Wash yo ass! and anal sex horror stories..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2012 10:31 PM GMT
    I've been the victim of many unwashed asshole. Power bottoms please douche... It's simple. I've had 3 times in my sexual career in which i pull out and there are HUGE mounds of poo on my dick. They didn't even TRY... as if they purposefully went and had a KFC and Taco Bell pig out AND a chili dog when they knew we were going to hook and most likely fuck.

    I even douche once in awhile to keep myself clean when eating protein and taking loads of powders when i am gaining. And i like mutual rimming. And sometimes i'll switch if i'm compelled by chemistry and the moment.

    One time i met this incredibly hot guy... Iranian... tatts and piercings.. thin waist... total bottom... a bit on the freaky side..which i do and sometime prefer. He had known that we were going to meet up and then go to his place for drinks after dinner. It was pretty much a hook up that was set up like a "date" to hide the plain sex factor.

    When we got to sex.. i pulled out and there was a fart and then a HUGE spray of alcohol diarrhea and chunks of ass chocolate IN MY FACE... and the entire room began to smell as if every fiber of it is made of shit. I get up as if i have just been contaminated with Ebola... and run to his bathroom and i didn't even ask him... i took a shower lol.... and then he got up and just wipped his ass with tissue... and was like "stick it back in". It was done.. i didn't even want to kiss him.. i'm flacid. Night done ....to a halt. Screeech.He then got on top of me and tried to pin me down and force my penis into him.. RAW and it was like crazy city after that. I got out to say the least.

    I duck him any time i see him out.



    So lets talk hygiene in this thread. Stories? Your methods to keeping clean? are you a top who douches? Favorite "toys" and "tools"? Do you never douche.. or douche TOO often?


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    Aug 05, 2012 10:35 PM GMT
    OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY FUCKINGGGGGGGGGG GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!! I hurt for you man, but that was some funny shit.
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    Aug 05, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    How to get your ass ready to be fucked!

    Timeless wisdom is timeless.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2012 10:47 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidHow to get your ass ready to be fucked!

    Timeless wisdom is timeless.


    Love it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2012 10:48 PM GMT
    Propecia gives some great advice:

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    Aug 05, 2012 10:56 PM GMT
    Helios69 saidPropecia gives some great advice:



    OMG> I love this woman. She's sadly passed away. This is so fucking funny.
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    Aug 05, 2012 11:44 PM GMT
    Obscure saidLOL I was just about to post the Alex K. Tyler vid until I scrolled down.

    That's So Obscure!




    wash yo nuts!


    You never know if you happen to be in a sketchy niegborhood and there's a drive-by rimming..... anything can happen... keep your shit tight.


    And don't over there with stanky asshole...askin' it to be sucked and fucked....



    I love Alexyss ... she is SO frank.. every word that comes out her mouth gets more and more lewd until you are just on the floor in shock and laughing your ass off. You've been verbally assaulted. That kind of humor works well. Especially with gay material.


    This is the holy grail of youtube vids....


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2012 12:38 AM GMT
    More classic Propecia:

  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Aug 06, 2012 12:48 AM GMT
    I never douche and never have problems when I bottom. I always make sure to go to the bathroom before I plan on bottoming and then shower and wash my ass well, use a few fingers. I mean really, if you have a healthy diet you should be having healthy bowel movement and it shouldn't be messy.


    I did have a minor horror story, I went on a camping/hiking trip with my boyfriend for a few days and on our way back we spent a night in Vegas. So it was a few days of campfire food and then a Vegas buffet. We ended up drinking and dancing out at a club until 3 and then went back to the room and he fucked me hard and we sorta stained the sheets.
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    Aug 06, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    That is fucking disgusting! Jeez! icon_eek.gif I'd be scarred for life if I were you!
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    Aug 06, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    That gives a whole new meaning to the term "Shit Faced".
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    Aug 06, 2012 8:52 AM GMT
    I fucked an Italian guy on his back once after going home from a club and looked down to see there was a hell of a mess going on down there, I somehow managed to finish up and then streaked to the bathroom to clean myself up, the tops of my thighs and all around my groin was dirty. He didn't seem that bothered really, I assumed it was a one-off because it was after a club so I made arrangements to see him again during the day and fucked him again but it was very similar so that was the last time I saw him.

    I don't mind an unexpected accident, I think that's the risk you take when you fuck an ass but to not even bother to clean up when you know you're getting fucked, not really any excuse for that. He said he was usually top so maybe not really used to it but still!

    Shame on you if you shit me once, shame on me if you shit me twice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2012 9:17 AM GMT
    @ Pure - how did I know you would have a story lol!
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    Aug 06, 2012 1:04 PM GMT
    ozgreenguy said@ Pure - how did I know you would have a story lol!


    What can I say - to quote Lil Kim - I been a lot of places, I seen a lot of faces, ah hell I even fucked with different races :-)
  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Aug 06, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    I met a cute Vietnamese guy not too long ago who wanted to fuck. We got going and in the middle of it I smelled something. I back up a little and looked down to see #2 everywhere on me, the sheets, etc. I pulled out and went to shower. I came back and he was still laying there not bothered and asked me if it bothered me. I grabbed him by the hand and said let's shower together. I washed him and his ass. He told me that his last BF was into that and he thought all of his partners would be into it. I said NO, if I'm bottoming I'm squeaky clean and if I have ANY thought that it might not be clean I don't bottom. And if I top I expect a clean bottom. Strangely (or maybe not) we only saw each other once after that and then he went silent. Shame, I'd like to eat that smooth ass again!!
  • el_pdm

    Posts: 23

    Aug 06, 2012 6:45 PM GMT
    one of the few occasions I've topped ... unforgettable for the wrong reasons.

    with every thrust there is a louder, 'squishing' sound. Thank God I always use condoms. There it was. Shit on my cock.

