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What makes you stand out from the crowd?
smalltownboy Posts: 364
Aug 13, 2008 1:44 PM GMT
Seems like all my life, I've had to RE-introduce myself to people. They'll say...."Nice to meet you" and I'll say..."...this is like the 10th time we've met."
It makes me feel like there is nothing about me that is memorable...visually or otherwise.
Yesterday while running on the the Trail I run everyday, I wore a different colored (white) hat and a shirt. Typically, I run shirtless and wear a black hat. Several people who typically wave at me, ran right by me with not even a nod my way...the topper was my BEST friend ran right by me without even noticing it was me.
Periodically, I will see someone I know on the street or a cafe and I'll wave and smile and they just give me this blank stare...sometimes I don't even try, but other times, I walk over and have to tell them "It's me, Billy!".
I've asked people what's the deal? I'm usually told, I "never look the same"...sometimes I have a hat on, sometimes I don't. I change my hair length too often or one day I'm wearing glasses, one day, I'm not.
I don't buy these reasons...I mean, how come I recogonize you, but you don't recogonize me?
Am I that generic looking?
So...how do you stand out in the crowd? What makes you recognizable that I'm obviously not doing well?
lissenup Posts: 684
Aug 13, 2008 2:18 PM GMT
I'm sorry, but your post made me laugh, especially, "It's me, Billy" and your best friend running right past you.

It used to happen to me a lot, especially with gay men. There have been times I was tempted to say, "Yes, I know your name is ___________ because we've met ten times!!"

Some people can look very different by slightly changing one thing...but I don't think that's bad. Think about it - certain actors always look the same no matter what role they are playing, such as Tom Cruise. There are others you can't recognize from role to role because they become a completely different person by changing a few things.

Maybe you could start a running joke with people. Try going to a party with a name tag that says, "Hi, my name is Billy."
Aug 13, 2008 2:40 PM GMT
Well my walk gives me away from about a mile! I walk like an old sea captain with a wooden leg.

Besides that I have a pretty direct way of looking at people. As if I find you the most interesting person in the world. I just find people interesting, nothing personal or sexual.
Joecifer Posts: 1036
Aug 13, 2008 3:10 PM GMT
smalltownboy saidI mean, how come I recogonize you, but you don't recogonize me?
Am I that generic looking?
So...how do you stand out in the crowd? What makes you recognizable that I'm obviously not doing well?


Ha! I've often wondered this myself. I have a friend who's boyfriend has met me a dozen times, and never remembers meeting me. I gave up.

I've always felt like I stood out like a sore thumb...apparently not. People always compliment me on my eyes, which is what I usually remember about people, but that's not the case in reverse.

*shrugs*

Working in marketing has really helped change my perspective.

Lately, I've noticed that accessories are a good conversation starter. I have a necklace and bracelet that I wear all the time. People ask me about them each quite a bit, so maybe that'll work.
ShawnTX Posts: 2449
Aug 13, 2008 3:18 PM GMT
I'm pretty memorable because when I meet someone for the first time I do my best to get them laughing. Plus, I'm bound to say something very un-PC and very inappropriate.
Aug 13, 2008 4:16 PM GMT
I usually get comments on my energy. I'm a pretty extroverted guy, and I tend to attract people when I'm talking. Kind of intangible, but it's what I'm most noted for. I've even gotten this response in interviews when I've tried to be as calm as I can be.

RoccoGiovanni Posts: 2232
Aug 13, 2008 4:32 PM GMT
sometimes standing out in a crowd sucks.
Aug 13, 2008 4:43 PM GMT
People remember me because I smile a lot... it's just something that I do. Also when I'm up for it... I usually dress better than most people i.e unique pair of jeans or shirt etc but most times I'm bland.
Aug 13, 2008 4:50 PM GMT
Hehe, I get people all the time saying they know me from somewhere (usually work, damn customer service) and I can NEVER remember meeting them. I am just horrible with names and faces. Unlees I am attracted to them ofcourse... then THEY can never remember who I am and I am drooling all over them lol.
HighVoltageGu... Posts: 1957
Aug 13, 2008 4:50 PM GMT
I show them my underwear...if I'm wearing any at all.
Aug 13, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
I have only one leg, a killer smile, and blue green eyes!!
At first I was self-concious as hell about the leg, now I fugure hell I'm still alive. So I have decided it's got to be my eyes!! LOL
BodyWork4 Posts: 1925
Aug 13, 2008 5:44 PM GMT
my swagger... lol
art_smass Posts: 945
Aug 13, 2008 5:54 PM GMT
I'm in good shape. In today's tubby society, that makes me stick out like a sore thumb.
Aug 13, 2008 5:56 PM GMT
ShawnTX saidI'm pretty memorable because when I meet someone for the first time I do my best to get them laughing. Plus, I'm bound to say something very un-PC and very inappropriate.


