Is it "cheating"?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    If a man with a bf wants to sext with you, would you consider this "cheating"? Or, is this innocent "flirting"? Would you cut your bf's dick off if he sexted with another guy (or girl)?

    Discuss.
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    Jul 26, 2012 2:19 AM GMT

    Sexting?

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    Jul 26, 2012 2:23 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Sexting?



    Talking about sex over IM or text. Talking about what you would like to do with guys or girls in general. Includes, "flirting".
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    Jul 26, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    OK, did the bf know about it? Is it an open or closed relationship? Did they agree that sexting is OK? Or did they decide sexting is not OK and then the sexting took place?

    ...intrigued.

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    Jul 26, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    meninlove said OK, did the bf know about it? Is it an open or closed relationship? Did they agree that sexting is OK? Or did they decide sexting is not OK and then the sexting took place?

    ...intrigued.



    1. No.
    2. Unsure.
    3. No.
    4. No.

    The preponderance of the "No" means the answer to my topic question seems to be "Yes". icon_biggrin.gif

    No? icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 26, 2012 3:46 AM GMT
    lol! I guess you're right. The answer is yes. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 26, 2012 3:55 AM GMT
    It's only cheating if the guy he's sexting with is fugly.
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    Jul 26, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    This forum has me thinking then, My BF made me delete all my hookup site profiles but recently I went on his laptop and he still has those profiles and was sending dirty messages.. He swore he didn't hook up.. I think im too gullible icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jul 26, 2012 4:00 AM GMT
    Buppi saidThis forum has me thinking then, My BF made me delete all my hookup site profiles but recently I went on his laptop and he still has those profiles and was sending dirty messages.. He swore he didn't hook up.. I think im too gullible icon_rolleyes.gif
    That would be an instant GTFO for me.

    I don't tolerate possessiveness and control issues.
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    Jul 26, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    If I sext somebody it means I want to have sex with them! Why isn't the guy sexting his BF?
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    Jul 26, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Buppi saidThis forum has me thinking then, My BF made me delete all my hookup site profiles but recently I went on his laptop and he still has those profiles and was sending dirty messages.. He swore he didn't hook up.. I think im too gullible icon_rolleyes.gif
    That would be an instant GTFO for me.

    I don't tolerate possessiveness and control issues.


    I definitely need to address this issue lol.

    It gets worse..

    I told him I was going out to the bar with my friends, and he shows up later to make sure the guys dont make the smack lol
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    Jul 26, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    Whenever someone asks a question like this, I always replace the important words from their question with murder and death related words.

    "Is it considered murder if your friend kills someone?"

    Yes.
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    Jul 26, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidIf I sext somebody it means I want to have sex with them! Why isn't the guy sexting his BF?


    That was my question as well. I made it clear that I didn't want to be any part of any "breaking agreements". I stated that the person should consider sitting down with the bf and having a conversation about what may be missing from their relationship which is causing the person to reach out and want to text/IM other guys.

    I don't think the person expected a therapy session from me. I think he expected to have phone sext or something.
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    Jul 26, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    Buppi said
    paulflexes said
    Buppi saidThis forum has me thinking then, My BF made me delete all my hookup site profiles but recently I went on his laptop and he still has those profiles and was sending dirty messages.. He swore he didn't hook up.. I think im too gullible icon_rolleyes.gif
    That would be an instant GTFO for me.

    I don't tolerate possessiveness and control issues.


    I definitely need to drop him faster than a ton of molten iron.
    Fixed. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 26, 2012 5:04 AM GMT
    MuchoMasQueMusculo said
    paulflexes said
    Buppi saidThis forum has me thinking then, My BF made me delete all my hookup site profiles but recently I went on his laptop and he still has those profiles and was sending dirty messages.. He swore he didn't hook up.. I think im too gullible icon_rolleyes.gif
    That would be an instant GTFO for me.

    I don't tolerate possessiveness and control issues.


