Bald gay guys in your 20's - Please tell me my dating life isn't over :(

  • Tman24

    Posts: 3

    Jul 29, 2012 6:00 PM GMT
    Long-story short: I started balding in my late teens and having reached the ripe old age of 24, it looked horrible (like half my hair was gone), so I just said F-it and shaved it off.

    Here is the thing, I rarely ever see bald guys in their 20s and feel like the black sheep in the gay community. I feel older than I am, that no one will want to be with me, and you never hear of a popular gay celebrity around my age who's also bald. They all have amazing hair and I think to myself that life can be so bullshit at times.

    Also I know people will tell me "oh there's someone for you!" or "guys don't care about hair they care about confidence!" but deep down that's bullshit and we all know it. Guys judge on appearance and it's a fact. I know older gay guys (who started losing their looks) kind of go through the same thing, but I'm 24 right now and it bothers me. Most guys just aren't attracted to bald guys, myself included! Not on purpose, it's just I prefer hair, and most guys do too.

    The reason I ask this here is because I'm looking for someone who's been in my position or a similar position and can be a success story for me. Were you balding, shaved your head, and ended up in many great relationships....especially in your 20's? Whenever I've had problems like this in life I always look to people who've been there/done that, but with this problem I can't find anyone and it frustrates me to tears at times.
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    Jul 29, 2012 6:07 PM GMT
    Are you kidding me? Bald guys are absolutely great! Don't sweat the little thing, man. There are people who won't be attracted to you and people who will no matter what. I've never been in your position but I'm sure you have nothing to worry about icon_smile.gif
  • jeremylk7

    Posts: 91

    Jul 29, 2012 6:12 PM GMT
    Hello, I just turned 25 and I am going through a very similar situation. I used to have longer thick hair and always got compliments on it. Then genetics set in and I started thinning and receding.

    I eventually buzzed it all off down to a 0. I was shocked at how I looked because I was so used to seeing myself with hair. To be honest I like the way I look better in some aspects and some not so good. I like that I don't have to worry about it thinning anymore and I took control of it by buzzing it off.


    I too however feel sometimes like the black sheep out of my gay friends that are young. I used to be the guy who always got hit on in clubs more than the majority of people I knew. However now I notice my friends get hit on more often than I do. Don't get me wrong I still get hit on but not nearly as much as I did. I figure its because some people really just are not attracted to bald/very short haired guys, I try not to take it personally.

    I do have a beautiful boyfriend who likes it and he supports me. However I still sometimes get insecure about it. I can't imagine anyone our age that is gay not getting insecure about it to some extent.

    What I recommend you do: possibly look into getting therapy to help rebuild your confidence. Start hanging out with people who are supportive of it/ are bald themselves.

    Most people don't realize how devastating it can be to lose your hair in your 20s. I hope science in the near future can stop and reverse this from happening. We should have a choice to have hair or not. New research is being done so stay optimistic.
  • jeremylk7

    Posts: 91

    Jul 29, 2012 6:16 PM GMT
    Obscure saidHave tried getting tested for any health issues such as prostate, etc problems? It is never natural to bald at a young age unless you have some serious condition brewing in your body.


    Ignore this. There is no research that says balding at a young age is not natural. It depends on the type of balding. But male pattern baldness does happen in 20% of people in their 20s.
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    Jul 29, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    Bald is so much better...no bed head, no hat hair, no wind whip, no products, no haircut fuck-ups...and when the light's right, you can send messages. /flipping hand in front of forehead/

    Three things:

    1) To whom you matter, it won't matter. Fuck the rest if they can't take a joke.

    2) Realize that when you meet someone new, he won't know you looking any other way. As you look now will be you to him. He won't miss the hair. You're upset only cuz you knew you with hair.

    3) Notice all the handsome bald guys.

    Bald is beautiful.
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    Jul 29, 2012 6:27 PM GMT
    I wouldn't worry about it. A shaved/bald head is much more appealing than a guy trying to cover his baldness with "creative" hair styles.
  • jeremylk7

    Posts: 91

    Jul 29, 2012 6:37 PM GMT
    Obscure said
    jeremylk7 said
    Obscure saidHave tried getting tested for any health issues such as prostate, etc problems? It is never natural to bald at a young age unless you have some serious condition brewing in your body.


    Ignore this. There is no research that says balding at a young age is not natural. It depends on the type of balding. But male pattern baldness does happen in 20% of people in their 20s.


    It does but so do health issues that can attach itself later in life. Issues of the heart, thyroid or prostate are typically genetic. These issues can manifest itself in balding or hair loss.

    There is also something called Alopecia Areata. It IS not normal to start losing hair as a teenager.



    Cite a source please that says losing hair in your 20s is not normal.
  • jeremylk7

    Posts: 91

    Jul 29, 2012 6:58 PM GMT
    These articles do not talk about typical male pattern baldness. Also were not talking about children here. I do think if a child is losing their hair they should definitely have it checked out.


    I did find some studies on guys balding in there 20s possibly having a greater chance of developing prostate cancer. This is because it is believed that DHT is what causing hairloss, its also believed to be the cause of enlargement of prostates.

