Should I let my boyfriend dance with another guy?

  • Stevo87

    Posts: 4

    Aug 01, 2012 2:55 AM GMT
    I have been dating this great guy and it's been a heck of a long time since I dated due to the fact that I live in a foreign non-English speaking country. We are doing great and I am really happy...but we went to the gay club last weekend and it was his first time ever in a gay bar or gay club....actually just any club as a matter of fact. icon_eek.gif

    We had a great time and we were dancing together and it felt great, then it changed, he suddenly started dancing with another guy, no grinding or sexy dancing. But I became SICK to my stomach...I know he was just dancing, but in my head it was like they were having full on sex. I should mention my history that I have had bad boyfriends before that seriously injured me emotionally. I've been cheated on and it SUCKS! Anyways, I confronted him about it, but he couldnt see the big deal of it, he was quite upset actually. He said to me that I dont trust him and it's not like he was going to go home with that guy. That much I know, and I do trust him. Am I crazy? Is it ok if he dances with another guy? Am I letting my insecurities get in the way?

    We are fine now, just a silly fight and it cleared up and we laughed about it, but the he said the next time he goes he wouldnt mind dancing with another guy again, and I asked him why...he simply said...too experience. Those words are poison to me. What should I do? Let him experience? Even though I know he will come home with me~~ it feels like kind of betrayel but at the same time I cant expect him to dance with me the WHOOOOLLLEE time...can i?

    Please HELP!!!!!!
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Aug 01, 2012 2:59 AM GMT
    dude, he's never been to a club before and wants to dance....
    let him dance...u stifling him will not make things any better. In fact, he'll begin to resent you for it.

    It sounds like your insecurities coupled with his inexperience is a recipe for disaster.

  • booboolv

    Posts: 203

    Aug 01, 2012 3:28 AM GMT
    I am the king of failed relationships. What being king has taught me is that love always finds a way into your heart. I also know I am certainly no expert in relationships, but I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.

    You said you "know he will come home with me." Combined with all the other faithful statements you've made about the night out, such as "We had a great time" and there was "no grinding or sexy dancing." it sounds like you've got yourself a great catch.

    Your past is just that, history. Leave it in the past where it can't reach you and you move into the present on your way to the future with your Mr. Wonderful. You probably have learned from your experience that sometimes people can be hurtful, but we know that without risk there is no reward.

    You said you know he'll come home with you and that he behaved himself while having a good time. He is your man, and you're his, so lighten up and enjoy the ride. Before you know it years will have passed and you will be sharing your sage wisdom with those who are just starting out.

    Good look and have fun!
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    I dirty dance but then again I also prostitute myself
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 01, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    imagesnothing-lasts-forever.jpg
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:37 AM GMT
    Sure I'd let him dance with another guy, and then he'll be single.
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    Yes. Just let it be one big party. Gays can get really competitive it seems like. But i do get it.. it should be the same for a straight/gay couple and i know it would be bad if my mom every caught my dad dancing with another woman...

    but.. it depends on the relationship i think icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    Dj1990 saidI dirty dance but then again I also prostitute myself


    hmm.. do tell?
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:45 AM GMT
    I'd love for someone to use a "I just wanted to experience" line on me. Experience what, praytell? icon_rolleyes.gif

    I can dance all night, and where I'm from, you dance with the one that brung you.
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:46 AM GMT
    Or you just dance by your damn self. Robyn knows how.

    catch saidI'd love for someone to use a "I just wanted to experience" line on me. Experience what, praytell? icon_rolleyes.gif

    I can dance all night, and where I'm from, you dance with the one that brung you.
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:50 AM GMT
    its just dancing... not a big deal
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    catch saidI can dance all night, and where I'm from, you dance with the one that brung you.
    brought*
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:53 AM GMT
    Well obviously he committed a HUGE crime dancing with another guy, and not even sexy dancing or grinding. What a total fucking asshole, you should never let him go out again. What if he starts carrying a casual conversation with someone else, not talking about sex or anything like that? You cant risk it, next thing you know he's gonna come back and say he has friends. He shouldn't have friends, he should be a fucking recluse. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    My sentiments exactly.


