Coming on too strong?

  • triptucker

    Posts: 2

    Jul 23, 2012 5:34 PM GMT
    I'm starting to wonder if I come on too strong with guys when I first meet them. Let me tell you about my last date and following contact with a guy I met and see what you all think:

    So I went on a first date with a really great guy on Saturday and we had dinner. Everything went fine. We talked about getting together sometime in the future.

    Well, today (Monday) I sent him a text asking him if had a free evening this week to get together. He says yes. So we agree on Tuesday. I tell him I will call him tonight to work out the details.


    So, my question is am I coming on too strong? Was it too soon to text him to make plans?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2012 6:40 PM GMT
    No way !!

    If you truly know he is into you..what's wrong with telling him you want to spend some time with him..

    You hung out Sat..
    You hit it off...??
    Sun..You gave it a rest..
    Mon..you text him to make plans to hang one day or two in the week..

    Now the task is to make shure this guy is digging you..(take it easy)
    That's your assignment for the week...

    Report back to this forum with details...
    (and cheesecake)..Hugz..

    (Wish you luck)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2012 6:42 PM GMT
    Prefer guys to come on strong, let me know if you are interested in me from the get go....hate guys who "play the game".

    Don't fall in love with me right away but don't do the stupid "flirting" stuff either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    After a first date: I've had someone text me 6 times from the moment i went to go shower, till the moment i came back (10 minutes?). The first text was "heya, lets go out on friday" and the last text was "why do you hate me?". <== not sure, but i think that's coming on too strong :-)

    I think what you did was coool icon_smile.gif
  • triptucker

    Posts: 2

    Jul 23, 2012 9:10 PM GMT
    Thanks everyone!

    I've just been on a long bombing out streak and I've been trying to take a look at everything and see if I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

    I'm trying to follow all the tried and true advice like "be yourself" and "just have fun".

    I'll let you all know how the second date goes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2012 9:14 PM GMT
    If everything goes well, give him a chance to chase you. You come on too strong if your texting everyday, if your always initiating conversation, always suggesting to go out. *

    *Recent experience talking. icon_sad.gif
  • unicoman1

    Posts: 822

    Jul 23, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    Um,, it seems like you are taking this rather casual, and at a good pace.. Enjoy the dating! such the best part!
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    Jul 23, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    sound perfect.

    i would love to know a guy was being straight with me, so to speak, right from the off. nothing worse than the how many days to call rules and blah blah blah

    i much prefer honesty, shows strength of character, and conviction.

    hope it works out for you

    x
  • c_d_

    Posts: 17

    Jul 24, 2012 12:00 AM GMT
    i have this same problem. when i'm interested in a guy and we start talking i wonder how often should i txt or try to meet up with him. thats why i think its best to just get his honest opinion of you from the get go to see if the feelings are mutual! that way you won't have to wonder if he is feeling smothered or neglected!
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    Jul 24, 2012 12:06 AM GMT
    I think you did well, I mean "acting cool" results frequently in just loosing interest on both sides because it gets too complicated (pride, hate it). So if you had a great time, why not asking him to see him again that week. Just don't stalk him or call him at 4am with heaving breathing and you'll be fine icon_wink.gif.

    funny-gifs-creep.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    c_d_ saidi have this same problem. when i'm interested in a guy and we start talking i wonder how often should i txt or try to meet up with him. thats why i think its best to just get his honest opinion of you from the get go to see if the feelings are mutual! that way you won't have to wonder if he is feeling smothered or neglected!

    And then asking him makes him feel like he's being interrogated. icon_confused.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2012 3:33 AM GMT
    He didn't say anything about the cheesecake huh??..
    Whatever!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2012 3:45 AM GMT
    Whether or not you're coming on too strong is more about how he feels about you than about what you do.

    For instance, if he thinks you're the hottest thing he's seen in years and you said, "Do you want to have dinner tomorrow and then spend the night at my place?", that would not be taken as coming on too strong. It would be welcome.

    On the other hand, if he's only lukewarm to you, you could say, "Hey let's have coffee sometime this week" and his response might be, "Let's not get too serious too quickly." (i.e. brushing you off).

    You just have to gauge what his response to you is and not worry about whether you're coming on too strong.

    But for the record, from what you wrote, no, I don't think you're coming on too strong.