Can you get your BF to top?

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    Aug 08, 2008 10:52 PM GMT
    I have been with my BF for 12 years now and he has only topped me about 4 times. I want to change my sex life and get a nice fuck, but I can not get my BF to join in. What should I do?
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    Aug 08, 2008 11:34 PM GMT
    Well, maybe I'm being daft here, but isn't the obvious solution to ask him why he won't, and talk about it? That always works for any sexual issues my boyfriend and I have.
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    Aug 08, 2008 11:55 PM GMT
    There are many reasons why he wont top. The sensation might not keep him hard or only prostate manipulation gets him off. However, he should give it the college try for you. Use a cock ring if he can't stay hard. And if it is just an unpleasant experience for him, then get a strap on. Seriously. Strap ons are great. You can get nailed for hours without worrying about performance or a chaffed dick.

    But talk to him. Figure out why he doesn't like it. As you are in a long term relationship you both should be willing to make some sexual sacrifices to keep each other hard and happy.
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    Aug 09, 2008 5:06 AM GMT
    Yes talk with the boyfriend about sex life, great idea, while you're at it also have an extensive conversation about where this relationship is going, long term short term goals... plans and perhaps the promises of a future together... security, stability, the wonders of getting into a rut and staying there... monogamy, loving each other forever and how much he means for you and how much you love him...

    the good news is, if he lasts through that horrible discussion, he truly loves you and he will top you more from now on, and if the discussion chases him away, then you're free to find yourself a truely versatile person.

    win win.

    Damn I am good at this stuff.




    PS. Some people are not getting my posts, so I will ruin this one and say: For god's sake people, the grumpy old man thing is an act, it's supposed to be funny. :-) I kid, and I abuse you cause I am showing affection through the abuse. :-)
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    Aug 12, 2008 2:54 AM GMT
    I'm lucky to have a man that loves to top AND bottom just as much as I do. Sometimes we do it all at once. When he likes to be in control, he'll shove a big rubber screw (www.fortroff.com) up my ass, then hoop on my cock and start riding. Love that...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 12, 2008 3:06 AM GMT
    Well with my bf he has always been the top dude, man did get jerked around when he met me.....

    Perhaps he was inspired...
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    Aug 12, 2008 5:13 AM GMT
    I've done both and find it hard to enjoy topping. I did it for 8 months and it was only because I loved him to death. I wouldn't say we were in love, but he was a great guy. Anyways, as was mentioned, the sensation really didn't do it for me. It literally took about and hour or longer for me to get off. Obviously, that can be a plus for some, but the whole time I was wishing I could get HIM to top.

    My advice: Talk to him. It may be sensation, it may be that he resists change, it may be that he doesn't know how much it means as you didn't specify on that subject, OR it could be that he's a selfish lover (as I know I much rather would be on my back than ever top again for the rest of my life - the difference is that I understood that it's not all about me). In either case, if you love each other and its a real need for your relationship stability, it can be worked out. I used tools on numerous occassions to keep things interesting. Getting creative and bringing toys into the picture can be fun. Talk about it and see what can be done. It cant hurt.
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    Aug 12, 2008 11:46 AM GMT
    LutherGooch saidI have been with my BF for 12 years now and he has only topped me about 4 times. I want to change my sex life and get a nice fuck, but I can not get my BF to join in. What should I do?


    Well, if you have been together for 12 years I would say try asking him to bareback if you don't already. Use XMAN or a silicone lube.
    Try a small douche ahead of time, perhaps he's afraid of something nasty happening. And as always, when he is doing it, let him know how good it feels... As everyone has been saying communicate, communicate, communicate...

    Oh yeah that feels good.
    Right there
    Do that again
    Oh yeah... don't stop...

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    Aug 12, 2008 5:53 PM GMT
    or just tie him down and ride him like none other....thats what I did ...he came around.icon_lol.gif