Married man leaves hotel key card as tip

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    So as a part-time server at BJ's Brewhouse here in Austin, it's rare that I'll receive sexual advances from guests. Maybe a number every now and then, but nothing too serious. Yesterday, I was serving a party of two midsize families with young children and the two fathers split the check down the middle. Upon picking up the signed slips (while they were still there), I realized one had slipped in a hotel room key card into the checkbook with a room # on the back of the receipt. (I've gone over it in my head time and time again, and there's no way he could have accidentally slipped it in there.) I was pretty flustered and not really knowing what to do, I decided to bring the key card back to the table and he quickly grabbed it and put it in his pocket.

    I'm not only disgusted that a married man would make such a "under the table" offer but while his wife and children are two feet away is beyond fucked up. And while I realize this, I've still found myself struggling with my decision to bring the card back for his wife and family friends to see. Had they caught on, and I was the cause of a broken up family and ruined marriage, I would feel terrible.

    My reason for posting this is that my mind is all over the place. And while this may seem like a petty situation that I'm probably blowing out of proportion, I still find myself struggling with the possible unfortunate outcomes. Has anything like this happened to anyone else? Should I have just thrown the card away or was everyone better off in the long-run, possibly knowing of his sexual advances?
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    Jul 30, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    Just decline the invitation...by throwing the key away. No need to make a scene. You don't know the circumstances.
  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Jul 30, 2012 5:47 PM GMT
    It is never cool or appropriate to be hit on by a married man or women especially in the presence of their spouse. How do you know the guy was not divorced and just having a family outing- that is why it is always best to just ignore the advance. Also, you would not be the reason why a family split in the event that you did make a scene.
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    Jul 30, 2012 5:47 PM GMT
    Well, if all there was to it is a keycard and a room number, I am not connecting any dots here. If he didn't say anything to you (and it doesn't sound like he did), how would you have known when to show up to his room? Were you supposed to risk barging in when his wife was there?

    I have a hard time believing this was a sexual advance, unless there was some other form of communication going on. On the plus side, if I have a hard time believing it, so will his family and friends, who will just think he left the room key with the credit card.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 30, 2012 5:55 PM GMT
    I don't ever see the point in trying to purposely humiliate people. Some guys have it difficult enough. I'm not going to be the judge of them. They'll deal with it in their own time, I'm certainly not going to be the one to push them over the edge and cause them to commit suicide over some slight indiscretion. Also, like the previous stated ... it could have just been a mind slip ... I've had mind slips where I accidentally hand somebody something I hadn't intended to. I think you're being a bit melodramatic and an alarmist. God help you if ever you make a mistake and someone call you on it and accuse you of something you didn't intend it to be.
  • TallguyNLA

    Posts: 440

    Jul 30, 2012 6:11 PM GMT
    I work in a resort, and stuff like this happens all the time.... I used to think it was an "under the table" type of thing, but not so much anymore. Its almost like people really dont think when they are on vacation. The younger clientele will order drinks and claim not to have their wallets, or any reasonable form of I.D. and in some instances, they will pull out every card they have, EXCEPT their credit card to pay they're bill. I think this was a pretty common mistake, dont read too much into it. He probably didnt realize he gave you the key card.icon_redface.gif
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    Jul 30, 2012 6:20 PM GMT
    Well, BJ's is part of the restaurant name. Maybe he thought it was on the menu.
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    Jul 30, 2012 6:24 PM GMT
    Without talking with you or making a pass, just leaving his cardkey and room number means nothing. He could not have expected you to just come up to his room without making a time arrangement. How would you have known when to go up? How would he have known when to get the wife out of the room for several hours - so she wouldn't return unexpected?

    I think he may have been wanting to put his restaurant tab on his account. Club members and hotel guests routinely put their restaurant tabs on their account - and by giving you that card and room number - this might have been just what he had in mind. The other scenario makes no sense without a conversation or note to you - suggesting a time to meet.
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    Jul 30, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    Much ado about nothing. Did the guy drink anything? Maybe he got a little mixed up with his cards, or thought he could charge to his room, if this brewhouse is located on the hotel's grounds.

    How would he explain not being able to open the door when they got back to their family room? Sure, the wife may have had another key card, but normally the husband opens the door.

    And how was the OP supposed to know when to walk in, using the key? Was there also a time written on the key?

    And even if the drill was supposed to be to knock on the door, see who answered, and if the wife was there, pretend to be returning the lost key, the husband didn't explain that. Or again, indicate the best time to knock on the door.

    No, this doesn't sound like a set-up, just a simple mistake.
  • doomafidget

    Posts: 12

    Jul 30, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    Not that I'm an expert on the subject, but I think I agree with JockBod. It's possible that he just wanted to put a tab on his account.

    Or, he possibly pulled out the wrong card.
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    Jul 30, 2012 6:34 PM GMT
    I guess I wasn't clear in that him and the other guy had already paid. I returned their cards and slips in two separate books for them to fill out. It's when I picked them back up to enter the tip that I saw the key card (he had taken his credit card out).

    But yeah, now I'm seeing it would have been difficult to orchestrate a time to "meet-up" without having talked to me.

    I guess I'm just overanalyzing the situation.
  • RichLather

    Posts: 73

    Jul 30, 2012 6:37 PM GMT
    I love BJ's (no more pizookie for me though) and you are a cutie.