    Claystation saidWell obviously he committed a HUGE crime dancing with another guy, and not even sexy dancing or grinding. What a total fucking asshole, you should never let him go out again. What if he starts carrying a casual conversation with someone else, not talking about sex or anything like that? You cant risk it, next thing you know he's gonna come back and say he has friends. He shouldn't have friends, he should be a fucking recluse. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 01, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    Anduru said
    catch saidI can dance all night, and where I'm from, you dance with the one that brung you.
    brought*

    erm no, I said that correctly.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 01, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    Claystation saidWell obviously he committed a HUGE crime dancing with another guy, and not even sexy dancing or grinding. What a total fucking asshole, you should never let him go out again. What if he starts carrying a casual conversation with someone else, not talking about sex or anything like that? You cant risk it, next thing you know he's gonna come back and say he has friends. He shouldn't have friends, he should be a fucking recluse. icon_rolleyes.gif

    OMG ... you're just like the first guy I got an apartment with .... ahhhh the memories ... no wonder I drank so much
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    Aug 01, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    OMG ... you're just like the first guy I got an apartment with .... ahhhh the memories ... no wonder I drank so much


    I bet it was the best relationship you've ever been in too icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 01, 2012 4:19 AM GMT
    Dj1990 saidI dirty dance but then again I also prostitute myself
    Ultimate Troll, sacrifices himself as he trolls... no holds barred. That or you've got to be kidding? icon_question.gif
  • Stevo87

    Posts: 4

    Aug 01, 2012 4:19 AM GMT
    Import saiddude, he's never been to a club before and wants to dance....
    let him dance...u stifling him will not make things any better. In fact, he'll begin to resent you for it.

    It sounds like your insecurities coupled with his inexperience is a recipe for disaster.



    Dancing is one thing....dancing with a complete stranger....totally different mate. At one point I understand you, but then on the other side...whats the need to dance with someone else if he has me? Why do we dance with random guys in the first place when we are single? To dance??? I've heard of those....its called ballroom dancing classes, for the bored...
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Aug 01, 2012 10:16 AM GMT
    Should you let him dance with another guy at a bar? Are you kidding me? Are you serious with this question? Baby, if you are laying that dick and rod of yours right to your man's ass, it won't matter who the hell he dances with at the bar, he's gonna make sure he comes home to your cock for the night, hahaha.
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    Aug 01, 2012 2:10 PM GMT
    it doesnt really matter what anyone else tinks about this or what the normal response should be...

    if you dont like it you have two options as far as i can see.

    1) tell him and ask him not to at least until you are a bit more serious/commited etc, explain your history a little and try to come across as genuine and not controlling,

    2) deal with the issue itself and try to get over your jealousy, councelling/talking to friends, but about the problem itself (jealoust/mistrust/fear of abandonment/rejection) not the symptoms (cant handle him dancing/flirting etc)

    i dont think either is right or wrong, i just think those are the only logical options.

    good luck

    x
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Aug 01, 2012 2:12 PM GMT
  • d694485

    Posts: 222

    Aug 01, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    At least you guys are communicating. That's usually a good thing right?
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    Aug 01, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    Stevo87 said..but we went to the gay club last weekend and it was his first time ever in a gay bar or gay club....actually just any club as a matter of fact.

    This is where the issue is. You've tried the buffet and settled for what you want on your plate. He hasn't and has you telling him what he can and cant eat. Since it is all new to him you are going to be patient and let him have fun and experience things they you may already have. Is he allowed to get upset at you in return because you've done stuff that he hasn't?
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    Aug 01, 2012 2:38 PM GMT
    Feeling a little clingy? He's having fun and a dance is just that! I'd say you're more than a little paranoid about this guy finding someone else! You sound extremely clingy or manipulative. You obviously don't trust the guy or you wouldn't mind him having a fun time!

    I don't think you're ready for a relationship, stick to dating and play the field until you come to terms with your own insecurities, then you might better understand trust in a relationship and much it means to the guy you're with.