When being nice backfires.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 9:04 PM GMT
    So at this very second I'm on a train heading back to my hometown from visiting my best friend in her hometown for the weekend.
    I was sitting alone for the first part of the trip, but as the train isn't express there were people getting on at later stops. When it came to the time for somebody to sit next to me, this guy asked if he could sit down, I said yes obviously because in real life I'm actually decent.
    After about 2 minutes I realized I could smell a ridiculously strong scent of alcohol coming from him.
    I then realize he's red-faced, sweaty, and mentioned a couple of times that he's "tired". I'm kinda ticked off because the area we're going through is extremely rural and he's probably some clueless straight guy that doesn't realize that I'm a total fag. I'm assuming that if he realized that, he'd have sat somewhere else.

    p.s. he can't see my screen because
    a) he's like passing out with his head turned away from me
    b) i have the laptop turned at an angle away from him
    c) the font is pretty small on here

    Have you had experiences where being nice has backfired on you?


    (Oh my god, he just offered me vodka for my ginger ale. I just smiled and said no thanks.)
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Jul 30, 2012 9:06 PM GMT
    GAY CARD REVOKED.


    ALWAYS TRADE FOR ALCOHOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 9:07 PM GMT
    fable saidGAY CARD REVOKED.


    ALWAYS TRADE FOR ALCOHOL


    NO

    YOU WILL GET RAPED
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Jul 30, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    Firebrand said
    fable saidGAY CARD REVOKED.


    ALWAYS TRADE FOR ALCOHOL


    NO

    YOU WILL GET RAPED



    SHUT+THE+FUCK+UP_5b2fdb_3237739.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    Srpkinja je mene majka rodila

    sa verom u Boga majka radjala

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    that qualifies as being nice?

    lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 10:07 PM GMT
    how has that backfired?

    you pulled

    icon_wink.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 30, 2012 10:14 PM GMT
    you can't be serious? It's a public train .. he was being nice by asking if he could sit there ... you don't own the spot ... I'd of just sat the fuck down and wouldn't have asked
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    Jul 30, 2012 11:54 PM GMT
    fable saidALWAYS TRADE FOR ALCOHOL
    I could have a seizure if I drink alcohol so no thanks.
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    Jul 30, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    I agree with this. Kudos to you for just saying no Anduru.

    Firebrand said
    fable saidGAY CARD REVOKED.


    ALWAYS TRADE FOR ALCOHOL


    NO

    YOU WILL GET RAPED
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 11:58 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidyou can't be serious? It's a public train .. he was being nice by asking if he could sit there ... you don't own the spot ... I'd of just sat the fuck down and wouldn't have asked
    Yeah it was soooooo nice of him to get on a train drunk off his ass on a Monday afternoon and harass people on the train.
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    Jul 30, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    It usually backfires, and the smarter the person is, the more likely I am to expect it... the longer it takes, the more they know about me... interesting trade off I've come to expect. icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 31, 2012 12:08 AM GMT
    Anduru saidSo at this very second I'm on a train heading back to my hometown from visiting my best friend in her hometown for the weekend.
    I was sitting alone for the first part of the trip, but as the train isn't express there were people getting on at later stops. When it came to the time for somebody to sit next to me, this guy asked if he could sit down, I said yes obviously because in real life I'm actually decent.
    After about 2 minutes I realized I could smell a ridiculously strong scent of alcohol coming from him.
    I then realize he's red-faced, sweaty, and mentioned a couple of times that he's "tired". I'm kinda ticked off because the area we're going through is extremely rural and he's probably some clueless straight guy that doesn't realize that I'm a total fag. I'm assuming that if he realized that, he'd have sat somewhere else.

    p.s. he can't see my screen because
    a) he's like passing out with his head turned away from me
    b) i have the laptop turned at an angle away from him
    c) the font is pretty small on here

    Have you had experiences where being nice has backfired on you?


    (Oh my god, he just offered me vodka for my ginger ale. I just smiled and said no thanks.)


    Maybe he doesn't care. Isn't that the kind of equality we all want? To be treated like everyone else, even by the drunk/hungover people icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 31, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    Anduru saidHave you had experiences where being nice has backfired on you?

    (Oh my god, he just offered me vodka for my ginger ale. I just smiled and said no thanks.)
    I was at my doctor's office and some reeeeeeeeeeally drunk lady came into the waiting room. Couldn't stop talking with everyone there. I kept my head down and didn't make eye contact. She kept asking me questions directly and I just wanted to be left alone. But I had to respond to her to not be rude, saying "I don't feel like talking today", which she took as an opening, or rather a cry for help. She tried to get me to confess my problems to her because she's a mother hen or some shit. She wouldn't leave me alone and eventually came over to my and touched my thigh. Got up and moved away. She followed, I told her to get away and not touch, she just HAD to overcome my resistance. Luckily the receptionist intercepted her at this point.

    I would have been better off telling her "fuck off, drunk bitch".