    However I felt you were pointing to the fact that because you are balding in your 20s its because there is something medically wrong with you. However I'm not trying to derail the thread. I'm not saying he shouldn't be check by a doctor but I am saying he shouldn't think there is something wrong just because hes balding.
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    Jul 29, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    I think shaved heads have become pretty fashionable. Thank god, I'm not really balding, but I dont have the best natural hairline either.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 29, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    Caslon20000 saidBald is so much better...no bed head, no hat hair, no wind whip, no products, no haircut fuck-ups...and when the light's right, you can send messages. /flipping hand in front of forehead/

    Three things:

    1) To whom you matter, it won't matter. Fuck the rest if they can't take a joke.

    2) Realize that when you meet someone new, he won't know you looking any other way. As you look now will be you to him. He won't miss the hair. You're upset only cuz you knew you with hair.

    3) Notice all the handsome bald guys.

    Bald is beautiful.


    Well said!

    Tons of guys pull it off and look great, especially if you don't let it bother you and focus on things like being healthy and working out. When it comes down to it, the guy you're with is going to love you for who you are as a person. (:
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    Jul 29, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    Beefy bald guys = Sexy

    I don't think skinny bald guys look that great.
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    Jul 29, 2012 8:54 PM GMT
    Dude..Bald is sexy..i have a full head of hair and i buzz every two days..Bald is "Bad Ass" yeah baby !!
    ..OP ever been T-Bagged.??
    WHAT NO..???!!! icon_eek.gif
    Much better when your'e bald..
    Wait till you start finding out all the pros to being buzzed..
    Cheer up Hugz
    (100 bux saids this guy has a 13 inch penis)
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    Jul 29, 2012 9:36 PM GMT
    People who judge bald heads have obviously never had one crammed up the crack of their ass.

    YUM.
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    Jul 29, 2012 10:07 PM GMT
    Nothing wrong with being bald!

    People say I'm "blessed" with having thick hair... but to be honest, all it does is curl and tickle inside my ears, takes long time to style, and it gets extremly hot on the summer.

    Seriously thinking on joining the bald club.
  • Tman24

    Posts: 3

    Jul 29, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    jeremylk7 saidHello, I just turned 25 and I am going through a very similar situation. I used to have longer thick hair and always got compliments on it. Then genetics set in and I started thinning and receding.

    I eventually buzzed it all off down to a 0. I was shocked at how I looked because I was so used to seeing myself with hair. To be honest I like the way I look better in some aspects and some not so good. I like that I don't have to worry about it thinning anymore and I took control of it by buzzing it off.


    I too however feel sometimes like the black sheep out of my gay friends that are young. I used to be the guy who always got hit on in clubs more than the majority of people I knew. However now I notice my friends get hit on more often than I do. Don't get me wrong I still get hit on but not nearly as much as I did. I figure its because some people really just are not attracted to bald/very short haired guys, I try not to take it personally.

    I do have a beautiful boyfriend who likes it and he supports me. However I still sometimes get insecure about it. I can't imagine anyone our age that is gay not getting insecure about it to some extent.

    What I recommend you do: possibly look into getting therapy to help rebuild your confidence. Start hanging out with people who are supportive of it/ are bald themselves.

    Most people don't realize how devastating it can be to lose your hair in your 20s. I hope science in the near future can stop and reverse this from happening. We should have a choice to have hair or not. New research is being done so stay optimistic.


    How have you built your confidence? Also, when you say your friends get hit on more than you, how much more often, it's okay you can be honest I just want to know.

    Is there anything else you do to help yourself when you get insecure about it, or do you just go through the emotions? Like you, I get insecure, but for me it's almost all the time icon_sad.gif
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    Jul 29, 2012 10:38 PM GMT
    um who told you that people arent attracted to bald guys?

    i really dislike styled gay hair, much prefer bald every time, even so far as i convinced my bf to shave his head because i prefer it, lol. he used to have a bit of a no-fro going on. not goodicon_rolleyes.gif

    but hes all cured now icon_biggrin.gif
  • Kyboy270

    Posts: 30

    Jul 29, 2012 11:18 PM GMT
    I started losing my hair at 23, took propecia for a couple years which worked great, but then accepted the inevitable baldness and stopped taking it.

    Lets be honest, not having what you once had DOES suck. When i stopped the meds I was in a relationship which made it easier. But after that was over and i was still balding, i just stepped everything else up a notch. I took more care in what I wore and how i looked. I went to the gym and built some muscle. Freshly buzzed or shaved head looks more well groomed than horseshoe-hair or a grown out buzz, so i made sure my head looked like it was receiving regular attention, balding or not. I experimented with facial hair to create a new look that complimented my new head. And after all that, when it's obvious that you put an effort into looking your best and you can feel good about it, it's up to you to sell yourself with a confident smile and your unique personality. Some guys are never going to look past your head, so just accept it and welcome those who do.

    One more thing, remember that the people who are out in clubs etc are the ones who feel good enough to put themselves out there in that harshly superficial environment to be judged. They are not representative of the gay community as a whole. If you are in your 20's, try hanging with guys in their 30's. You will be the center of attention.

