Highly Sensitive People(HSP)

  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Aug 06, 2012 1:55 AM GMT
    Ive always been very sensitive, sometimes too sensitive. I really read very deep into peoples words and actions. I over think things and Sometimes feel like I dont fit in this world.

    Its cool researching it online because I guess 15-20% or the people in the world are HSP and they are actually in tune with the world and experiences in a different way than people who arnt HSP.

    Any thoughts, personal stories or ideas?
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    Aug 06, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    A cousin calls me "an overly emotional gay man," one of my mom's friends said to me "most people don't feel about these things as deeply as you do," when I was having a really hard time dealing with a betrayal (still not over it--don't think I ever will), and online they probably just think I'm "butthurt" a lot. Fuck'm.

    I'm not so bad that I don't take care of my own needs, being fairly self-sufficient, actually, but it does cause some conflict because I'm more tuned into helping others than even allowing them to lift a finger to help me; which means in the past I've always had at least some needy friends, and then, when I could have used some help, all hell broke loose: that's when you really learn who your friends are and who was just using you for 50 years, that bitch! lolol.

    It used to piss my brother off when we were growing up. Something bad would happen. He'd get angry, I'd get depressed, then he'd get angry about me getting depressed. He neither understood nor tolerated it until he had a kid of his own who's just like me. So it wasn't until we were in our 40s/50s that my brother has been able to relate to me, being forced to face how I relate to the world because he loves his kid so much. The change in our relationship coinciding with the growth of his kid was so truly remarkable that even my mother commented on it in her last months of dying from Alzheimer's. Most of her brain had been destroyed yet even she could see the difference and struggled to form a sentence to ask me about it.

    There's upside and downside to all the overthinking. Obviously the upside is hopefully not fucking up too badly in life as you explore all the ramifications of a decision before making a move, but the downside can be not taking chances that might bring some enjoyment & benefit. That was probably my attraction to my first best bud of 10 years, who was a total risk taker. It was exciting to be around him. I got to enjoy things with him that I'd never have done on my own. But then, he wound up dying in an accident because of his risk taking, so I guess there's a down side to that side too.
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    Aug 06, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    I think as a kid I was a HSP, but it's not a masculine trait, and so I think subconsciously I suppressed it. HSP is usually associated with extremely high intelligence - not bragging - but it is. You just have a more acute sense of what's going on, how it affects you, and ultimately, how it affects other people. It's also positively correlated with introversion, which I am as well. That's all there is to it.

    I think I still am a sensitive person, but I rarely ever show that side. I encountered a lot racism growing up, because I am a minority, grew up in a small town, and was not stereotypical at all. I'm very book smart and act "white" (ugh...). And it had nothing to do with my sexuality because no one thinks I'm gay unless I tell them. Because of that, and never fitting in, I don't think having extremely emotional reactions would have accomplished much more than ostracize me even more.

    I tend to express how I feel through writing, rather than words anyway. I usually can't articulate really strong emotional feelings verbally without a lot of focusing on it. I'm not sure if it's a problem; I do overthink things, I do second guess myself a lot, but it's part of what makes you human.

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    Aug 06, 2012 10:49 AM GMT
    closer85 saidI think as a kid I was a HSP, but it's not a masculine trait, and so I think subconsciously I suppressed it. HSP is usually associated with extremely high intelligence - not bragging - but it is. You just have a more acute sense of what's going on, how it affects you, and ultimately, how it affects other people. It's also positively correlated with introversion, which I am as well. That's all there is to it.

    ...

    I tend to express how I feel through writing, rather than words anyway. I usually can't articulate really strong emotional feelings verbally without a lot of focusing on it. I'm not sure if it's a problem; I do overthink things, I do second guess myself a lot, but it's part of what makes you human.




    This. Soooo this.

    I grew up in a family where I think this was a common trait, at least with my mother/myself anyway, but we often loveingly communicated through casual, biting humour- and this was a good and healthy balance to being a relatively introverted HSP- and now i'm not nearly so emotionally highly sensitive (at least consciously), but I still have a very perceptive external intuition (hold tight all my INTP's! brap lol) =]
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    Aug 06, 2012 11:14 AM GMT
    METAMORPH said
    closer85 saidI think as a kid I was a HSP, but it's not a masculine trait, and so I think subconsciously I suppressed it. HSP is usually associated with extremely high intelligence - not bragging - but it is. You just have a more acute sense of what's going on, how it affects you, and ultimately, how it affects other people. It's also positively correlated with introversion, which I am as well. That's all there is to it.

    ...

    I tend to express how I feel through writing, rather than words anyway. I usually can't articulate really strong emotional feelings verbally without a lot of focusing on it. I'm not sure if it's a problem; I do overthink things, I do second guess myself a lot, but it's part of what makes you human.




    This. Soooo this.

    I grew up in a family where I think this was a common trait, at least with my mother/myself anyway, but we often loveingly communicated through casual, biting humour- and this was a good and healthy balance to being a relatively introverted HSP- and now i'm not highly sensitive, in an emotional sense at least, but I still have a very perceptive external intuition (hold tight all my INTP's! brap lol) =]


    ha!

    I am an INTJ =)
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    Aug 06, 2012 11:21 AM GMT
    closer85 said
    METAMORPH said
    closer85 saidI think as a kid I was a HSP, but it's not a masculine trait, and so I think subconsciously I suppressed it. HSP is usually associated with extremely high intelligence - not bragging - but it is. You just have a more acute sense of what's going on, how it affects you, and ultimately, how it affects other people. It's also positively correlated with introversion, which I am as well. That's all there is to it.

    ...

