Letter from Gay Son to Romney-Supporting Dad:

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    Aug 10, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    (Found this on Facebook and had to share....)

    Dad,

    I saw your recent post on Facebook “liking” Mitt Romney and had to write. (Admittedly, I’m still getting used to my 66 year-old father using Facebook, but given what I’m about to write, I assure you I’m quite supportive of it.)

    Though your public support for Romney doesn’t surprise me, given how open you’ve been about your dislike of President Obama, it does bother me. Since coming out to you and mom nineteen years ago, I’ve watched you vote for the Republican candidates in every major race. Save for the occasional mealtime argument or sarcastic Fox News barb, I’ve held my tongue, despite the hurt and anger that came from watching you vote for a party that has made a sport out of demonizing gay and lesbian people, like me, for political gain. I did so because I never had a solid enough argument that the Democratic Party was wholly different. They often stopped short of institutionalizing discrimination of gays, but were sadly lax on standing on principle and advocating for its eradication. Until now.

    For the first time in our nation’s history, a U.S. President and his party have publicly stated that gays and lesbians are equal citizens and should be such under the law. I know you’re aware that Obama believes gays and lesbians, like me, should have the rights and responsibilities of marriage and that the 2012 Democratic Party Platform will include marriage equality as one of its tenets. You will never know what it is to be gay in this world at this moment, but I’d bet at some point in your life you’ve known how it felt to have your essential worth validated by someone with authority. I can’t overstate the power of having my president and his party say to me, and the nation, that I am not less than, but equal to, and validate my inherent right to pursue my life with liberty and unimpeded happiness. Never before has this happened. So, never before have I made the argument that you should vote for the Democrat. But, today’s a new day.

    Four months ago, I sat at my younger brother’s wedding and watched you well up, speaking publicly with pride for the man he’s become and the woman he chose. His life, though certain to have unexpected turns ahead, has a clear path, one available to him simply because of his sexual orientation at birth. Mine has never been so clear. Oftentimes, being gay feels like being a salmon swimming upstream. Our relationships aren’t supported by tradition or institution, any models we may have remain hidden, as openness invites derision, and the pressures to carve a life out with another person, minimally as equally affected by the ever-present fear, instilled in us from our earliest memories that we’re different and unlovable and bad, can often be too much to bear. And yet, not always. The resiliency of my community, in the face of such misunderstanding and hate, is astonishing and inspiring. They’ve taught me to think twice before underestimating the will of the human spirit in its slow march toward progress, whatever the circumstances.

    I’m almost forty. Both of my younger brothers are married, enjoying all the rights and responsibilities of that government-issued status. Do you want that for me? Do you believe I should have someone beside me on life’s journey, legally recognized as my spouse, able to visit me in the hospital, able to make my end-of-life decisions, with whom I’m able to build a financially interdependent life? I have to believe you do. I have to believe you’re too good a man not to. Because if you don’t… If, like the candidate you’re supporting, you believe marriage should only be between one man and one woman, I feel sorry for us both: you, because it means you’re on the wrong side of history and your own son’s happiness and me, because it means my father does believe I’m “less than.”

    In any other election, given any other choice, I’d stay quiet. If you, and others like you, wanted to believe the worst about Obama – a good man, trying to do good work – and vote against your interests (Romney’s tax and Medicare plans won’t help you), I’d shake my head in wonder and watch you do it anyway. But this isn’t any other election. This election presents a clear choice between two people whose policy beliefs directly affect the course of my life. Let me be clear: A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote against me. There is no argument to counter that fact.

    You might want to argue that you’re not a single-issue voter, but when the single-issue is your own son’s equality under the law, I wouldn’t recommend that argument. You might want to argue that, because you live in New York State, your vote won’t ultimately matter since Obama will carry the state anyway. You’re correct. He will. In that way, I suppose, your vote won’t matter. But it matters to me. You might want to argue just because you don’t like the idea of your son telling you what you ought to do. But, whatever else, you know I’m a good man. It’s been said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing;” and I’m a good man who’s never been good at that.

    Will I change your mind? I hope so. I’m sure Mom would tell me it’s a lost cause. And maybe she’s right. But that would be sad. Because it might be nice to one day have my father stand up at my wedding, realizing he helped make it happen.

