gay how you deal it

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2008 2:38 AM GMT
    so many years I put my being gay on back burner because did not want family to shocked by I wish it would go away even high shool I knew some thing up I wanted to fit in I beat on beause I was difernt and now look at me very lonely I have thrown my self in fitness even that is very lonely there times days that I think of doing away with my self. should not write this I know is no harder any one eles I am 51 no wants a gay 51 man I work all the time which helps but I tell self get better but this hurts I know this is not topic you wanted but I needed to write my fitness feel much better life sucks.sorry for this. wildbarry4 I sent you guys a thank in the Quote if want to read it its at the bottom of this page. BARRY
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    Aug 11, 2008 2:50 AM GMT


    Hi wildbarry,

    Please contact the following:

    Kalamazoo Gay Lesbian Resource (269) 349-4234 629 Pioneer St

    They will help you along and you really will be OK!

    It is NEVER too late and 51 is not too old at all. icon_biggrin.gif

  • MuslDrew

    Posts: 463

    Aug 11, 2008 3:37 AM GMT
    Hang in there
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    Aug 11, 2008 3:38 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    It is NEVER too late and 51 is not too old at all. icon_biggrin.gif


    Geez, I hope not (being 51 also).....
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    Aug 11, 2008 4:44 AM GMT

    Your first post on this site and this is what you write?!? If sympathy is what you wanted, I'm afraid I can't oblige you. A young soldier loses a leg in Afghanistan, I cry: An old queen starts whining for absolutely nothing, I kick her in the pants.

    YOU ARE ALIVE AND HEALTHY. YOU HAVE A JOB. YOU HAVE HEALTH SENSE. YOU HAVE COMMON SENSE.

    Really, what is the gripe? No one wants a 5o year old gay? Well, I just rode one hard and put him away wet not too long ago so I have no idea what you are talking about.

    Many men love older gays, but they are attracted to the confidence an older man has. If you are thinking everyone wants perfection , get over that. Plenty of men would except you warts and all, but that acceptance starts with you.

    And from what I see: a poorly executed main photo, a pitiful whiny post riddled with grammatical error and a terrible self defeatist attitude, you clearly haven't grasped what the first step to dealing with being gay is.

    ...that step is: accept that the world is an ugly judgemental place and that you are a glamorous pretty princess and every man wants you.

    LOL, you can tweak that if you need to, but really, I just want you to feel that you aren't so bad and as far as the past, you can't change it. You can change the future, but sitting around whining won't change it. And worrying about your family...what's the point in that? When you crawl into bed at night, you are crawling into it alone for the most part and you've gotta deal with yourself. That's the real first step to dealing with being gay: dealing with your gay self - thankyou.

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    Aug 11, 2008 4:50 AM GMT
    If you think no one wants a 51 year old, you're mistaken.

    But, are you allergic to punctuation?
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    Aug 11, 2008 4:57 AM GMT



    excuse us, but wildbarry said,

    ..."there times days that I think of doing away with my self."


    with those words in mind, can we avoid the 'bitch slappin' way of help?


    asking for help is not asking for a dressing-down.
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    Aug 11, 2008 5:30 AM GMT

    I'm sorry. Original Poster, the first advice you received from Mr. MeninLove is correct. Call that HotLine because those people are professionals and desire to help. Mind you, so do I, but my rural Lawton Town brand of tough love may not be the best given the circumstances. Do Not Hurt Yourself. Nothing is that bad.
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    Aug 11, 2008 5:40 AM GMT
    yeah, call that Hotline. You are prolly gonna need some sort of help working thru the emotional web that has developed all these years. Maybe some anti-depressant to stabilize your mood.

    But one tiny thing you can do is smile. Even a forced smile. If you present the frown in your pic to the world, the world isnt gonna smile back. Try forcing a smile as you go about your day and how more positively people will treat you.
  • shoelessj

    Posts: 511

    Aug 11, 2008 4:02 PM GMT
    GG is my new favourite RJ man. Sometimes tough love is the best kind.

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    Aug 11, 2008 4:09 PM GMT


    ....but equally, sometimes not.

    GG is top-notch in our book. The ability to do a complete 180 like that is better than those Olympic gymnasts....

    ....makes those initials stand for Gorgeous Guy.

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    Aug 11, 2008 4:10 PM GMT

    Good Morning, WildBarry4?....you awake?
    Lemme guess: black, medium rare, and sunnyside up...did I nail it. Come on, tell me I nailed it.icon_razz.gif

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    Aug 12, 2008 2:43 AM GMT

    Not funny, WildBarry4, you don't allude to suicide and then not post to your thread for a whole day. Mom is getting worried now.icon_neutral.gif
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    Aug 12, 2008 3:11 AM GMT
    Dont listen to GG. He hasnt learned the art of compassion yet.