    I tend to express how I feel through writing, rather than words anyway. I usually can't articulate really strong emotional feelings verbally without a lot of focusing on it. I'm not sure if it's a problem; I do overthink things, I do second guess myself a lot, but it's part of what makes you human.




    This. Soooo this.

    I grew up in a family where I think this was a common trait, at least with my mother/myself anyway, but we often loveingly communicated through casual, biting humour- and this was a good and healthy balance to being a relatively introverted HSP- and now i'm not highly sensitive, in an emotional sense at least, but I still have a very perceptive external intuition (hold tight all my INTP's! brap lol) =]


    ha!

    I am an INTJ =)


    We're almost personality twins, although you're, apparently, just much more organised and pre-planned than my type- lucky sod- the western employment world is designed for you ;] lol
  • YJacket

    Posts: 146

    Aug 06, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    Everything is a freaking condition.
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    Aug 06, 2012 11:46 AM GMT
    YJacket saidEverything is a freaking condition.


    I see this trait more as an evolved mutant power than anything else.
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    Aug 06, 2012 11:50 AM GMT
    x-men-4-3-phoenix.jpg

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  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Aug 06, 2012 12:04 PM GMT
    Really interesting to hear all you the guy's stories and ideas about it. So much of what you wrote about I can completely relate to.

    I knew when I was a kid that I was very sensitive and felt like I was a little different somehow. Im in tune with things that I sometimes felt others wernt...like other peoples feelings and I always tried to figure out peoples mood and how they were feeling just by looking at their behavior.

    Sometimes I worry too much if someone is mad at me or if they really like me by analyzing their behavior. I an actually overthink it.

    When it comes to social situations im trying to analyze how everyone feels towards each other by the way they are interacting with each. Its almost like situations when im around a group of friends because some sort of problem im trying to figure out, like whats the dynamic between those 2 friends.

    Ive always had something weird with hearing too. When I was younger my mom said certain noises would hurt my ears even if it wasnt that lous. At my age today certain noises make me anxious and I also can hear things a lot of the time that others cant....I cant hear someones phone vibrating in the car when the music is on and people are always like "how the hell did you hear that"

    I dont know, im rambling but I honestly feel like im kind of an outsider in this world in some way. Im an artist too so Im always looking at colors in peoples skin as they talk to me and looking at every stuation and thinking that would be a god composition for a painting....blah blah blah im a weirdo
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    Aug 06, 2012 12:45 PM GMT
    HSP? Really?

    As a kid I was very quiet and thoughtful. That made me ... a quiet, thoughtful kid. I don't think it was some sort of extra-special superpower.

    In fact, I think I was missing a natural social gregariousness, something I've had to train myself to do to a certain extent as an adult. And I'm pretty good at it now. Except when I'm not, lol.

    We all have our personality characteristics - good and bad. I think it's good to appreciate what you have, but some perspective is nice, too.
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    Aug 06, 2012 1:09 PM GMT


    I've found there are HSPs that are that way towards self, and not others, HSPs that are that way towards others, but NOT self, and HSPs that are both.


    I think it can be an enormous gift if it's tempered, and an enormous curse if it isn't.
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    Aug 06, 2012 1:33 PM GMT
    HSP here!
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    Aug 06, 2012 1:43 PM GMT
    Emotionally and tactile sensitive right here w/ the occasional tactile flashback which enables me to remember events that happened decades ago. Yeah....... I'm awesome icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 06, 2012 1:44 PM GMT
    HSP here. icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 06, 2012 1:49 PM GMT
    You kidding me, the only reason I've learned to have a slick back with thick skin is cause of my HSP... somethings still get to me, but I've learned to process them better, so my emotions and reasoning down take me to some unhealthy state of mind cause my sister made a funny gay joke, or someone didn't notice me saying "hello". HSP had me in a world of hurt, but thankfully it took me from complete self involvement to realizing other people feel that way too. Now I try to help other people learn some of the tools that help me, to help them, help themselves out their own quicksand state of minds.
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    Aug 06, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    That's interesting. I didn't think INTJ and HSP would go together but I can see how it makes sense.

    as an INTJ I analyze a lot of stuff. So I can be am HSP in a sense that I pay way more attention to how something is said compared to what's being said but isn't that something that intuitive people do anyways?

    (although i wouldnt waste time doing that online. too exhausting ) lol
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    Aug 06, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    I keep getting ISFP everytime I take that test. But I'll tell you something, the sad dog commercials where they play "In the arms of the angels" make me tear up, but I truly believe a lot of people are assholes and I have a hard time caring about their shit.
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    Aug 06, 2012 2:30 PM GMT
    Daas saidI keep getting ISFP everytime I take that test. But I'll tell you something, the sad dog commercials where they play "In the arms of the angels" make me tear up, but I truly believe a lot of people are assholes and I have a hard time caring about their shit.


    A good friend of mine is an ISFP and he's practically the same way. Although he's a much bigger softy than he lets on.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 06, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    Quit your whining, you damn babies!icon_evil.gif

    jk, I'm the same way.icon_cry.gif
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Aug 06, 2012 5:10 PM GMT
    Don't read into people actions and words too much. It will drive you crazy.
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    Aug 06, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    How does everyone know they're HSP? Did you guys get diagnosed or what?
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    Aug 06, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    Well, everyone here knows that I am, but I am honestly trying to learn from my mistakes and do better.

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    Aug 06, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    This thread made me cry. icon_sad.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 06, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    Anduru saidHow does everyone know they're HSP? Did you guys get diagnosed or what?


    They thought it said ESP--but (obviously) they don't have that either. They're just fishing...icon_rolleyes.gif