    Dj1990 saidSrpkinja je mene majka rodila

    sa verom u Boga majka radjala
    -video-

    This is your pre-ignore warning. Posting Russian/Bosnian/Whoknowsnian videos all the time will do that.
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    Jul 31, 2012 12:50 AM GMT
    venue35 saidCalm down Anduru its not like he farted on you or something.
    Alcohol stinks too.
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    Jul 31, 2012 12:52 AM GMT
    Claystation saidMaybe he doesn't care. Isn't that the kind of equality we all want? To be treated like everyone else, even by the drunk/hungover people icon_lol.gif
    I guess, but I'm thinking it was more that he was too drunk to notice my gayness rather than too accepting to care.
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    Jul 31, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    Obscure saidDEMON!!!!!
    666 posts!
    lol screencapped
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    Jul 31, 2012 2:01 AM GMT
    Anduru said
    Claystation saidMaybe he doesn't care. Isn't that the kind of equality we all want? To be treated like everyone else, even by the drunk/hungover people icon_lol.gif
    I guess, but I'm thinking it was more that he was too drunk to notice my gayness rather than too accepting to care.


    Too drunk to notice your flaming flame?! icon_eek.gif
    We're making progress in the world icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 31, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
    When the car in the next lane signals to change into the lane I'm currently driving in. So as a courtesy, I let him in. And then he proceeds to drive slow as hello. Fuhhhhhh.
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    Jul 31, 2012 2:18 AM GMT
    At least he didn't ask to sit on your lap. icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 31, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    Anduru saidHave you had experiences where being nice has backfired on you?

    Omg, where to begin. My biggest life lesson which I've yet to fully embrace is to tell people when I have a problem with them, because if I'm too nice to, at some point it'll bite me in the ass when out of nowhere they'll be very public about having a far, far lesser problem with me.

    I think my biggest mistake was when I was in my twenties and I put myself in a no-win situation where I had to contemplate hanging an officemate at a major New York law firm, who probably got the job through an important personal connection since the sum of his previous experience had been in food service, out to dry. Because I was nice during a space crunch and volunteered to forego a private office for the short term to which I was entitled given my position (which was never appreciated, nor remembered when space did become available) I wound up sharing one with a senior paralegal who was in Alcoholics Anonymous, and his frequent telephone calls to his sponsor, visits from friends and loud radio were very disruptive and impacted my productivity as a practice area manager. His side of the office was also always stacked with an impressive looking pile of boxes of documents, none of which he ever opened. I often wondered how he could keep his job, which was dependent upon billing clients, and finally gave in to the temptation to check his time tickets since as a manager I had access to everyone's, even people who weren't directly under me. I saw that he was billing over 45 hours a week to clients at $85 per hour, which was an amazing accomplishment given that he spent at least 20 hours per week making personal calls on the company line, as checkable on the phone bill as was his internet history on the company server. I was in a conundrum - even if his direct manager missed it, did I have a fiduciary responsibility to the clients he was defrauding to turn him in even though he wasn't directly my subordinate and it wasn't directly my business? Was upper management aware and turning a blind eye because he was generating profit? The only two outcomes would be he'd have been fired and probably fallen off the wagon, which I was too nice to let happen, or given internal politics it would've meant trouble for me, which I was too smart to let happen. So I did what many RJers would've advised me, I let it drop and my performance and career suffered, but he kept skating on by, and by remaining gainfully employed at an excellent firm and putting out the illusion that he was productive he caught the attention of a rich girl in his A.A. chapter who, in her late thirties, was desperate to get married. Catching her attention before catching the wrong kind of attention of his immediate supervisors he married her, immediately quit his job and moved to Westchester where he remains set for life pursuing his dream hobby of cheesemaking. (No great beauty, he looked and sounded like a pudgy, brown-haired Kiefer Sutherland - by their mid-thirties, straight single men are in great demand and he was sleeping his way through half his A.A. chapter even though that's apparently verbotem, not to mention a few aging actress-paralegals.) In retrospect I should've minded my own business, worn headphones and told him to STFU when l was on the phone. Instead, by being nice my career was set back five years. And of course, he's yet to make amends to me because, coming full circle, I was too nice to tell him I had a problem with him.

    If I'd Anduru'd him with even a look of disdain, an eye roll and a bitch, please by now I'd be ruling the world!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 31, 2012 2:50 AM GMT
    Anduru said


    , I said yes obviously because in real life I'm actually decent.
    )


    Well... that would be nice to see....haha..

    Seriously, I probably would have done the same and if the guy was
    stoked with booz, I'd probably be tempted to ask him to leave.

    Knowing me, I would have probably gotten up and left rather than create a scene... and yes, sometimes being "too nice" can be a problem. I think there are lines anywhere.
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    Jul 31, 2012 3:05 AM GMT
    In my experience, being nice in exchange for something is the only time being nice backfires. In Alcoholics Anonymous I have had to CONSTANTLY take my personal inventory whenever any new motive pops into my head.