    And hypocritical, let's not forget that.
    I can handle hypocritical on some issues. Hell we all "hate" liars, yet most of us "lied" about our sexuality for years. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 26, 2012 5:06 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidWhenever someone asks a question like this, I always replace the important words from their question with murder and death related words.

    "Is it considered murder if your friend kills someone?"

    Yes.
    No, it's "negligent manslaughter."

    1-2 years with parole.
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    Jul 26, 2012 5:30 AM GMT
    I personally can't accept the truth of him actually cheating.. I guess I am trying to deny the truth.

    I'll just be a lost duck if I did break up with him
  • demasi

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    Jul 26, 2012 7:53 AM GMT
    If my bf and I was monogomous and he was sexting and trying to keep it secret I'd be walking.

    Why? I'm not going to waste any more time with someone who thinks deceptiveness is a good thing to bring into a relationship.
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    Jul 26, 2012 10:36 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidIf a man with a bf wants to sext with you, would you consider this "cheating"? Or, is this innocent "flirting"? Would you cut your bf's dick off if he sexted with another guy (or girl)?

    Discuss.


    a little flirting is perfectly natural and very healthy for ones self esteem imo.

    "sexting" though would be a little too far for me. we are all attracted to other people all the time. however being in a MONOGAMOUS relationship means not acting upon our desires for other men. sex texting and talking dirty to other men, for me, is action.

    i would be quite upset if my partner was doing this. but it wouldnt be enough for me to end it, nothing a good conversation and a hot night together couldnt cure icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 26, 2012 11:00 AM GMT
    why does everyone have a fetish for definitions on here.... sexting is sexting.... I don't know if it's cheating. everyone can decide that for themselves.

    If his boyfriend gets mad about it he probably has reasons for it. I wouldn't get mad if my boyfriend likes sexting.
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    Jul 26, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    lucky_sevn said
    GAMRican saidIf a man with a bf wants to sext with you, would you consider this "cheating"? Or, is this innocent "flirting"? Would you cut your bf's dick off if he sexted with another guy (or girl)?

    Discuss.


    a little flirting is perfectly natural and very healthy for ones self esteem imo.

    "sexting" though would be a little too far for me. we are all attracted to other people all the time. however being in a MONOGAMOUS relationship means not acting upon our desires for other men. sex texting and talking dirty to other men, for me, is action.

    i would be quite upset if my partner was doing this. but it wouldnt be enough for me to end it, nothing a good conversation and a hot night together couldnt cure icon_biggrin.gif


    This is basically what I prescribed to the Sexter.
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    Jul 26, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    I read this as he's the third wheel and not part of the relationship. It's going to be hard to know if it's cheating or not since you can't know for sure what the two guys in the relationship have agreed upon without asking the bf for confirmation.

    My rule of thumb is to not get involved with someone that's dating someone else. Doesn't meet my needs and it can get messy easily. I don't care if they have an open relationship, it's just not worth the hassle/risk to me.
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    Jul 26, 2012 2:52 PM GMT
    If you have to question if he is cheating then it is not good to begin with. I consider sexting way out of bounds. Its not cheating but its opening the door to it.
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    Jul 26, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    smartbart saidwhy does everyone have a fetish for definitions on here.... sexting is sexting.... I don't know if it's cheating. everyone can decide that for themselves.

    If his boyfriend gets mad about it he probably has reasons for it. I wouldn't get mad if my boyfriend likes sexting.
    I agree, it's an individual relationship issue. If guys would talk about these things instead of hiding them, they wouldn't be an issue. I think guys tend to automatically say NO instead of talking about why there seems to be a need. It's the only way to really know the guy you're in a relationship with. Communications and boundaries.

  • Jul 26, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    msuNtx saidIf you have to question if he is cheating then it is not good to begin with. I consider sexting way out of bounds. Its not cheating but its opening the door to it.


    AMEN!

    This particular situation actually happened to me and my bf. Another guy, with a bf of his own, started sexting my bf. My bf, however, did bring it to my attention right away.