Potentially Lost a Friend, But Stood up For My Rights!

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  Aug 02, 2012 2:14 AM GMT

  Last Saturday I went out with a few friends and a friend of mine from South Carolina brought a friend of hers who was visiting. We were a good mix of sexual orientations, races, religions, etc.
  
  Somehow gay marriage came up and this girl starts going all fundie, saying that she believes in the original definition of marriage as the bible says, and that gays are trying to force other people to accept them.
  
  I don't know what came over me, I've just been really tired of the bullshit, tired of being told we have to respect other people's opinions even if they are being bigoted jerks.
  
  I told her to please leave, that she was free to have whatever opinions she wants to have, but that I refused to spend any additional time with her. I told her that she was being prejudiced and that she was on the wrong side of history. She was shocked. So was my friend. Of course, it made everyone uncomfortable, but everyone seemed to agree with me (except my friend from SC, of course).
  
  I refuse to believe that I have to respect people for having bigoted ideas. I'm sure someone at some point demanded that people who were against biracial marriage be respected. What would we say to them today?
  
  You can say whatever you want to say, but you have to accept the blowback.

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• BmwKid92
  
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  Aug 02, 2012 2:16 AM GMT

  you ruined dinner jerk

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• HottJoe
  
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  Aug 02, 2012 2:18 AM GMT

  I think it takes courage to stand up to people. I thank you for it.

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  Aug 02, 2012 3:03 AM GMT

  introjock saidYou can say whatever you want to say, but you have to accept the blowback.

  
  Agreed. What the fundies want, of course, is to shove THEIR views down everyone else's throats. To turn the US into a Christian theocracy, to have their brand of religion enshrined in US public law. And if gays want equal rights the fundies squeal these are special rights, that we're forcing our views on them.
  
  You have as much right to express your views as she does. Of course, she'll tell herself she trumps any other opinions because hers come from God, that she's speaking the very word of God, which is non-debateable, non-assailable, and non-negotiable.
  
  You did well to dispute her intolerance and bigotry. It's time we stop taking this wimpy position that everyone else gets to spout hatred against us without challenge, because we're so fair-minded, but that we in turn can't say anything to offend them, and can't point out that they are the ones who are offending us.

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  Aug 02, 2012 3:23 AM GMT

  I always find bringing up what else the bible says about marriage, etc. to be effective.

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  Aug 02, 2012 4:10 AM GMT

  I lost a cousin like that. His wife kept sending me fundie crap. Anti-abortion this, traditional republican marriage that. Never mind that at that time I was dealing with watching my mom die and the family knows I'm gay so anyone throwing that crap in my face had a lot of nerve a little respect.
  
  After I said something to stop it, and I was not rude about it, I simply explained that I was not her target audience, the wife cut out that crap but then our relationship rapidly deteriorated and now it is non-existent.
  
  I'm still friendly with another cousin, his sister, so I get updates but that's all the contact that remains. The wife also destroyed my cousin's relationship with his father when she didn't get along with him either. Some people are just control freak douchebags and those who fall for them come under their influence.
  
  Even my neighbors here who are not just churchgoers but some of them born again rarely even talk bible at me and I appreciate the respect. One guy did try to preach at me and all I said was, well, hopefully when you meet your maker you'll find that all worked out well for you. He's stopped trying to convert me and we just exchange pleasantries.

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  Aug 02, 2012 9:17 AM GMT

  how about straight forward to dessert ask her to leave instead of energy consumed arguement.

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  Aug 02, 2012 10:23 AM GMT

  Next time ask her where in the bible it says "one man and one woman." that will kill the convo better than "please leave."
  
  Then you can start in with Abraham married his sister and shagged the kitchen help, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 whores, etc.

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  Aug 02, 2012 12:58 PM GMT

  There is a movie quote for this...
  
  I've had to do this myself.

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  Aug 02, 2012 1:09 PM GMT

  Caslon20000 saidNext time ask her where in the bible it says "one man and one woman." that will kill the convo better than "please leave."
  
  Then you can start in with Abraham married his sister and shagged the kitchen help, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 whores, etc.

  
  And they'll reply that was the Old Testament, which was different from today. So you counter: what about the other Old Testament passages the fundies & Republicans use against gays, and you'll get told that's different again, and OK to apply those parts of the Bible to the modern world.
  
  Cherry picking at its finest. Select your prejudice first, then cull the Bible to find support for it. Meanwhile ignore the passages that don't fit your bigotry, or that inconvenience you.

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• HndsmKansan
  
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  Aug 02, 2012 1:11 PM GMT

  Kudos to you for taking a stand... for being reasonable, but taking a stand on
  what was right. I think thats awesome!
  
  

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  Aug 02, 2012 1:16 PM GMT

  Art_Deco said

  Caslon20000 saidNext time ask her where in the bible it says "one man and one woman." that will kill the convo better than "please leave."
  
  Then you can start in with Abraham married his sister and shagged the kitchen help, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 whores, etc.

  
  And they'll reply that was the Old Testament, which was different from today. So you counter: what about the other Old Testament passages the fundies & Republicans use against gays, and you'll get told that's different again, and OK to apply those parts of the Bible to the modern world.
  
  Cherry picking at its finest. Select your prejudice first, then cull the Bible to find support for it. Meanwhile ignore the passages that don't fit your bigotry, or that inconvenience you.

  
  Well the new testament is even more gay friendly... Go for it
  
  But actually I just think challenging the biblical definition should bring this to a screaching halt. They'll just have to find something else.

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