I was outted

  • SoCalSun

    Posts: 46

    Aug 10, 2012 1:55 AM GMT
    A few weeks ago I received a text from one of my friends saying that this guy who I know from school, but have no friend relationship with or anything, told him about me being bisexual. At first I didn't care, since I am slowly becoming getting comfortable coming out to some people or just saying yes in case anyone asks. The more I think about it, it bothers me, since this has been something I struggled with for years and to hear someone talking about my personal life just rubs me the wrong way. I don't know whether to confront him about it or just let it be. Any tips?
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    Kick his ass.
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    Aug 10, 2012 2:02 AM GMT
    I would just let it be, unless you specifically want to be discreet. Usually, people will talk about you, so let them. That's not something you can control anyway.
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    Aug 10, 2012 2:24 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidKick his ass.
    Let him have it! With smartly chosen words, yelling, or skittles or fist of fury! Okay, not so much for the last one... but stand your ground, and own the fact that you're Out now and Gay... you still have to Live.
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    Aug 10, 2012 3:07 AM GMT
    i have a tip, remove the "str8" from your UN, cuz you ain't.

    self-loathing is not a good look...
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    Aug 10, 2012 3:33 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidKick his ass.
  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Aug 10, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    JR_RJ said
    paulflexes saidKick his ass.
    Let him have it! With smartly chosen words, yelling, or skittles or fist of fury! Okay, not so much for the last one... but stand your ground, and own the fact that you're Out now and Gay... you still have to Live.


    ...skittles of fury? Are they going really fast or something?
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    Aug 10, 2012 5:16 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidKick his ass.
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    Aug 10, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    I don't know what I would do if I was in your situation. I'm not out and not ready to be. But people talk, sometimes its truth sometimes its lies. If you want to you could just say that kid is a liar. But you are who you are and the truth comes out eventually. Again its easy for me to say not being in your shoes... best of luck to ya buddy.
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    Aug 10, 2012 5:21 AM GMT
    Let it roll off your back, I suppose. People talk. People always talk.
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    Aug 10, 2012 5:23 AM GMT
    you're too cute to be straight
    people will figure it out sooner or later icon_razz.gif
  • KarlosSuave

    Posts: 66

    Aug 10, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    Have a conversation with him is really the only way also do befriend him he sounds like a drama gossiping bitch
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    Aug 10, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidKick his ass.


    yup.

    if you crack his jaw its pretty safe to say that nobody will think twice about putting your personal business on blast like that again and they for damn sure wont ridicule you for having sex with guys. Make an example out of 1 and the rest fall in line.

  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Aug 10, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    NOOBSTR8 saidA few weeks ago I received a text from one of my friends saying that this guy who I know from school, but have no friend relationship with or anything, told him about me being bisexual. At first I didn't care, since I am slowly becoming getting comfortable coming out to some people or just saying yes in case anyone asks. The more I think about it, it bothers me, since this has been something I struggled with for years and to hear someone talking about my personal life just rubs me the wrong way. I don't know whether to confront him about it or just let it be. Any tips?


    Get over it. You are not hetero. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 10, 2012 5:39 AM GMT
    Fuck him in the ass .. revenge sex
  • mtneerman

    Posts: 476

    Aug 10, 2012 5:42 AM GMT
    This happened to me at my job once by another gay guy, I found a nationl coming out day t-shirt ans wore it to work and let the guy know what I thought of him in private.
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    Aug 10, 2012 5:44 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidFuck him in the ass .. revenge sex


    1249977126_dramatic_black_woman.gif
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    Aug 10, 2012 5:46 AM GMT
    I think you'll find out that it's not such a big deal once you're more out. I know when you're first starting it can be incredibly irritating, but in the end you'll realize you were over reacting.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11829

    Aug 10, 2012 6:02 AM GMT
    I'd confront him by saying my personal live choices are none of your fucking business..Do it for yourself...You'll feel better and your nuts will grow a couple more pounds to boot.
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    Aug 10, 2012 6:04 AM GMT
    tori-spelling-slap.gif

    This is what I did to the bitch who did it to me.
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    Aug 10, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    Damn, Dave...spill it, don't add any lines to that handsome face, holding the anger in...
    Think I would have freaked if outed sooner than I was ready, but then again might have been nice to get it out sooner too.
    Guess, time will tell with you, maybe you'll actually up-date us in a few months.
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    Aug 10, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    Have you ever done anything to make people assume that your gay or bisexual? I think this dude maybe has a thing for you? Why would he be the one who starts the rumor?
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    Aug 10, 2012 3:43 PM GMT
    daviddoublebay saidGet used to being fucked by other people now..... and you will continue to let it "slide of your back" for the rest of your life.

    If you want to fall into the "Please fuck me" category (not in a good way)... then do nothing and accept it.

    I'm sure the next 3,000 times you accept getting fucked, it will progressively become easier to accept.

    (I'm not saying this to be mean or negative, okay?!)



    Why am i so turned on right now..??..icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 10, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    I once accidentally outed a guy. I had switched schools after the friend I confided in outed me. I decided I would never live in the closet again. In changing schools I decided I would not become friends with anyone unless they knew me to be gay and but for one exception I've lived like this ever since. Then I was 20; it was 1977.

    I had moved in with an obvious gay guy who had an even more obvious gay lover. Seriously flamboyant. The lover belonged to a frat and I was becoming friendly with one of his frat brothers who was over our place all the time. One day I said how cool I thought it was that he was so accepting of the flaming guy and our conversation continued as normal.

    That night I found out what I'd done. "You let the cat out of the bag" was what he told me. He didn't seem mad though. Maybe even relieved though he still had issues to work out. I was kind of shocked because, as I mentioned, I had no idea that everyone in the world didn't know this guy was gay. Turns out he remained accepted by his frat so there wasn't a problem. But I still felt pretty terrible about what I had unknowingly done, particularly since a friend had purposely done the same thing to me.

    People talk. Get over it.

    But also some people love to live in that closet. And that can be even creepier than people talking.

    I had another situation with my roommate then that bothered me even more so. We decided to bring in another roommate and I didn't grasp everything at the time, at how underhanded people could be, but he asked me to not say anything about us being gay, that he wanted to bring in a str8 roommate. I had issues with this but I wasn't strong enough to say fuck that or to just pack up and leave. So I let the situation develop. It was horrible.

    We interviewed potential roommates and a really nice guy applied. Plus he was totally hot. I wanted to tell him that we were gay but my roommate insisted that we don't. I stupidly bowed to peer pressure and went back into the closet. He wound up seducing the guy while wrestling one night, which, obviously, outed me as well. I was so pissed off at this guy. I should have been pissed off at myself to allow that to happen. Nothing like that has happened since in my life.

    Maybe it is right that people talk. Certainly I should have.
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    Aug 10, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    I generally think it's not cool to out someone, but my personal view (at least in countries where you're not going to get killed for being gay) is that this is not nearly as big a deal as some make it. When we take such a strong anti-outing position, I think we're implicitly acknowledging that gay is bad. And it's not.

    Anyway, while it would be nice of this guy to have kept your secret, no one else is obligated to keep our secrets for us. That doesn't mean you have to approve of it or even be nice to him. But what's done is done. Confront him if you feel like it but realize that if you do so, you're doing it only to get your dislike of him off your chest. Not that that's a bad thing.