    Your Son
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    Aug 10, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    Beautiful. But, don't hold your breath.

  • omgazn

    Posts: 342

    Aug 10, 2012 6:27 AM GMT
    Wow this was well written. I need to write one of these in chinese to my grandparents. Anyone here know how to write chinese?
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    Aug 10, 2012 11:55 AM GMT
    That was well written and definitely a brave thing to say to a father.
    I can't imagine the anxiety in waiting for a response furthermore reading it.
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    Aug 10, 2012 12:02 PM GMT
    Change the addressee from "Dad" to "RJ conservaposse members" and this could be sent by us "Liberal hens" with very few changes. icon_sad.gif
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Aug 10, 2012 12:07 PM GMT
    Very inspirational. It takes alot of will to say all those things, but I suppose this is an attempt at doing what is deem proper from father to son.
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Aug 10, 2012 12:07 PM GMT
    Very inspirational. It takes alot of will to say all those things, but I suppose this is an attempt at doing what is deem proper from father to son.
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    Aug 10, 2012 12:16 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidChange the addressee from "Dad" to "RJ conservaposse members" and this could be sent by us "Liberal hens" with very few changes. icon_sad.gif


    But Bobby you are a father who spent most of your life straight; and not one us Bona Fide Homosexuals; your kids must be so proude of you........
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    Aug 10, 2012 12:29 PM GMT
    To his father he writes:

    " This election presents a clear choice between two people whose policy beliefs directly affect the course of my life. Let me be clear: A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote against me. There is no argument to counter that fact."


    "A VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY IS A VOTE AGAINST ME."


    And as he adds, "There is no argument to counter that fact."
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 10, 2012 12:31 PM GMT
    tru_blu_auzzie said
    Art_Deco saidChange the addressee from "Dad" to "RJ conservaposse members" and this could be sent by us "Liberal hens" with very few changes. icon_sad.gif


    But Bobby you are a father who spent most of your life straight; and not one us Bona Fide Homosexuals; your kids must be so proude of you........


    Why degrade him for coming out? You're so twisted and self-serving. You accused me of emotional blackmail once, because I said a vote for the republican party is a betrayal to the gay community. But you have no decency or integrity. You are a traitor--a fat, stupid, shit-grinning traitor.icon_mad.gif
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    Aug 10, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    Dads Response:

    I'm socially liberal and a fiscal conservative.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 10, 2012 12:35 PM GMT
    msuNtx saidDads Response:

    I'm socially liberal and a fiscal conservative.


    Anyone who thinks republicans are fiscally conservative are delusional. Look what happened when Bush was president.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 10, 2012 12:42 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    tru_blu_auzzie said
    Art_Deco saidChange the addressee from "Dad" to "RJ conservaposse members" and this could be sent by us "Liberal hens" with very few changes. icon_sad.gif


    But Bobby you are a father who spent most of your life straight; and not one us Bona Fide Homosexuals; your kids must be so proude of you........


    Why degrade him for coming out? You're so twisted and self-serving. You accused me of emotional blackmail once, because I said a vote for the republican party is a betrayal to the gay community. But you have no decency or integrity. You are a traitor--a fat, stupid, shit-grinning traitor.icon_mad.gif


    Well it was Art who started it,and he got low and dirty thus I now just talk back. It was also Art who has attempted to repress one on gay issues when he is a bisexual; a half brother, and I am a Bona Fide Homosexual who has been out, open and truthful from a young age.

    But at the same time. I don't care if gay marriage passes or not, as it will make not once once of difference to my life or relationship, so I win either way; yet I fully support Civil Unions. This also allows one to focus on more important issues too. What right does a gay child have to dictate to a parent on how to vote anyhow; just because they are gay. My vote is my vote and I will use it how ever I feel fit, just as you will too; thats the blessing of living in the free world and not under a dictatorship.

    PS and Arts even fatter and shorter tooicon_wink.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 10, 2012 12:55 PM GMT
    Well done and composed for sure. What he said certainly made sense.

    For some it isn't that easy. The father may contend he is s multi issue voter
    and that the repub approach speaks more to his concerns. You would hope he would factor in the son's concerns and viewpoints.. .of course, it sounds like
    the father's history doesn't provide for flexibility.

