What it is with the majority of gay guys not wanting relationships and being so damn rude!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2012 2:25 AM GMT
    Whether it's on this site or others like grindr, adam4adam or jack'd I can't ever seem to meet a guy that's truly down to earth and respectful and is serious about anything.

    I cant carry on a conversation for more than 30 seconds before I am either ignored or blocked because everyone is so picky and I don't meet their high set standards, or the people that are interested don't want to do anything but hookup and then never see each other again.

    Also, making plans to do something as simple as going to grab a beer seems to be an impossible task

    What's the deal

    (And yes I unlock or send my pics so its not that they don't know what i look like)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    You're young and most guys our age aren't really into the long term steady relationship.

    I didn't want a relationship and wasn't looking for one when one found me. Idk your situation, but maybe focus on being the the best person you can and be happy being you. Also, maybe hit up local LBGTQ groups for more optionss while you are actually doing something fun or to further a cause and what not.
    Confidence is attractive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 12:25 PM GMT
    SSJTrunks saidYou're young and most guys our age aren't really into the long term steady relationship.

    I didn't want a relationship and wasn't looking for one when one found me. Idk your situation, but maybe focus on being the the best person you can and be happy being you. Also, maybe hit up local LBGTQ groups for more optionss while you are actually doing something fun or to further a cause and what not.
    Confidence is attractive.


    Ehh is it though that so many dont want relationships
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 12:38 PM GMT
    Grindr, a4a, and jack'd all seem like their primary purpose is for guys to meet for sex. Maybe I'm wrong, and there are guys using those sites / apps for something deeper.

    Aside from looking for something meaningful in the wrong place, I think your situation might be influenced by how you approach other guys. If you have a conversation with someone and come across as really desperate for a relationship, then I can see how you might get blocked pretty fast.

    I think there are plenty of decent guys out there. Keep trying to be your best, and the right guy will come along.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 12:46 PM GMT
    Guys looking for just sex tend to objectify and treat other men as objects and tools of pleasure as opposed to actual people. Its a disassociation and compartmentalization thing... Don't take it personally..

    Usually they have issues or things they need to work on and it prevents them from getting close to anyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 12:54 PM GMT
    Probably because it's a lot easier to be an ass online than it is in person. People say shit online they would never say in person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 12:58 PM GMT
    SEX is the answer!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 1:11 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 saidWhether it's on this site or others like grindr, adam4adam or jack'd I can't ever seem to meet a guy that's truly down to earth and respectful and is serious about anything.

    I cant carry on a conversation for more than 30 seconds before I am either ignored or blocked because everyone is so picky and I don't meet their high set standards, or the people that are interested don't want to do anything but hookup and then never see each other again.

    Also, making plans to do something as simple as going to grab a beer seems to be an impossible task

    What's the deal

    (And yes I unlock or send my pics so its not that they don't know what i look like)




    Completely agree with you bro. But seems like theres hope on this website. I found out about RJ like a week ago, some really cool people on here so far. Yea theres still some occasional blockheads, but people actually write back here. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 1:16 PM GMT
    I hear ya'.. Most people think online dating is easier , faster but most times ..that is not the case..!
    Patience...icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 1:18 PM GMT
    I hear yea it's all about sex sex sex...icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 1:19 PM GMT
    Dating is tough no matter what. People are picky and messy at times. You just have to put out into the world what you'd like back from it and stay your course.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 1:44 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidDating is tough no matter what. People are picky and messy at times. You just have to put out into the world what you'd like back from it and stay your course.


    +This
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 1:49 PM GMT
    Yeh Im finding it a bit tough these days...thought the coming out bit was gonna be the hard part...seems meeting decent guys is a lot tougher haha!
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Jul 30, 2012 1:52 PM GMT
    yeahim40 saidGrindr, a4a, and jack'd all seem like their primary purpose is for guys to meet for sex. Maybe I'm wrong, and there are guys using those sites / apps for something deeper.

    Aside from looking for something meaningful in the wrong place, I think your situation might be influenced by how you approach other guys. If you have a conversation with someone and come across as really desperate for a relationship, then I can see how you might get blocked pretty fast.

    I think there are plenty of decent guys out there. Keep trying to be your best, and the right guy will come along.


