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What's your opinion of a gay man who makes the choice to "out" another gay man?

It should be done every now and then. Its only fair.

Depends on who he outs the guy to

Outing to mutual friends...I think that's okay

Outing to a current girlfriend....yes he shouldnt be living a double life

Outing to another family member....that's douchy

none of my business. Why would I even bother to do that?

I wouldn't do it but unless he lives in a Saudi Arabia type of place....don't feel bad for him.

There is so many guys here in Boston who are discreet.

Gays can get married here yet they still want to be discreet.

I've hooked up with them and then I found out they hide their gayness from roomates and/or neighbors....if i liked pussies I'd get one.

I don't even hide my gayness in Serbia...how am I supposed to respect somebody who hides it in Boston hahah...shit.

Dj1990 saidI wouldn't do it but unless he lives in a Saudi Arabia type of place....don't feel bad for him.

There is so many guys here in Boston who are discreet.

Gays can get married here yet they still want to be discreet.

I've hooked up with them and then I found out they hide their gayness from roomates and/or neighbors....if i liked pussies I'd get one.

I don't even hide my gayness in Serbia...how am I supposed to respect somebody who hides it in Boston hahah...shit.

What does being "discreet" mean to you?

Hapuna saidDepends on who he outs the guy to

[quote][cite]QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERE[/cite]Outing to mutual friends...I think that's okay

Outing to a current girlfriend....yes he shouldn't be living a double life

Outing to another family member....that's douchy [/quote]

All good points...BUT I have mutual friends who don't know...( Ive never told them) I dont know if I would be comfortable with them knowing.....

If you find your friend is gay, your co-worker, your neighbor, your acquaintance, etc. or hook up with a closeted person- never.

If you find a politician, religious leader, head of a anti-gay organization, etc that has been working against gay rights is gay- yes.

Iceblink saidIf you find your friend is gay, your co-worker, your neighbor, your acquaintance, etc. or hook up with a closeted person- never.

If you find a politician, religious leader, head of a anti-gay organization, etc that has been working against gay rights is gay- yes.

LOL! I guess the second statement applies to the Catholic Church.

TallguyNLA said

Iceblink saidIf you find your friend is gay, your co-worker, your neighbor, your acquaintance, etc. or hook up with a closeted person- never.

If you find a politician, religious leader, head of a anti-gay organization, etc that has been working against gay rights is gay- yes.

LOL! I guess the second statement applies to the Catholic Church.

A priest that is not making a point of actively working against gay rights and is just preaching his sermons, no I would not out. A priest that is out there in the press preaching gays are evil and working with anti-gay organizations, yes I would out.

I've never outed a gay man in my life. Nor can I think of ordinary situations where I ever would, no set of everyday circumstances where that would be acceptable for any gay man to do.

Exceptions, which I don't imagine I'll ever encounter, could include accidentally stumbling across some militantly homophobic public figure "in flagrante delicto". If I had unassailable evidence, not just my word against his, I'd gladly report him to the press, and certainly to law enforcement if it involved an actual crime, to stop the hypocritical harm he was doing to the gay community and to any individual victims.

But even in the Army I never reported my own subordinates, nor investigated them, when I had evidence they were engaged in potentially gay sexual behavior. I didn't support that policy and I didn't enforce it. Because I never knew a good commander who didn't sometimes overlook the "small stuff" as opposed to being a by-the-book asshole.

Daas saidnone of my business. Why would I even bother to do that?

agree

I wouldn't go out of my way to out someone, AND I would not want to be complicit in his lies.
... unless he's on Iceblink's list of hypocrites, then he should be outted.

TallguyNLA said

Hapuna saidDepends on who he outs the guy to

[quote][cite]QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERE[/cite]Outing to mutual friends...I think that's okay

Outing to a current girlfriend....yes he shouldn't be living a double life

Outing to another family member....that's douchy

All good points...BUT I have mutual friends who don't know...( Ive never told them) I dont know if I would be comfortable with them knowing.....[/quote]

I also think it depends on the person. If they already have gay friends I think it's okay because they're obviously open to that

Only acceptable in the case of a hypocritical, activist homophobe.

Otherwise discretion takes priority aka "is the better part of valor**". For instance, I've an ongoing dilemma with a platonic friend who, though I don't approve of some of his activity, is grandfathered-in as a good friend because we've been friends since our single digit ages.

Because I know he cheats his relationship (otherwise he really does have many truly wonderful qualities), I do not allow myself to become friendly with his wife who I can't in good conscience befriend without being honest and outing him, damaging both their relationship and my old friendship. So he's always welcome to visit and stay with me and I will always be his friend but also I always make excuses for not visiting and staying with him so that I am not put directly into conflict.

A good lesson in life not often enough utilized by a number of rather potty mouthed RJers, learn to bite your tongue.

**http://www.enotes.com/shakespeare-quotes/better-part-valor-discretion
"Falstaff: To die is to be a counterfeit, for he is but the counterfeit of
a man who hath not the life of a man; but to counterfeit dying,
when a man thereby liveth, is to be no counterfeit, but the true
and perfect image of life indeed. The better part of valor is
discretion, in the which better part I have sav'd my life.

Henry The Fourth, Part 1 Act 5, scene 4, 115–121

Almost invariably quoted today as "Discretion is the better part of valor," Falstaff's phrase elegantly redeems a cowardly act. The bragging, bulbous knight has just risen from his feigned death; he had played the corpse in order to escape real death at the hands of a Scotsman hostile to Henry IV. Claiming that abstractions like "honor" and "valor" will get you nothing once you're dead, Falstaff excuses his counterfeiting as the kind of "discretion" that keeps a man from foolishly running into swords in order to cultivate a reputation for heroism. If counterfeiting keeps you alive, well then, it's not counterfeiting, but an authentic "image of life." Falstaff confuses "image" with "reality," but we forgive him; as far as he's concerned, "valor" is an image too, and you've got to stay alive in order to find more opportunities to cultivate that image."

Bitch oughta be slapped and ought mind her own business

Iceblink saidIf you find your friend is gay, your co-worker, your neighbor, your acquaintance, etc. or hook up with a closeted person- never.

If you find a politician, religious leader, head of a anti-gay organization, etc that has been working against gay rights is gay- yes.

I Totally agree

I don't think anyone should ever do it. As much as you may think you know about the person or situation, there could be important things you don't know. It's nobodies business but theirs.

The only exception I'll make is if it's some political anti-gay bigot. They would deserve it

PittBull_21 saidI don't think anyone should ever do it. As much as you may think you know about the person or situation, there could be important things you don't know. It's nobodies business but theirs.

[quote][cite]QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERE[/cite]The only exception I'll make is if it's some political anti-gay bigot. They would deserve it

[/quote]
Damn good point, man!

Outing someone is such a douchebag move - if they're not out, they're not out for a reason. Respect other people's personal lives, and don't be a fucking drama queen.

None of my business

whoever "agrees" with "outting" someone is a HUGE DUMBASS...kill yourself

I think it's wrong to share a secret of someone else when it has no pertinence to you and could hurt the other person emotionally. It's their choice. Let them live with it until they're ready.

I agree with others. It is non of my business unless they are a leader or other public figure preaching anti-gay stances or trying to make, endorse or somehow support anti-gay laws.

When someone decides to come out it is their business and theirs alone. When and if they are ever ready is their choice. I do not walk in their shoes.

Unless the person is an anti gay militant, outing another gay guy is a proof of immaturity and self-righteousness