In desperate need of relationship advice

  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 09, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    Ive never been in a relationship before and this guy I met said he wants to be with me and we have talked when we can, the only thing is he has no phone. And I told him of the difficulties and insecurities about trust since he wants a relationship while he has no phone. And I have been up front and honest with him since day 1 about everything. And I even told him the times when he failed to communicate with me I did cam and chat with others but no matter how honest I was being he gets pissed off and even now he just got his phone but the honesty was too much and i don't know if he will come back. I really liked this guy we talked about everything and he was going to visit me in 2 weeks and I tried to reassure him I am a good person at heart and didn't realize that camming was dangerous i just did it for fun and I had alot of insecurities about meeting people so i used that as a tool which is how I ironically met him. I dedicated my whole profile to him and think and talk about him daily and just hope he is alright. I just want to know what I should do since i can't get over him from our limited chats I just really want to prove to him and his family that I want someone like him to be there for.

    P.S. his name is cesar he even got mad when I told him on the same day I went to go eat yogurt with his friend that I met online and the whole conversation was about him and his friend talked about his relationships, but cesar thinks that I like him which is clearly wrong! I feel like no matter what I do he is always jealous and doesnt trust me. I smiled the whole time knowing I got to talk about him and even told his friend that I want to be stronger to take care of him. How would he ever think I want someone else!!??? and I can't even talk with him since he wouldn't give me his cell.

    Please give me advice.
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    I know my situation sounds ludicrous and absolutely ridiculous but I would appreciate it if someone could please help me out and be the voice of reason?
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    Aug 10, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    firstly, stop camming with other men.
    secondly, stop camming with other men.
    your "relationship" is much too new to be bringing men into it already"

    every guy needs to be assured that he is the center of the other person's affection. right now you are doing a piss poor job.
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 12:49 AM GMT
    I understand that now I use to do it since I was 16 because I felt that was the only way to feel wanted or needed and my parents never got me help or anything when i came out to them when I was younger so i was convinced it was good for me however, by him not having his phone he made me feel like he was playing me and that he wasn't real like all the other guys who claim they wanted me.
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    Aug 10, 2012 12:57 AM GMT
    MIS37 saidI understand that now I use to do it since I was 16 because I felt that was the only way to feel wanted or needed and my parents never got me help or anything when i came out to them when I was younger so i was convinced it was good for me however, by him not having his phone he made me feel like he was playing me and that he wasn't real like all the other guys who claim they wanted me.


    have you met in person as yet?
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 12:57 AM GMT
    I have definitely learned from this but I was just so worried about him being real since he never had a phone and he said he would visit at the end of the month and i don't know how to trust that but I know now camming won't heal anything and I just feel really bad about all this.
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    MIS37 saidI understand that now I use to do it since I was 16 because I felt that was the only way to feel wanted or needed and my parents never got me help or anything when i came out to them when I was younger so i was convinced it was good for me however, by him not having his phone he made me feel like he was playing me and that he wasn't real like all the other guys who claim they wanted me.


    have you met in person as yet?



    no I haven't he said last time he would come at the end of july but he couldn't due to his mom having a heat stroke and she had to go to the hospital and then he said he was going to be here in two weeks but I just wasn't sure if he was playing me...
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:00 AM GMT
    MIS37 saidI have definitely learned from this but I was just so worried about him being real since he never had a phone and he said he would visit at the end of the month and i don't know how to trust that but I know now camming won't heal anything and I just feel really bad about all this.


    The virtual world is still the virtual world. It sounds like you're all worked up over the idea of someone. Wait to meet him in person and then assess how things are.

    Also, if he doesn't have a phone, you can't Skype call him ? Call a landline ?
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 1:02 AM GMT
    No he doesn't have a webcam since his brother broke it and now we haven't talked in a week because his friend said that he was heart broken and such and he said that we were BREAKING UP and i had no idea we were together, but apparently he wanted to move fast and i told him we should wait and plan.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    1, you are not in a relationship
    2. you have not met as yet, how will you know that you will have any chemistry in person?
    3. you both are living in a virtual fantasy world. when reality meets the harsh light of day you may not feel so enraptured.

    my advice to you is to meet in person before making declarations of love.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 10, 2012 1:16 AM GMT
    so you've never met him.... and you think you're in a relationship? that's the desperate part, and it's also the problem.
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 1:16 AM GMT
    Thats exactly what I said to him that why do you want to move here and settle for me? what if you don't like me? and he just deflected those questions and just said I really want you and we are good at communication and he said that if i keep doubting maybe we shouldn't be together.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    Shawty what yo name is?
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 1:19 AM GMT
    calibro saidso you've never met him.... and you think you're in a relationship? that's the desperate part, and it's also the problem.


    I wanted a relationship apparently he thought we were already in one when I said we should meet first! I'm just hurt he thinks I did something wrong despite the fact I was honest about everything from my doubts of him not having a phone, I just was envious to see if we would work out in a relationship
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:24 AM GMT
    Cesar sounds like a controlling manipulative bitch that preys on young inexperienced guys. He makes you miserable by telling you all your mistakes and how you made him so mad.

    My advice: RUN for the hills and don't look back. He gets off on leading other guys on.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:27 AM GMT
    MIS37 saidThats exactly what I said to him that why do you want to move here and settle for me? what if you don't like me? and he just deflected those questions and just said I really want you and we are good at communication and he said that if i keep doubting maybe we shouldn't be together.



    MIS37, he said, "we are good at communication" yet from what you've said here in this topic, he,
    A) jumps to conclusions about you
    B) makes assumptions and cuts off communications with you

  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 1:27 AM GMT
    bhp91126 saidCesar sounds like a controlling manipulative bitch that preys on young inexperienced guys. He makes you miserable by telling you all your mistakes and how you made him so mad.

    My advice: RUN for the hills and don't look back. He gets off on leading other guys on.


    Thats what I thought at first man but I looked at what he's been through with his ex and his dad and I feel sorry for him and I told him I want to be the reason he can smile everyday so he can forget all that pain and I can just bring him tranquility, believe me I thought the same but part of me still can't get over him and I just worry if he is ok.
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 1:29 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    MIS37 saidThats exactly what I said to him that why do you want to move here and settle for me? what if you don't like me? and he just deflected those questions and just said I really want you and we are good at communication and he said that if i keep doubting maybe we shouldn't be together.



    MIS37, he said, "we are good at communication" yet from what you've said here in this topic, he,
    A) jumps to conclusions about you
    B) makes assumptions and cuts off communications with you



    could it be that he is insecure and has been hurt by many guys in his past? if so, I just want to make him feel secure that he won't ever lose me however I need validation that he is real.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:30 AM GMT
    mess
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Aug 10, 2012 1:38 AM GMT
    eightball saidmess


    I know your telling me...
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    Aug 10, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    MIS37 saidThats exactly what I said to him that why do you want to move here and settle for me? what if you don't like me? and he just deflected those questions and just said I really want you and we are good at communication and he said that if i keep doubting maybe we shouldn't be together.


    Hey mate,

    Sounds like this guy is not only insecure, but very controlling as well. I too am in a new relationship, and if my new beau says "I'd like to hang out with friends tonight," I'm ok with it... Have a blast!

    Relationships have to have some level of trust. If you guys haven't met yet, and he's already showing you a jealous, insecure side, and is ready to move to your town for you... Red flag.

    Cheers,

    Sean