    Take care of yourself, man. You'll make it ;)
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    Jul 29, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    Kyboy270 saidI started losing my hair at 23, took propecia for a couple years which worked great, but then accepted the inevitable baldness and stopped taking it.

    Lets be honest, not having what you once had DOES suck. When i stopped the meds I was in a relationship which made it easier. But after that was over and i was still balding, i just stepped everything else up a notch. I took more care in what I wore and how i looked. I went to the gym and built some muscle. Freshly buzzed or shaved head looks more well groomed than horseshoe-hair or a grown out buzz, so i made sure my head looked like it was receiving regular attention, balding or not. I experimented with facial hair to create a new look that complimented my new head. And after all that, when it's obvious that you put an effort into looking your best and you can feel good about it, it's up to you to sell yourself with a confident smile and your unique personality. Some guys are never going to look past your head, so just accept it and welcome those who do.

    One more thing, remember that the people who are out in clubs etc are the ones who feel good enough to put themselves out there in that harshly superficial environment to be judged. They are not representative of the gay community as a whole. If you are in your 20's, try hanging with guys in their 30's. You will be the center of attention.

    Take care of yourself, man. You'll make it ;)

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    flawless peice of advice and observation
  • jeremylk7

    Posts: 91

    Jul 30, 2012 1:03 AM GMT
    Tman24 said
    jeremylk7 saidHello, I just turned 25 and I am going through a very similar situation. I used to have longer thick hair and always got compliments on it. Then genetics set in and I started thinning and receding.

    I eventually buzzed it all off down to a 0. I was shocked at how I looked because I was so used to seeing myself with hair. To be honest I like the way I look better in some aspects and some not so good. I like that I don't have to worry about it thinning anymore and I took control of it by buzzing it off.


    I too however feel sometimes like the black sheep out of my gay friends that are young. I used to be the guy who always got hit on in clubs more than the majority of people I knew. However now I notice my friends get hit on more often than I do. Don't get me wrong I still get hit on but not nearly as much as I did. I figure its because some people really just are not attracted to bald/very short haired guys, I try not to take it personally.

    I do have a beautiful boyfriend who likes it and he supports me. However I still sometimes get insecure about it. I can't imagine anyone our age that is gay not getting insecure about it to some extent.

    What I recommend you do: possibly look into getting therapy to help rebuild your confidence. Start hanging out with people who are supportive of it/ are bald themselves.

    Most people don't realize how devastating it can be to lose your hair in your 20s. I hope science in the near future can stop and reverse this from happening. We should have a choice to have hair or not. New research is being done so stay optimistic.


    How have you built your confidence? Also, when you say your friends get hit on more than you, how much more often, it's okay you can be honest I just want to know.

    Is there anything else you do to help yourself when you get insecure about it, or do you just go through the emotions? Like you, I get insecure, but for me it's almost all the time icon_sad.gif



    I started building up my confidence by lifting more. I started to look at other features that made me attractive. Honestly buzzing my head brought out certain features more, that my hair distracted from.


    As far as my friends getting hit on more. I think its by guys who go for stereotypical young gays. They always get hit on by guys I'm not attracted to anyway so it doesn't really matter to me. In fact now that I think of it. I get hit on less but its almost always by someone more attractive than I used to get.

    I didn't find my beautiful boyfriend until after I was bald, so I know my balding can't look at that bad.

    However I think a great deal of the insecurity comes from within, seeing yourself as though you lost something that affected the way your face looks. This was out of your control, so honestly it makes sense it can be traumatic.

    Don't forget the power of how you project yourself. If you project yourself confidently it will be hard for others to write you off. I am not going to lie though I still struggle. It's only human.


    Also I do think Kyboy270 has some good words of wisdom.
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    Jul 30, 2012 2:50 PM GMT
    I dated a bald guy for a year and a half---and since dating him I've been totally turned on to bald guys. You're fine!
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    Jul 30, 2012 3:00 PM GMT
    Hot bald guys are hot.

    Even hotter with a beard/stubble, and chest hair! WOOF yes please :p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    I started losing mine in my early 20's and used to be very self conscious about it... It wasn't til my late 20's that I decided to own it and be the best bald guy I can be. Its all about confidence - just rock it out and ignore the haters. I do pretty well with young and old on the dating scene. You'll be fine! (:
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    Jul 30, 2012 4:17 PM GMT
    It used to be only Yul Brynner and Telly Savalas shaved their heads while every other balding man had a fringe of hair or a combover. Now a shaved head's the new normal. If you really want to be superficial about it pair a shaved head with muscles and a tan. Or you can both play it up and distract from it with piercings and tats. Bald is what you make of it.
  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Jul 31, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    Oh man! I love a clean shaven head. It's sexy as hell. Don't fret it. I think you'll be surprised at how much attention you get.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Aug 02, 2012 4:12 AM GMT

    I find bald guys sexy, and I'm somebody who is really into his own hair LOL I'd prefer a guy with less great hair because I don't want him to steal my thunder hehehe