    I agree, I'm sure the majority of the people who use those sites are looking to "hit it and quit it"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 1:58 PM GMT
    Most men just seem to think with the flesh and not with the heart these days.

    No offense, but if you are on sites like Grinder, A4A, manhunt, and jack'd then you are seriously barking up the wrong tree for something meaningful and worthwhile like a relationship. I'm not saying you can't find what you seek there. I am, however, saying the odds of you finding that special someone are extremely low and it's like you searching for a bead in a pebble field.

    All I can say is stay true to you and keep your standards. Just make sure that whatever your standards are they are something that you mirror yourself after. No sense setting the bar so high that you can't jump it if you know what I mean.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 saidWhether it's on this site or others like grindr, adam4adam or jack'd I can't ever seem to meet a guy that's truly down to earth and respectful and is serious about anything.

    I cant carry on a conversation for more than 30 seconds before I am either ignored or blocked because everyone is so picky and I don't meet their high set standards, or the people that are interested don't want to do anything but hookup and then never see each other again.

    Also, making plans to do something as simple as going to grab a beer seems to be an impossible task

    What's the deal

    (And yes I unlock or send my pics so its not that they don't know what i look like)



    I definitely agree with you! RJ is a lot better it seems but there's still plenty of ppl on here who flake out on meeting and just want to j/o with you on cam and that's it. It's just the nature of meeting random ppl online. People feel that the internet gives them free license to be tools. Just forget about it and move on.

    Once I move out of my parents' house, I'm going to cut down on using this site as well and just try to meet guys in real life. (I've never used Grindr or any other app just b/c I don't have a smartphone.) If you can, I'd say just put yourself out there and cut down on using online sites and apps. A lot of ppl just want to get off in the easiest way possible and don't even want to meet up unless you are some pornstar demigod.

    The problem with these online sites and apps is that ppl get to nitpick you down to every detail instead of viewing you as a whole package/person, which is what would happen if they met you in real life. Now they go down their list like correct ethnicity, correct height, correct weight, etc. There are so many intangible factors and chemistry that come into play that cannot be displayed on an RJ profile...
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Jul 30, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    I don't like dating mostly because I have dated men a d it's a losing proposition. It makes no sense to attempt it.
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Jul 30, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    Try meeting guys through friends. Meeting people online is so unnatural. There's so much awkwardness. It's hard to get a good idea of who you're talking to when they can easily lie about who they are and what not. If you meet somebody through a friend then at least you know they didn't use old or bogus pics LOL.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidMost men just seem to think with the flesh and not with the heart these days.

    No offense, but if you are on sites like Grinder, A4A, manhunt, and jack'd then you are seriously barking up the wrong tree for something meaningful and worthwhile like a relationship. I'm not saying you can't find what you seek there. I am, however, saying the odds of you finding that special someone are extremely low and it's like you searching for a bead in a pebble field.

    All I can say is stay true to you and keep your standards. Just make sure that whatever your standards are they are something that you mirror yourself after. No sense setting the bar so high that you can't jump it if you know what I mean.


    Well I agree and disagree with this.

    I agree that grindr a4a MH and places for a qucikie that you'll never see again or, if you're lucky, a places to meet FWB.

    I can hold true to my standards but then what if I have wasted all this time....waiting for him to appear?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2012 8:18 PM GMT
    Hapuna said
    Guy101 saidMost men just seem to think with the flesh and not with the heart these days.

    No offense, but if you are on sites like Grinder, A4A, manhunt, and jack'd then you are seriously barking up the wrong tree for something meaningful and worthwhile like a relationship. I'm not saying you can't find what you seek there. I am, however, saying the odds of you finding that special someone are extremely low and it's like you searching for a bead in a pebble field.

    All I can say is stay true to you and keep your standards. Just make sure that whatever your standards are they are something that you mirror yourself after. No sense setting the bar so high that you can't jump it if you know what I mean.


    Well I agree and disagree with this.

    I agree that grindr a4a MH and places for a qucikie that you'll never see again or, if you're lucky, a places to meet FWB.

    I can hold true to my standards but then what if I have wasted all this time....waiting for him to appear?


