Finding someone without the venue of "gay culture" would be impossible. We need our events, bars, clubs, websites, etc.
I completely agree. That is why gay neighborhoods are really important, too. I currently live in suburbia, and it can get a little boring around here.
I lived my 20s and part of my 30s in Seattle, in the Broadway area of Capitol Hill. It was fantastic to just be out living your regular daily life, run into friends, and flirt openly at the grocery store. The problem with this is that these neighborhoods tend to cater to people in their 20s and 30s, so the minute you turn 40 you become invisible to MOST of those guys. I'm glad I lived it up when I did.
Another, perhaps more important aspect, to gay culture is the gay studies milieu. I have found that incredible scholarship is taking place as we speak in unlocking gay history, studying the boundaries and definitions of sexuality, and exploring gay sensibilities within non-white race and cultural groups. I've been reading more and more on these topics, and I find it fascinating how many of our great authors either were gay or went through a period of bisexuality in their youths.
We are also living in a time when gay authors are gaining mainstream recognition, but are not sidelining the gay content of their work: Alan Hollinghurst, André Aciman, and Armistead Maupin are receiving critical praise not only from gay publications, but from the mainstream literary presses, as well. I would call THAT gay culture.