    Im not swayed by big black cock fantasys here, which some of the other posters are. And I know GG doesnt have one anyway, most huge roided guys are roided to make up for loss in penile size.

    GG didnt come out smelling like a rose, only fitting comments enhanced by roid rage. The guy is obviously 27 with a MidState inferiory complex, hopefully for him the same is in store at 51 karma works like that you know. How can you talk about someone whos depressed having grammatical errors. Im happy and there will be some in this post to. Fuck him.



    Listen man everyone lives more than one life. I know you wont believe it until you put some study into it or die. But I stronly suggest you get into some type of spritual reading. You will have another chance to live the live you have lived or a diffrent one. Try Conversations with GOD or A Course in Miracles. Another one is called into the VOID. Any other type of eastern teachings are great too. If you know how to make connections you will see it is true. If I could just show you here I would man, but you have to go after it yourself with true intent on learning more and accepting the life you have now ok? Once you read any of those books with an open heart you will begin to see you have a reason for why you came out later in life. And i have a reason for being gay. So just be patient I promise you will get another chance and so will everyone else. The universes love is eternal.

    Its ok to feel how your feeling, just try to look at the power you have now by feeling the way you have you have a great power to help others once you have become strong yourself.

    I cant make your light shine for you all I can do is try to show you its there. Your just not looking at it yet. So Try one of those reads get involved in something with children or helping others. You will see its better than any therapist can give you.



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    Aug 12, 2008 3:42 AM GMT
    One well remembers talking about one of the darkest days of my life. the day my man in Russia, told me he would be back home in Russia in a few days time. My world fell all around me, and it took many dears for this dark cloud too blow over.

    But On this day way back in 1999. One Also talked to Sebastian about things that would come to pass, on my B'day of that year, and the next, and for Ones 40th B'day. One talked about on that May day way back in 1999. About what America now calls 9/11. All this come to pass. One was to talk about this to friends, and work colleges, and on Vtown, all before the advent. But no-one wanted to listen.

    The abuse One received for talking about this on the 31,04.2008. One was called Cuckoo, and in need of help, and if no-one ells had anything to pick on, they used grammar. One felt One dealt with all this abuse very well, and still refuses too walk away from the truth, for fear of more abuse.

    But..... It was GuiltyGear whom come to Ones rescue, and stood by Ones side. One thinks this guy should be called Lion Heart.

    He is a man of the first Order.
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    Aug 12, 2008 4:39 AM GMT
    You know. The late Princess Die, whom had men falling at her feet. Claimed too be lonely.

    But then One doubts if all the men in the world, would of satisfy her.
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    Aug 12, 2008 4:56 AM GMT
    Well wildbarry4,

    You can see this is a wild bunch, so you fit right in.

    Listen to what helps you and IGNORE what does not.



    Mulattomacho, you made your point in your first sentence.

    GorgeousGuy apologized. That's classy and you can't take that away.

    Let's just pay attention to wildbarry. It's his thread, and he was brave enough to reach out and post.

    Hey, wildbarry, there's a section here on RJ about spirituality that you can explore. Have fun and enjoy yourself!
    Do put up a smiling pic of you. Would be nice to see!

    -Doug

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    Aug 12, 2008 4:30 PM GMT

    See what happens when you keep the wedding party waiting?
    Get out here , we want to discuss dowry with you.icon_razz.gif

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    Aug 14, 2008 12:40 AM GMT

    Hi, doll.
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    Aug 15, 2008 12:38 AM GMT
    .....................................

    Listen to Jem. Music is magic. Let's not forget about its healing properties. I recently rediscovered Melissa Manchester, man can that diva knock down the walls if you've got them set. It's funny how listening to Don't Cry OutLoud makes you want to do just the opposite!

    I would advise that if your depression continues to be an issue that you go through your old tapes and records and find your favorite titles: the ones that always pulled you through the hard times. Find them online and copy them to cd so you can listen to them in the car. ofcourse, if you have an I-Pod, put them there as well.

    I was born in the 80's, but a lot of songs I heard growing up, the ones that gave me comfort are from the 70's which is why I love The Carpenters, the Momma's and the Poppa's, and Carly Simon. Anticipation always gives me hope that if I keep waiting, that good thing (MAN) will show up and make the wait worth while.

