I'm really beginning to find my peace with death...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2012 11:43 PM GMT
    My conditions:

    Schizophrenia, Chronic Kidney Disease, Cancer remission, HIV infection, and Alcoholism.

    I think I have reached a point where I was so overwhelmed by what could happen tomorrow that I have been making it a point to just live for the day. I have some smaller diseases that could turn pretty severe at any time and I finally was sitting outside my dentists office today thinking: I can only do my best and that is it.

    I got into a conversation with the taxi driver today about how living a day at a time dispels the fear of dying. He gave me a Ghandi quote that I can't remember now although I remember it was something along the lines of the body only lasts a lifetime but knowledge is eternal and that by taking the time to learn something about this life I will see beyond it someday.

    So maybe I'm just wanting to live forever and psychologically the mind tells me these things so dying won't seem so bad... But I don't believe that is the case. I imagined being told the lights will go out soon and all I could think about was something more is really out there in this universe.

    Whichever way it goes with life and death, I think I am becoming more accepting of death now. I don't mean I want to go today but, I realize my body has already had it's peak of existence and I am slowly getting tired. I remember that other saying about the body not meant to enter it's grave all pretty and preserved but rather all used up... I have done that and it really was a fun ride.

    I thank my Mom and Father for this wonderful journey but I do find my inner workings seems to want to reach out and thank God for this. I mean, I didn't have to do anything to receive this life. I'm really not that afraid of death as I was before... When it's time to sleep it is time to sleep.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2012 12:11 AM GMT
    There is a saying that "life is a journey." You're the only one that will know if your journey is coming to an end. Remember too, that life is ever changing, and there is always something interesting to dwell on daily. Good luck to you, and best wishes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2012 12:23 AM GMT
    Buster57 saidThere is a saying that "life is a journey." You're the only one that will know if your journey is coming to an end. Remember too, that life is ever changing, and there is always something interesting to dwell on daily. Good luck to you, and best wishes.


    Encouraging words... Thank you. We are all in this together! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2012 12:30 AM GMT
    I have to maintain peace with death in order to do my job without freaking out sometimes...like a couple days ago when I had a really close call and almost had to "land" - uhh - away from the airport (won't mention details due to ongoing investigation).

    But I never once got nervous. I just did what had to be done and got the plane on the ground safely.

    Maybe that's where you're at in life. Instead of worrying about what could happen, you just carry on till the "reaper" decides it's time for your "harvest." icon_biggrin.gif

    *hugs*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2012 12:34 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI have to maintain peace with death in order to do my job without freaking out sometimes...like a couple days ago when I had a really close call and almost had to "land" - uhh - away from the airport (won't mention details due to ongoing investigation).

    But I never once got nervous. I just did what had to be done and got the plane on the ground safely.

    Maybe that's where you're at in life. Instead of worrying about what could happen, you just carry on till the "reaper" decides it's time for your "harvest." icon_biggrin.gif

    *hugs*


    Yes that is very true about not worrying about it! That is part of making my peace with it.icon_cool.gif

    BTW, you do know "the reaper" was one of my enemies from surfermag.com's forum who found my name here and made a big joke out of it by pretending to be me on this site. Swear it wasn't me talking about the end of the world, etc. He's over at the surfermag.com forum and goes by the name of "Steak". icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2012 12:43 AM GMT
    Sustenance said
    paulflexes saidI have to maintain peace with death in order to do my job without freaking out sometimes...like a couple days ago when I had a really close call and almost had to "land" - uhh - away from the airport (won't mention details due to ongoing investigation).

    But I never once got nervous. I just did what had to be done and got the plane on the ground safely.

    Maybe that's where you're at in life. Instead of worrying about what could happen, you just carry on till the "reaper" decides it's time for your "harvest." icon_biggrin.gif

    *hugs*


    Yes that is very true about not worrying about it! That is part of making my peace with it.icon_cool.gif

    BTW, you do know "the reaper" was one of my enemies from surfermag.com's forum who found my name here and made a big joke out of it by pretending to be me on this site. Swear it wasn't me talking about the end of the world, etc. He's over at the surfermag.com forum and goes by the name of "Steak". icon_rolleyes.gif
    I haven't had steak is a long time. Thanks for making me hungry. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2012 12:44 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Sustenance said
    paulflexes saidI have to maintain peace with death in order to do my job without freaking out sometimes...like a couple days ago when I had a really close call and almost had to "land" - uhh - away from the airport (won't mention details due to ongoing investigation).

    But I never once got nervous. I just did what had to be done and got the plane on the ground safely.

    Maybe that's where you're at in life. Instead of worrying about what could happen, you just carry on till the "reaper" decides it's time for your "harvest." icon_biggrin.gif

    *hugs*


    Yes that is very true about not worrying about it! That is part of making my peace with it.icon_cool.gif

    BTW, you do know "the reaper" was one of my enemies from surfermag.com's forum who found my name here and made a big joke out of it by pretending to be me on this site. Swear it wasn't me talking about the end of the world, etc. He's over at the surfermag.com forum and goes by the name of "Steak". icon_rolleyes.gif
    I haven't had steak is a long time. Thanks for making me hungry. icon_sad.gif


    Welcome.icon_smile.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 28, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    Whenever I get down about all the problems I have, I look around and notice all the people who are far worse off than I am.

    Chronic homelessness seems like no way to live.
    What makes homeless people go on, instead of killing themselves ?

    Why do people with all manner of diseases and ailments go on ?

    I think it's fine to put suicide on our lists of things to do.
    But, it's a good idea to try everything else, first.

    Concentrate on the things that make you happy.

    Hugs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidWhenever I get down about all the problems I have, I look around and notice all the people who are far worse off than I am.

    Chronic homelessness seems like no way to live.
    What makes homeless people go on, instead of killing themselves ?

    Why do people with all manner of diseases and ailments go on ?

    I think it's fine to put suicide on our lists of things to do.
    But, it's a good idea to try everything else, first.

    Concentrate on the things that make you happy.

    Hugs.


    True. I notice the worst all the time because my being disabled often puts me around those that are disabled as well. I derive so much strength from these people.

    I don't deny the idea of dying is always going to be a sad thing, although my main point is that it is possible to be comfortable with it rather than living in fear. It sort of feels like a moment of clarity where you are fully aware of yourself and your surroundings. I am a part of it and I know I will always be a part of it. I am truly at peace.

    BTW, thanks for the hugs!icon_biggrin.gif