    His response? "I'll just go to the toilet and then we can start again"... no mate the moment's gone and I'm not going back in there!

    As has been said, making no effort before getting fucked? Recipe for disaster!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2012 7:44 PM GMT
    this is 2nd hand,

    but a friend of mine....his best friend found out his partner was cheating....because he found corn under his foreskin....


    yeah......icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 06, 2012 10:24 PM GMT
    BAMBINO_REX saidthis is 2nd hand,

    but a friend of mine....his best friend found out his partner was cheating....because he found corn under his foreskin....


    yeah......icon_eek.gif


    I had an ex-roommate tell me a story like that about a "friend" of his. I question the validity of it now.
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    Aug 06, 2012 11:11 PM GMT
    I have "shitloads" of anal horror stories. Well 4 to be exact.


    Ok second one: I was 19 and dating "the love of my life" in Southern California and we loved to often trip to the Joshua Tree desert and smoke pot and drink beer and listen to Led Zep and Art Bell on the radio. He was into space and new age stuff. We star gazed and "our song" was Coldplays Yellow.I was young and crazy and did things that i most likely wouldn't do now.

    It was 4th of July weekend and Joshua Tree was packed. We hiked all day and then camped and drank and smoked ourselves out at night. We had a medium size tent about 100 feet away from people ... a family of 6 or 7 people who were friendly. So to have sex we waited until we thought they were sleep.

    We're in the tent and he's eating me out.. i'm crouched/squating above him and i accidentally fart in his mouth.

    He blows it out and is like "geez that is nasty man." but continues munching away.

    I thought it was just funny as hell.. and so i thought it would be novel to fart in his mouth again one more time as an encore. Instead of farting ..a thin pressurized power stream of beered up dark liquified poo squirted out directly into his mouth. I am drunk and high and thus i thought it was the funniest "shit" ever. He leap up and tossed me off him... and i laughed my ass of.. he vomited all over the tent ...and then cursed to me to all out hell..."are you insane." and with a boyish gleam i was like "yeah." and then i hightailed it out of there and ran naked out into desert and he followed me.. shirtless and then got caught up on me and sat on me andfarted and it was just the craziest thing ever.. and although he was pissed he was laughing. He forgave me.. and i tell this story often and link it to the first one.. because i think it was karma.

    and it was a bitch.

    The family looked at us strange the next day and moved further away... and didn't invite us to dinner like they said they would. haha.
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    Aug 06, 2012 11:29 PM GMT
    OMG!!!..icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 07, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    xanadude said
    BAMBINO_REX saidthis is 2nd hand,

    but a friend of mine....his best friend found out his partner was cheating....because he found corn under his foreskin....


    yeah......icon_eek.gif


    I had an ex-roommate tell me a story like that about a "friend" of his. I question the validity of it now.


    maybe it's an urban legend....
  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Aug 08, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    BAMBINO_REX saidthis is 2nd hand,

    but a friend of mine....his best friend found out his partner was cheating....because he found corn under his foreskin....


    yeah......icon_eek.gif


    Sort of reminds me of a joke.

    A guy was eating out a girl he met online and in the middle of it he found something in his mouth. He spit it out and found that it was a piece of corn. He went back to his rug munching and discovered a pea. He stopped and asked "are you sick?" to which she replied, "no, but the guy before you was".

    icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 09, 2012 3:58 AM GMT
    You tell the best stories icon_biggrin.gif
  • tommyboi

    Posts: 64

    Aug 09, 2012 11:23 PM GMT
    If you play in a coal mine, you will get dirty.

    Just saying.

    Yeah it can be gross but your fucking or being fucked in the ass, shit happens.
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    Aug 11, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    JackKash saidI have "shitloads" of anal horror stories. Well 4 to be exact.


    Ok second one: I was 19 and dating "the love of my life" in Southern California and we loved to often trip to the Joshua Tree desert and smoke pot and drink beer and listen to Led Zep and Art Bell on the radio. He was into space and new age stuff. We star gazed and "our song" was Coldplays Yellow.I was young and crazy and did things that i most likely wouldn't do now.

    It was 4th of July weekend and Joshua Tree was packed. We hiked all day and then camped and drank and smoked ourselves out at night. We had a medium size tent about 100 feet away from people ... a family of 6 or 7 people who were friendly. So to have sex we waited until we thought they were sleep.

    We're in the tent and he's eating me out.. i'm crouched/squating above him and i accidentally fart in his mouth.

    He blows it out and is like "geez that is nasty man." but continues munching away.

    I thought it was just funny as hell.. and so i thought it would be novel to fart in his mouth again one more time as an encore. Instead of farting ..a thin pressurized power stream of beered up dark liquified poo squirted out directly into his mouth. I am drunk and high and thus i thought it was the funniest "shit" ever. He leap up and tossed me off him... and i laughed my ass of.. he vomited all over the tent ...and then cursed to me to all out hell..."are you insane." and with a boyish gleam i was like "yeah." and then i hightailed it out of there and ran naked out into desert and he followed me.. shirtless and then got caught up on me and sat on me andfarted and it was just the craziest thing ever.. and although he was pissed he was laughing. He forgave me.. and i tell this story often and link it to the first one.. because i think it was karma.

    and it was a bitch.

    The family looked at us strange the next day and moved further away... and didn't invite us to dinner like they said they would. haha.



    you do realize that karma has taken a dump on you for this earlier event and now everytime you fuck an ass you may be cursed with chocolate sauce on your dick upon pulling out