    You may be tempted to load heavy metal and crap like that onto your I-Pod, but I strongly advise against it. Hearing that rancor blaring in your ears for an extended amount of time could make you...not fun to be around.
    Keep your selections upbeat and airy and that is how they'll make you feel.

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    Aug 15, 2008 1:02 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said.....................................

    Listen to Jem. Music is magic. Let's not forget about its healing properties. I recently rediscovered Melissa Manchester, man can that diva knock down the walls if you've got them set. It's funny how listening to Don't Cry OutLoud makes you want to do just the opposite!

    I would advise that if your depression continues to be an issue that you go through your old tapes and records and find your favorite titles: the ones that always pulled you through the hard times. Find them online and copy them to cd so you can listen to them in the car. ofcourse, if you have an I-Pod, put them there as well.

    OMG I forgot all about Malissa Manchester, and I loved that song don't cry out load and send in the clowns too.

    When I was a wee boy, ZI would sneak to the pool hall, and play the Carpenters on the jukebox, I picked up one of their Cd's while in Hawaii; Make believe it's your first, and I'll make believe it's mine.

    You would love my Cd collection, as I love the music from the 70s.

    Song like: Boney M Rivers of babylon, and many other hits they had.
    Bay City Rollers: Bye Bye Baby, and a few other hits.
    William shakespeare: My little Angel.
    Dawn: Knock 3 times.
    Nilsson: Without you.
    Baccara: Yes Sir I can boggie.Middle of the Road: Chirpy Chirpy, cheep cheep.
    Mary Macgregor. Torn between two lovers; My song. I had that album, and lent and never got it back, and never seen it again.
    Eric Carmen: all by Myself. great album too.

    Racy,
    Harp,
    Hot chocolate,
    Little River Band,
    Dr Hook.

    just to name a few.

    His words may seem harsh at time, but he has a lion-heart.

    I am a survivor of torture as a child. It was music, that got me though, and still does today.

    Oh yes, and AbbA. I thank you for the music, and the 30 years of joy you have given me, and so many others.

    I was born in the 80's, but a lot of songs I heard growing up, the ones that gave me comfort are from the 70's which is why I love The Carpenters, the Momma's and the Poppa's, and Carly Simon. Anticipation always gives me hope that if I keep waiting, that good thing (MAN) will show up and make the wait worth while.

    You may be tempted to load heavy metal and crap like that onto your I-Pod, but I strongly advise against it. Hearing that rancor blaring in your ears for an extended amount of time could make you...not fun to be around.
    Keep your selections upbeat and airy and that is how they'll make you feel.

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Aug 15, 2008 2:30 AM GMT
    Wildbarry ... I'm sorry you have to feel this way
    and you're not going to find a magic wand in any of the responses that you're going to get here

    ... and judging by the way you wrote in your post and your pic there might even be some mind numbing substances being used to cover some of your hurt
    Hopefully you'll make that call if it really is that painful
    but if that's the least you do from your plea here then it's been a good day
    I'm not going to tell you that life is full of happiness and you're going to be a fit man tomorrow if you just have the will power
    because that's not true for every situation
    but there is a better way
    and to make it hurt much less
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    Aug 15, 2008 2:30 PM GMT
    Mate as a child, I was torured. No drama in that, it's the sad truth.

    I also spent many years as a Mormon. But always knew I was a homosexual, and made to feel this was wrong.

    I longed for Mr right to come. I made many mistakes trying too find him. Then in 1999 I finally did. The most happiest time in my life. Oh how content, and fulfilled I felt. At last I felt complete.

    Then one day we were walking along a River in Melbourne, and he let me know he would be back home in Russia, in a few days time. My world feel all around me, and in a way I've never been the same again.

    I have never felt 100% complete since, as apart of me is in Moscow. This man of mine, has never forgotten me, and never stopped loving me. Yet I start and finish every day without him. never getting to share the same air. Every day I miss him.

    yet life goes on. I awake every day, and just get on with it. I told him before he went: if there is life after death. I'll meet him in the back left hand cnr of heaven, or hell, whereever it is we will go.

    Things could be worse. You could be me.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 15, 2008 2:46 PM GMT
    Well I realize anything we offer may not come across as a sincere desire to help you, but I think some of us are concerned...

    You didn't talk about some of the activities with which you are involved. I think a balance between giving to others, helping others, participation in your community and taking an active interest in gay related topics really helps. Do you have an interest in any political events or community related activities? It just seems like you need to be around other people and learn to appreciate who you are, your talents and who you really are.

    And age should never be a factor, 51, 71 or whatever.
    You have lots to share! Keep us informed.

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 18, 2008 4:33 AM GMT

    rainbow036.jpg

    Has the storm


    passed?