Image and Self Esteem in the Gay Community
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 5:50 PM GMT
    I dont know, it makes you feel good in your mind, you get more confident, you enjoy yourself, you are not embarrassed to go outside without shirt. Looking good is not a bless of god, most of the time is a decision. I can give you a lot of "before-after" and youd be surprise.

    So yeah, its not just good for your body but your mental health as well, but its just what i think.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 5:52 PM GMT
    Because...

    bees buzz to the brightly coloured flowers first because that's where the best pollen is found.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 08, 2008 5:56 PM GMT
    I just enjoy being the best possible..... healthy state of mind, looking good. Its great.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:07 PM GMT
    Tell me... what's wrong with wanting to better yourself?

    If that means making ure self more prettyful... what the fuck is wrong with it?

    The body is a temple, some say. Why not worship where it's visually pleasing?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:11 PM GMT
    StripperRocco saidTell me... what's wrong with wanting to better yourself?

    If that means making ure self more prettyful... what the fuck is wrong with it?

    The body is a temple, some say. Why not worship where it's visually pleasing?


    I agree! Nothing wrong with wanting to look good! and plus, you are more healthier or vice a versa!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:18 PM GMT
    How can we not obsess about doing whatever we can to look our best? the society we live in today is immersed in this deep yet shallow assumption that looking good places you in this superstar persona, thus gives the impression to other people that your life is wonderful, which therefore makes you attractive. Witness how every teenage girl wants to look and act as if theyre one of the gossip girls or live in the Hills; and how every straight guy is trying to look and act all gangsta, yet blending that act with the metrosexual way of grooming by shaving their chest hair(!!!), wearing too much designer impostor cologne to attract the ladies...ech! Anyway, we do the same thing. we pressure ourselves and each other that looking could be a way to elevate us from whatever issues we're having. an escape. of course if you're doing it to be healthy physically and mentally, great(and im sure almost everyone here at RJ is doing it for those reasons) But then again, whats the other alternative? im sure none of us wants to be saggy, unhealthy and depressed,right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:34 PM GMT
    smalltownboy saidI feel like starting a thread called "Why do gay men think that everything is just about gay men?"

    Straight men want to look good and appealing too.

    Straight bars are just as annoying as gay bars.

    Straight men are just as horny as gay men.

    Straight men want to have 1000 sex partners too.

    etc...etc....etc...


    Women are not as visually oriented as men are, so alot of straight men have this incredible belief that no matter how out of shape they get, women will still fall for them. I have always found it kind of strange how some people can create their own realities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:36 PM GMT
    Looking good is something everyone wants to do and be. How we view ourselves is sometimes more important then others.

    I can admit I look much better every sense I started going to the gym whereas before I didn't really find myself attractive. I still don't find myself to be that attractive but I'm enjoying the fruits of my labor that's for sure. My skin looks better, I have more energy, I'm healthier, I feel alot better about myself as far as condifence in my abilities goes and I'm just enjoying life as best I can like everyone else.

    Everyone is a little vain in some way, shape, and form whether they want to admit it or not. It's not a crime but there is a breaking point.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:36 PM GMT
    straight people are just as obsessed with looking good. we're just better at it icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:37 PM GMT
    Men are very strongly influenced by the visual. Probably due to our evolutionary past when we were hunter-gatherers.

    Many gay men will automatically dismiss other gay men as a potential sex partner on first glance. Conversely they will attribute all sorts of positive attributes to a guy they think is "hot". The guy could be an axe murderer and some gay men would not pick up on it.

    I only need to attract my partner, so I feel no pressure to attract other gay men. I like to be fit and active, because who wants to look at themselves in the mirror and see somebody that is out of shape?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:42 PM GMT
    I'll go as far as avoiding certain foods and activities but I don't plan to mess with my body any further than that. Wanting to look good is definitely human-some people just are more extreme or obsessive than others.
  • SuneFL

    Posts: 129

    Aug 08, 2008 6:45 PM GMT
    I think I started the workouts to "look" better. For me, though, it's become much more than that. My lack of self esteem came from recovering from -- no -- overcoming the effects of a devastating eye disease. I think I felt what I couldn't see in the mirror was unnatractive to others (my bf; other guys.) Exercise has become more than a body sculpting, face-saving habit. I now feel better than ever. So, what started out as a vain attempt to look better, has, in fact, changed my life -- hopefully forever!
    *ADD* I'd go far.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 6:50 PM GMT
    Healthy, good stress relief.....thats great and all but please. I want to look my best. For myself and to others. Im vain. I can admit that and im fine with that.
  • xKorix

    Posts: 607

    Aug 08, 2008 7:09 PM GMT
    Many gay men will automatically dismiss other gay men as a potential sex partner on first glance. Conversely they will attribute all sorts of positive attributes to a guy they think is "hot". The guy could be an axe murderer and some gay men would not pick up on it.

    Haha that's so true, good looks can be quite deceptive. You can have a hot guy who has his life in order inside and out, but than you can have a hot guy who spends his life trying to look perfect on the outside to hide the scary shit that's going on inside...

    But anyways I take care of myself, because I feel good when I do it, it contributes to my well being.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 7:47 PM GMT
    turk saidhaving a hot body includes also oto-erotism for gays.


    Oto-eroticism? Is that like sex with someone's ears?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 7:51 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    turk saidhaving a hot body includes also oto-erotism for gays.


    Oto-eroticism? Is that like sex with someone's ears?


    ...or maybe some kind of german sexual fixation. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 08, 2008 7:56 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    turk saidhaving a hot body includes also oto-erotism for gays.


    Oto-eroticism? Is that like sex with someone's ears?


    LOL shush. turk is obviously not a native english speaker, it's not his fault. icon_razz.gif

    He meant Auto-eroticism obviously.