Feeling really isolated? Or maybe i'm thinking way too much?

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    Jul 24, 2012 2:20 PM GMT
    I hang out with a lot of straight guys (mainly cuz i'm in a fraternity) but even outside of that. I have girl friends but I honestly feel weird hanging around all girls (I have no idea why, but I just feel odd).

    But being around straight guys all the time and all the partying, it's just booze and girls and them trying to get laid most of the time. They'll see a hot girl on the TV and they'll all start talking about her...stuff like that. Meanwhile, i'm just totally feeling left our or somewhat down about it.

    I know all being gay means is that you like guys and not anything else, but I feel like that aspect of myself does drive a wedge between me and my relationships with some people.
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    Jul 24, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    Get yourself some gay friends..icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 24, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidBut being around straight guys all the time and all the partying, it's just booze and girls and them trying to get laid most of the time.

    Find some gay friends and a few months from now your problem will change to:

    But being around gay guys all the time and all the partying, its just booze and boys and them trying to get laid most of the time.
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    Jul 24, 2012 2:50 PM GMT
    Variety, my friend. Variety. And moderation in all things (including moderation).
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    Jul 24, 2012 3:01 PM GMT
    I think it's easy to feel different/isolated when you're a gay male. I do sometimes. Everyone is different though, in reality. It's good to remember that.

    The differences between the people you're describing and yourself seem to center around very superficial things like partying, hooking up, who is viewed as hot, etc... I've found better luck for myself surrounding myself with people who think and talk about other things than that stuff. If those things were all people were allowed to talk about, I'd go crazy.
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    Jul 24, 2012 3:03 PM GMT
    oh, stop it. there's nothing wrong with a bit of superficiality, escapism, and pleasure.

    if everyone sat around thinking deep thoughts all the damn time, life would be one big philosophy 101 class.
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    Jul 24, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    Ha... you're right. But for a person feeling excluded because of that stuff, it would help to be able to talk about stuff that includes them.

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 24, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    It sounds like you have straightpeople fatigue, lol. Are you out to your friends?

    Like others on here have suggested, I think you should make some gay friends. You'll probably find out that people are just people, and there some you bond with and some you don't. That is life.
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    Jul 24, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    Dancerjack- I've gotten to the point where I can talk about hot guys with some of my straight friends, some of whom are guys. It's the opposite of what the OP describes.... but mostly because I choose to talk to people who don't suck.
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Jul 24, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    i have friends who started a chapter of Delta Lambda Phi at McGill University. maybe you should look into starting a chapter at your univeristy
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 24, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidoh, stop it. there's nothing wrong with a bit of superficiality, escapism, and pleasure.

    if everyone sat around thinking deep thoughts all the damn time, life would be one big philosophy 101 class.


    That reminds me of the goddess Tori Amos, who wrote, "So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts / What's so amazing about really deep thoughts? / Boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon / How's THAT thought fot you?"
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    Jul 24, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    I kind of understand what the OP means. I have no gay friends not through lack of trying but there's no gay 'scene' where I live and so meeting guys is difficult - it's either online or not at all.

    I'm joining up to a website that arranges outdoor activity weekends and meetups for gay guys so hopefully (although they'll be spread all over the UK) I'll meet some cool people through it - maybe there's something similar where you live?

    I don't think there is one hard and fast rule for situations like this: I guess it depends on geography and personality and finding what works for you.
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    Jul 24, 2012 5:40 PM GMT
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 24, 2012 5:41 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidGet yourself some gay friends..icon_biggrin.gif


    Bingo
  • kencarson

    Posts: 224

    Jul 24, 2012 5:42 PM GMT
    Try picking up a hobby where you can meet other people with with similar interests.

    Crochet maybe?

    icon_smile.gif