Considering a selfish phase...

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    Jul 24, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    in all the years of all my dealings, not only have I lost my patience but I have reached what is my beyond my limit. I do know what I want but I no longer care to share it with anyone else. All I know is that I am not the issue. So I've stepped out of the "dating pool", dried off & have considered taking up another course: A selfish phase, I finished school within a week of turning 31, by myself; for the most part (with the exception of having a few family members & those-alike in my corner, cheering me on), I had to realise just how materialistic & shallow guys can be. When I was down & out, they didn't want to be bothered with me & when I had a little paper in my account(s) & kept a decent ride, all of a sudden, they wanted to be all over me like some cheap sluts.
    To me, it has gotten to the point where people do want to meet up, expecting something out of it, which leads me to believe that the process will only become more and more fruitless for me. I don't mind having time to spare and doing nothing with it, but I certainly don't like wasting it on a bunch of gold-diggin', plastic or materialistic guys or guys who are just about no one but themselves. Speaking of which, if I take up this selfish phase, would I become anything like the guys who have b'sed, burned, dissed, dogged, lied to, cheated on me? I mean, there's only hurt if there's feelings & time involved. There is an upside...I don't have to worry about being hurt or heartbroken & since I'm doing bad by myself, I figure, I might as well enjoy the rewards by myself (already gettin' ΒΌ of the way there). I do not have the time to decipher whether a guy is into me for me, as I am or if he's looking to get into my pockets.
    I'm sure some of you will say, "You're too young to be making that kind of decision, give it time. The right guy will come along & love you for you. Not all guys are the same." I have heard it all before & the more I hear it, the more of a headache it gives me. The number of times it takes with guys is enough to count on one hand, literally.

    This is a good beating heart of mine & I am trying to keep it from turning to stone (yes, I do have one) but at the same time, I just refuse to put up with it getting played. Should I go ahead, throw in the towel & consider this phase? (if you cannot read it in any other colour, please do not make the effort to respond)
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    Jul 24, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    I did not get past the part where you wrote you were throwing in the towel. Then I stopped caring, thus, I stopped reading.
    Editing note, throw in the towel at the end of the story, then we would read it and either agree, yes, throwing in the towel makes perfect sense, or maybe we would respectfully disagree, and argue why.
    Until then, so sorry to hear about the towel.
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    Jul 24, 2012 11:25 AM GMT
    I'm sorry, could you have chosen an easier to read color rather than orange on white? Ugh. I could barely make it through your post.
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    Jul 24, 2012 12:22 PM GMT
    TerraFirma saidI'm sorry, could you have chosen an easier to read color rather than orange on white? Ugh. I could barely make it through your post.


    Terra I thought the same thing!

    I looked at the colour and thought - Considering a selfish phase and writing about it in a colour no one can read .

    I guess it's already begun! icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 24, 2012 12:41 PM GMT
    Well, orange happens to be one of my favorite colors. When I took my test, both textbooks were orange, bandana is orange, shoelaces are orange...I figured, if it's not broke, don't try to fix it(:
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    Jul 24, 2012 12:43 PM GMT
    Good luck with this!
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    Jul 24, 2012 12:46 PM GMT
    LetItFlow2012_Remixed saidWell, orange happens to be one of my favorite colors. When I took my test, both textbooks were orange, bandana is orange, shoelaces are orange...I figured, if it's not broke, don't try to fix it(:


    Read our posts = no one can read your writing = no one will read your comments.

    I am sure they're valid and poignant but please change the colour for your sake. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 24, 2012 12:48 PM GMT
    Respond in orange
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    Jul 24, 2012 11:11 PM GMT
    well it certainly sounds like you are pretty stressed about this.

    have you considered that somehting you are doing is attracting these types? or even the manor in which you meet, expensive bars, hotels, the entire internet...in my opinion is a great way to meet some gold diggin losers.

    if not these then maybe it relates to a prior experience, i think you are just mixing in the wrong social circles. maybe mixing with people who earn a little more would make you feel more comfortable, then at least the money grabbing can be put to rest.

    in the case of people just wanting sex, or expecting it as you quite accurately put it. that is just sorting through the shit to find the rose i think. personally i LOVE romance, the traditional, dates and meals and movies. cuddling holding hands the first time, interesting conversations, the excitement about realising you really like someone.

    if i had to choose between, getting laid right away, or having all of these things. then i would get laid, im kidding i would obviously do the latter.

    i think there are many men out there who love romance, but not all of them are as out as maybe the sex hungry, money lovin types you despise. try looking elsewhere.

    good luck anyway
    xx
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    Jul 24, 2012 11:18 PM GMT
    I would suggest some good old fashioned therapy. You just need to let it all out! I think that there are times where EVERY ONE OF US can benefit from some good therapy from a non-judgemental source... friend, stranger, or professional. Good luck to you.
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    Jul 24, 2012 11:39 PM GMT
    So you prefer to be the hammer rather than the nail, the user rather than the one used.

    It's the easy path in life, ever easier than being a victim, It require no talent.



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    Jul 24, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    Hmm..sounds like you created a problem for yourself that you now have to fix... From selfless to selfish in 2.2 seconds..!!

    on the other hand what you are advertising and what you are selling are two different things! (think)

    Ask yourself why are you attracting seedy,greedy soulsuckers..???
    Let me cut to the chase..
    "If you don't spill sugar..Ants won't come"..

    So admit to yourself..you have poor judgement in character when it comes to others...

    You are probably like me..hard for you to be judgemental..but you see in order to protect yourself..you have to have higher standards for your inner circle, in order for people to get close to you you have to have boundaries and barriers...YES!!..Then how else will you know who is who???...

    If you look in the mirror and admit all the problems listed above are your fault..you'll heal faster and move on to be bigger and better !!

    "Why do i keep attracting scum??"
    "What is it about me that pulls greedy, soul-less people out of the woodworks?? "
    keep a very close eye on yourself and you'll find out.

    BTW..You should have been prioritizing yourself all along..
    Take responsibility and get better..Hugz