    Well I suppose that all depends on what you consider a waste?
    Everything is trial and error as far living goes and if you didn't learn anything from your triumphs and or failures then, yeah, I guess it would be a waste of time at your expense.

    If you feel like you've wasted your time waiting for someone then you'll have to reflect back and check on your standards and yourself and you will have to ask yourself if they were a bit too high. You would be surprised how many men in general do this. The Standard Bar is set so high that they can't even reach it and by the time they realize this they have ,in fact, wasted their time because when a good opportunity came by they literally let it pass or dismissed it without a second thought.

    9x out of a 10 if a person is single it's usually by their own design. I daresay it's their own fault especially if they are constantly complaining about being single and claiming they can't find someone. When I hear that I think one of two things. Either their standards are too high meaning they are extremely picky or they just aren't looking and expect dudes to hit them up. Not gonna happen if you don't forth some effort.

    You have a few dudes who are fine with the single route who never complain and just let things flow naturally. If something/someone catches their eye, they go for if and play it out but other then that they tend to keep themselves occupied with work, friends, family and social activities. In my opinion, those are the best kind of guys. They're the ones who don't give a fuck about being single because when they do find someone they tend to be loyal and put 150%into the relationship (however you want to define it).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2012 1:04 PM GMT
    Skillz575 said
    CollegeDude27 saidWhether it's on this site or others like grindr, adam4adam or jack'd I can't ever seem to meet a guy that's truly down to earth and respectful and is serious about anything.

    I cant carry on a conversation for more than 30 seconds before I am either ignored or blocked because everyone is so picky and I don't meet their high set standards, or the people that are interested don't want to do anything but hookup and then never see each other again.

    Also, making plans to do something as simple as going to grab a beer seems to be an impossible task

    What's the deal

    (And yes I unlock or send my pics so its not that they don't know what i look like)




    Completely agree with you bro. But seems like theres hope on this website. I found out about RJ like a week ago, some really cool people on here so far. Yea theres still some occasional blockheads, but people actually write back here. icon_smile.gif

    I appreciate the response... Although I havent had much luck on here either lol
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Jul 31, 2012 1:09 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 said
    Skillz575 said
    CollegeDude27 saidWhether it's on this site or others like grindr, adam4adam or jack'd I can't ever seem to meet a guy that's truly down to earth and respectful and is serious about anything.

    I cant carry on a conversation for more than 30 seconds before I am either ignored or blocked because everyone is so picky and I don't meet their high set standards, or the people that are interested don't want to do anything but hookup and then never see each other again.

    Also, making plans to do something as simple as going to grab a beer seems to be an impossible task

    What's the deal

    (And yes I unlock or send my pics so its not that they don't know what i look like)




    Completely agree with you bro. But seems like theres hope on this website. I found out about RJ like a week ago, some really cool people on here so far. Yea theres still some occasional blockheads, but people actually write back here. icon_smile.gif

    I appreciate the response... Although I havent had much luck on here either lol
    Maybe you wanna consider adding more context to your profile... Perhaps some public pictures and maybe verify if you care to. I personally don't suggest adult pics. I think it sends a bad message. If you're a supa freak that's fine. No need to broadcast it to the world though lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    Get away from those websites, A4A, MANHUNT, GRINDR, .....

    I've used those websites, and had some fun.
    It's not really fulfilling.
    But usually people from there won't take you seriously,
    especially if you have sex with them on the first date.

    About 1 month ago, I met some cute guy from Grindr.
    We had some chatting and exchanged phone number.
    I suggested him not to have sex on our first date.
    Then I never heard from him again.

    Now I've deleted all those hookup accounts.

    Try this website: www.okcupid.com
    Full of relationship oriented people.
    You would be amazed how many of us are going through the same problems that you have.

    And this one: www.meetup.com
    Tons of LGBT interest groups in NYC.
    Danbury is not too far from NYC.

    There are LGBT centers in White Plains and New Heaven.
    I think they will help you, though I've never been there.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2012 2:47 PM GMT
    The primary purpose of the internets is sex. Try going out and about in real life and let life take over.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 31, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    If they're so damn rude, then you dodged a bullet by not ending up in a relationship with them.icon_wink.gif