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    Aug 10, 2012 1:00 PM GMT
    tru_blu_auzzie said
    HottJoe said
    tru_blu_auzzie said
    Art_Deco saidChange the addressee from "Dad" to "RJ conservaposse members" and this could be sent by us "Liberal hens" with very few changes. icon_sad.gif


    But Bobby you are a father who spent most of your life straight; and not one us Bona Fide Homosexuals; your kids must be so proude of you........


    Why degrade him for coming out? You're so twisted and self-serving. You accused me of emotional blackmail once, because I said a vote for the republican party is a betrayal to the gay community. But you have no decency or integrity. You are a traitor--a fat, stupid, shit-grinning traitor.icon_mad.gif


    Well it was Art who started it,and he got low and dirty thus I now just talk back. It was also Art who has attempted to repress one on gay issues when he is a bisexual; a half brother, and I am a Bona Fide Homosexual who has been out, open and truthful from a young age.

    But at the same time. I don't care if gay marriage passes or not, as it will make not once once of difference to my life or relationship, so I win either way; yet I fully support Civil Unions. This also allows one to focus on more important issues too. What right does a gay child have to dictate to a parent on how to vote anyhow; just because they are gay. My vote is my vote and I will use it how ever I feel fit, just as you will too; that the blessing of living in the free world and not under a dictatorship.

    PS and Arts even fatter and shorter tooicon_wink.gif


    Civil Unions are the you get some rights but not all the rights everyone else gets. Unless Civil Unions give us the same rights it is still treats us as second class citizens.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 10, 2012 1:02 PM GMT
    tru_blu_auzzie said
    HottJoe said
    tru_blu_auzzie said
    Art_Deco saidChange the addressee from "Dad" to "RJ conservaposse members" and this could be sent by us "Liberal hens" with very few changes. icon_sad.gif


    But Bobby you are a father who spent most of your life straight; and not one us Bona Fide Homosexuals; your kids must be so proude of you........


    Why degrade him for coming out? You're so twisted and self-serving. You accused me of emotional blackmail once, because I said a vote for the republican party is a betrayal to the gay community. But you have no decency or integrity. You are a traitor--a fat, stupid, shit-grinning traitor.icon_mad.gif


    Well it was Art who started it,and he got low and dirty thus I now just talk back. It was also Art who has attempted to repress one on gay issues when he is a bisexual; a half brother, and I am a Bona Fide Homosexual who has been out, open and truthful from a young age.

    But at the same time. I don't care if gay marriage passes or not, as it will make not once once of difference to my life or relationship, so I win either way; yet I fully support Civil Unions. This also allows one to focus on more important issues too. What right does a gay child have to dictate to a parent on how to vote anyhow; just because they are gay. My vote is my vote and I will use it how ever I feel fit, just as you will too; that the blessing of living in the free world and not under a dictatorship.

    PS and Arts even fatter and shorter tooicon_wink.gif


    You fail to see that the marriage issue is about equality. Maybe in Oz you already feel you have equality, but in America you would feel uncomfortable walking around in public holding your hubby's hand. There's a stigma here which is institutionalized, and we're trying to change that so we can be legally recognized. I utterly fail to understand why you stand in the way of progress. You're like a slave who keeps giving himself away because he's too timid, weak or broken to stand up to his master.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:22 PM GMT
    First off, I believe this is a wonderfully written letter from a son to his father to make him understand how many gays interpret a vote for Mitt Romney versus Barack Obama in the upcoming election. My problem with it, however, is that it whittles this election down to only one issue, albeit an important one for gays seeking equality, when there are soooo many other pressing issues facing our nation at this point in time.

    Maybe it is because I live in a state (MA) where gay marriage is already legal, and I don't have the same obstacles to equality as people living in the other 44 states (and outside of Washington DC) where it is not. I would point out to the constant critics of the "conservaposse" that gay marriage actually became the rule of law in MA early on during Mitt Romney's tenure as governor of MA (thru a Supreme Court ruling), and while he objected to it and did everything within his power to stop it from happening, his efforts failed during the majority of his tenure, showing how little influence the executive office has on such matters. As a registered Republican, I do NOT support my party's stance on the issue, and wish they would be less hypocritical when it comes to matters of personal choice, including gay marriage and abortion, when they purport to fight for smaller government. But again, these are not issues that I have to deal with given my state of residence. I also believe that the momentum of the acceptance of gay marriage has reached a point where it cannot be turned back.