    I would leave you my room key any time!
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    Jul 30, 2012 6:40 PM GMT
    ATX21ML saidI guess I wasn't clear in that him and the other guy had already paid. I returned their cards and slips in two separate books for them to fill out. It's when I picked them back up to enter the tip that I saw the key card (he had taken his credit card out).

    But yeah, now I'm seeing it would have been difficult to orchestrate a time to "meet-up" without having talked to me.

    I guess I'm just overanalyzing the situation.


    Sounds like he wanted you to charge it to his room. How would he know you were gay?
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    Jul 30, 2012 6:41 PM GMT
    Iceblink saidWell, BJ's is part of the restaurant name. Maybe he thought it was on the menu.


    LMFAO...!!!..

    So how would that work..??..Isn't he with his family..?? Are they in separate rooms..??..Did he mean for you to charge it to the room..??..Is this a mistake on your part..??
    Lets say you were as skany and as balsy as i am..You put your good dentures in ..some nice combat boots..and the tightest pair of Abercrombie you could shoplift....then....you go up to the room..??
    Wouldn't his family be there..??
    I dunno !..I should stop taking mondays off
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 6:53 PM GMT
    ATX21ML saidI guess I wasn't clear in that him and the other guy had already paid. I returned their cards and slips in two separate books for them to fill out. It's when I picked them back up to enter the tip that I saw the key card (he had taken his credit card out).

    But yeah, now I'm seeing it would have been difficult to orchestrate a time to "meet-up" without having talked to me.

    I guess I'm just overanalyzing the situation.


    You were clear as to payment when you said: "Upon picking up the signed slips (while they were still there), I realized one had slipped in a hotel room key card into the checkbook with a room # on the back of the receipt."

    Many here are so wrapped up in their own heads that they never get to see what they read and then they project what they think you said, instead of what you actually said, onto you as if it is something you said when you didn't, a fairly frequent theme here.

    Caslon's original response was completely correct both in respect to discretion and particularly where he said "you don't know the circumstances."

    Your reaction with the limited experience of your age and given the awkwardness and uncertainty of the situation is not a big deal. Live and learn.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 6:57 PM GMT
    I haven't had a married man come onto me in front of his family, no... I have, however, had an engaged (to a woman) man who I'd been friends with for about 4 or 5 years at the time, come out to me and continuously hit me up for sex... not an easy situation to be in that's for sure.
    You're lucky this guy is not in your life! Be happy about that at least icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 30, 2012 7:27 PM GMT
    ATX21ML saidI guess I wasn't clear in that him and the other guy had already paid. I returned their cards and slips in two separate books for them to fill out. It's when I picked them back up to enter the tip that I saw the key card (he had taken his credit card out).

    But yeah, now I'm seeing it would have been difficult to orchestrate a time to "meet-up" without having talked to me.

    I guess I'm just overanalyzing the situation.



    Here's more food for thought: Maybe he and his wife wanted a threesome. VERY possible in this day and age and I've seen that happen quite often. Especially since it would have been pretty brazen of him to attempt the sneaking of the card into the bill wallet in front of everyone like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 8:29 PM GMT
    You should have set it back on the table towards him asking if anyone dropped. His wife and children deserve MUCH better.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jul 30, 2012 8:33 PM GMT
    ATX21ML saidSo as a part-time server at BJ's Brewhouse here in Austin, it's rare that I'll receive sexual advances from guests. Maybe a number every now and then, but nothing too serious. Yesterday, I was serving a party of two midsize families with young children and the two fathers split the check down the middle. Upon picking up the signed slips (while they were still there), I realized one had slipped in a hotel room key card into the checkbook with a room # on the back of the receipt. (I've gone over it in my head time and time again, and there's no way he could have accidentally slipped it in there.) I was pretty flustered and not really knowing what to do, I decided to bring the key card back to the table and he quickly grabbed it and put it in his pocket.

    I'm not only disgusted that a married man would make such a "under the table" offer but while his wife and children are two feet away is beyond fucked up. And while I realize this, I've still found myself struggling with my decision to bring the card back for his wife and family friends to see. Had they caught on, and I was the cause of a broken up family and ruined marriage, I would feel terrible.

    My reason for posting this is that my mind is all over the place. And while this may seem like a petty situation that I'm probably blowing out of proportion, I still find myself struggling with the possible unfortunate outcomes. Has anything like this happened to anyone else? Should I have just thrown the card away or was everyone better off in the long-run, possibly knowing of his sexual advances?


    dude, take it as a compliment. He obviously was willing to risk his marriage, his family, his life......all for you, baby.

    HOT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 8:33 PM GMT
    gross.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    old people have zero game...
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    Jul 30, 2012 8:38 PM GMT
    ChangeofName saidold people have zero game...


    as opposed to you....who's got all the fuckin game in the world and spits game and gets all the hotties...awwww yeah bro you're HOT!!!!! smmmmmmokin hot, fuck yeah, I'm gettin hard just lookin at u
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    Jul 30, 2012 8:38 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidSure, the wife may have had another key card, but normally the husband opens the door.
    LOL WHAT THE FUCK how did you come to this conclusion?
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    Jul 30, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    Import said
    ChangeofName saidold people have zero game...


    as opposed to you....who's got all the fuckin game in the world and spits game and gets all the hotties...awwww yeah bro you're HOT!!!!! smmmmmmokin hot, fuck yeah, I'm gettin hard just lookin at u


    tumblr_lt0flgRjou1qiblwbo1_500.gif
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    Jul 30, 2012 8:43 PM GMT
    you're old and have no game.
    and ur fem. ew