    At the end of the day, the President of the United States has little impact on the matter of gay marriage, and while President Obama has (finally) come out in support of it after having already achieved the highest political office in the land, have we all forgotten that his stance going into the last election was that marriage WAS between a man and a woman? If Obama's view on the topic has since "evolved", is it so hard to believe that Romney's won't change as well once he is sitting in the Oval Office (especially now that the Mormon church has itself altered its views)? A significant amount of pandering goes on in politics once politicians are elected, and views and policies often moderate once a President is elected. Obama is a clear example of this. Even if one were to argue that Romney would fight for a U.S. Constitutional ban on gay marriage, we all know that the Democrats and moderate Republican and independents would was such a sufficient battle that it is HIGHLY unlikely that it would ever happen. That is the beauty of the democratic government created by our forefathers.

    In my mind, the most pressing issues we face during this election are economic ones, and this is arguably an area in which President Obama has failed or just not done enough. We're running out of time to fix our economy, and four more years of failed policies could prove disastrous. You can argue that the Republicans blocked much of what he wanted and tried to do, but that is mostly because Obama and the Democrats refused to compromise or find a middle ground, instead trying to push thru policies of the extreme left in a nation that tends to be populated more center-right. Obama refused to take into account the objections of the business leaders of the country who, at the end of the day, are the ones hiring people that will ultimately reduce unemployment levels in this country. You can fault the Republicans for trying to implement business-friendly policies, but others would blame Obama and the Democrats for pushing un-business friendly policies at a time of great uncertainty about the direction of the economy. And anyone who understands economics will confirm, uncertainty in business leads to less hiring. We have one of the highest corporate tax rates in the world, a fact that the critics of outsourcing conveniently ignore or forget. Reducing those tax rates will encourage companies to bring some their manufacturing back onshore (we have the most skilled workforce in the world, and many companies that have off shored their operations have learned this the hard way, some ultimately bringing the more critical and difficult aspects of their businesses back to the US, despite the implications of higher corporate taxes on profits). If you doubt this, look at the UK which also has high corporate and other taxes....manufacturing is almost non-existant in that country and they're now almost completely reliant upon the services industry.

    I'll stop now and let the flame wars begin. My biggest gripe with the people on this forum are that they are extremely to the right or extremely to the left. Moderate policies will result in compromise in Washington, and people need to be rational about what needs to be done, when and how. Our current president has shown a complete misunderstanding of this concept.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:24 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidChange the addressee from "Dad" to "RJ conservaposse members"


    Or 'gay republicans' generally. The letter encapsulates why gay people (or for that matter, anyone with a social conscience) should not touch the Republican Party with a bargepole.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:25 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidChange the addressee from "Dad" to "RJ conservaposse members" and this could be sent by us "Liberal hens" with very few changes. icon_sad.gif
    I'm a "Liberal Hen" icon_eek.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:26 PM GMT
    BornJuly4th saidFirst off, I believe this is a wonderfully written letter from a son to his father to make him understand how many gays interpret a vote for Mitt Romney versus Barack Obama in the upcoming election. My problem with it, however, is that it whittles this election down to only one issue, albeit an important one for gays seeking equality, when there are soooo many other pressing issues facing our nation at this point in time.

    Maybe it is because I live in a state (MA) where gay marriage is already legal, and I don't have the same obstacles to equality as people living in the other 44 states (and outside of Washington DC) where it is not. I would point out to the constant critics of the "conservaposse" that gay marriage actually became the rule of law in MA early on during Mitt Romney's tenure as governor of MA (thru a Supreme Court ruling), and while he objected to it and did everything within his power to stop it from happening, his efforts failed during the majority of his tenure, showing how little influence the executive office has on such matters. As a registered Republican, I do NOT support my party's stance on the issue, and wish they would be less hypocritical when it comes to matters of personal choice, including gay marriage and abortion, when they purport to fight for smaller government. But again, these are not issues that I have to deal with given my state of residence. I also believe that the momentum of the acceptance of gay marriage has reached a point where it cannot be turned back.

    At the end of the day, the President of the United States has little impact on the matter of gay marriage, and while President Obama has (finally) come out in support of it after having already achieved the highest political office in the land, have we all forgotten that his stance going into the last election was that marriage WAS between a man and a woman? If Obama's view on the topic has since "evolved", is it so hard to believe that Romney's won't change as well once he is sitting the Oval Office (especially now that the Mormon church has itself altered its views)? A significant amount of pandering goes on in politics once politicians are elected, and views and policies often moderate once a President is elected. Obama is a clear example of this. Even if one were to argue that Romney would fight for a U.S. Constitutional ban on gay marriage, we all know that the Democrats and moderate Republican and independents would was such a sufficient battle that it is HIGHLY unlikely that it would ever happen. That is the beauty of the democratic government created by our forefathers.

    In my mind, the most pressing issues we face during this election are economic ones, and this is arguably an area in which President Obama has failed or just not done enough. We're running out of time to fix our economy, and four more years of failed policies could prove disastrous. You can argue that the Republicans blocked much of what he wanted and tried to do, but that is mostly because Obama and the Democrats refused to compromise or find a middle ground, instead trying to push thru policies of the extreme left in a nation that tends to be populated more center-right. Obama refused to take into account the objections of the business leaders of the country who, at the end of the day, are the ones hiring people that will ultimately reduce unemployment levels in this country. You can fault the Republicans for trying to implement business-friendly policies, but others would blame Obama and the Democrats for pushing un-business friendly policies at a time of great uncertainty about the direction of the economy. And anyone who understands economics will confirm, uncertainty in business leads to less hiring. We have one of the highest corporate tax rates in the world, a fact that the critics of outsourcing conveniently ignore or forget. Reducing those tax rates will encourage companies to bring some their manufacturing back onshore (we have the most skilled workforce in the world, and many companies that have off shored their operations have learned this the hard way, some ultimately bringing the more critical and difficult aspects of their businesses back to the US, despite the implications of higher corporate taxes on profits). If you doubt this, look at the UK which also has high corporate and other taxes....manufacturing is almost non-existant in that country and they're now almost completely reliant upon the services industry.

    I'll stop now and let the flame wars begin. My biggest gripe with the people on this forum are that they are extremely to the right or extremely to the left. Moderate policies will result in compromise in Washington, and people need to be rational about what needs to be done, when and how. Our current president has shown a complete misunderstanding of this concept.


    In your country people have a right to be one issue voters. Seems many Republican tea bagging types have chosen their one issue, which is to get the Kenyan/socialist/Indonesian/Marxist/Muslim/atheist/something out of the White House.

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    Aug 10, 2012 1:27 PM GMT
    yep and at the end of the day my allegiance is to myself, thus I am no traitor. my sexuality does not define one as a whole, or dictate my allegiance. My vote is my vote and I will use it however I see fit, and not how another will demand, dictate, or even try to emotionally blackmailed me, on how to use it.

    Since one is not one dimensional, there are many aspects to me and my life, and not just one. But not only do I love my husband , but my country too, and I decided some years ago to put country before self; and there's noting traitorous about that, it's also very diffrent to how I voted as a 20YO too.

    Oh I spent almost $500.00AU on my dinner tonight with the main meal being around 350.00AU of Wagyu Beef; truly yummy. Now I did not share this, and this does not mean one is greedy, or selfish, when there are hungry people in the world who want food.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:31 PM GMT
    fruitcakecomic-jpg.8983
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:34 PM GMT
    tru_blu_auzzie said my sexuality does not define one as a whole


    Pretty rich, coming from someone who incessantly defines himself here as a 'pure homosexual'.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:34 PM GMT
    LIEV said


    In your country people have a right to be one issue voters. Seems many Republican tea bagging types have chosen their one issue, which is to get the Kenyan/socialist/Indonesian/Marxist/Muslim/atheist/something out of the White House.



    You're right, people have the right to vote on whatever issues they want, and that is the joy of being an American. But I believe we should be voting on issues that impact ALL Americans, the economy being the one that clearly impacts 100% of us.
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    Aug 10, 2012 1:37 PM GMT
    When voting on the issues that impact all americans includes voting against my own interests, I draw the line between sane and insane. Why on earth would I vote to benefit someone else at my own expense? I cannot share the stockholm syndrome shared by some among our population.