You are being modest, it is your big brown eyes, and the batting of your eyelashes that people will remember you for.
AshLeon Posts: 148
Aug 13, 2008 6:07 PM GMT
Drastic changes in look will make it hard to recognize people, specially in the face area (hats, hair, beard, mustache). You usually recognize characteristics you've memorized, but, like you say, it's kind of weird that this happens so often. I mean, it's not like you change your face. Maybe the problem isn't you. It's your friends. Give them memory exercises, it's not good for them to have bad memories.

And looking at your profile, there are some pictures I could say that are of two different people at first glance, although once you look closely it's obvious it's you.

But in general, I think, people tend to remember quirks. So, be quirky. I, for example, will poke my friends' noses. And one of them will try to bite me when I do. That makes people remember us. And sometimes it will make people stay away.
Aug 13, 2008 6:40 PM GMT
Usually people notice my smile or my hair, complimenting the length and styling. The other day I was complimented on my entire look which being the fag I am, meant something to me.

Sadly though, to me many gay men are interchangeable due to their homogenous looks, dull personalities, and/or lack of humor/wit.
Aug 13, 2008 7:00 PM GMT
HighVoltageGuy saidI show them my underwear...if I'm wearing any at all.


My type of guy.

COMMANDO is the way to go!
Ghen Posts: 1065
Aug 13, 2008 7:02 PM GMT
Let's see:

Deathly pale
Unusualy dress style
Always say something unPC
English person in France
Always invent phantasmagorical stories when people ask where I come from, and then mock the individual if he believes me.

Think that about covers it.
AdriantheRN Posts: 663
Aug 13, 2008 7:07 PM GMT
ah yes, the timeless, "i've met 30 times, you STILL dont remember me" issue. it happens quite a bit, not everyone's memory is that good unfortunately. and sometimes, people can't be bothered to remember. what matters is that YOU do.

it really depends on what i do that's how people will remember me. kinda like ShawnTX's, i might say something un-PC about filipinos or asians. i also wear a dual pendant around my neck of the runes Ur and Algiz, sometimes they'll home in on that. i've had people say they remember me because of my sideburns and how unusual it is to find it on someone of my heritage.

there's this one dude who i called out in public. We've hung out with the same group of friends 3 times already in the last 2 weeks but he acts like we haven't met. so just to mess with him, i said, "hey michael, nice to see you again. what's MY name?" He was beet red and flustered for 5 minutes, then i pulled him out of his misery, LOL.
lissenup Posts: 684
Aug 13, 2008 8:21 PM GMT
What's even worse is guys who don't remember sleeping with you!
l1lz44 Posts: 3
Aug 13, 2008 8:23 PM GMT
I'm a sociologist and the main part of what I do is study people in communities. I've learned a lot about how to blend in with people when I have to.

You seem to be worried about not looking like yourself, but honestly the best way to not seem to be yourself is to change little things. You mentioned wearing a different coloured hat and wearing a shirt. That's exactly the small kind of thing that throws people for a loop.

People recognize me because I dress in a way that is kind of my own. People recognize me based on my personality and a few unique things I wear.
smalltownboy Posts: 364
Aug 13, 2008 9:58 PM GMT
AshLeon saidAnd looking at your profile, there are some pictures I could say that are of two different people at first glance, although once you look closely it's obvious it's you.

I tend to change my "look" from month to month, sometimes I have facial hair, sometimes I don't. Sometimes longer side burns, sometimes none. It's rare to see me without a hat or head gear, so when I don't wear one, I must look totally different. The length of my hair changes etc, but I know lots of people that do this and I don't have to be reintroduced to them....
l1lz44 said You seem to be worried about not looking like yourself, but honestly the best way to not seem to be yourself is to change little things. You mentioned wearing a different coloured hat and wearing a shirt. That's exactly the small kind of thing that throws people for a loop..

I'm prone to wearing the same blue LA hat and since I work & play outdoors, I'm shirtless alot, so perhaps the blue hat & no shirt (plus my big-ass tattoo on my back) are rememberance points for people. People seem to know me with the LESS clothes I wear! and of course something covering my hair...
It seems to be more of a visual nature then anything else...
TallGWMvballe... Posts: 1852
Aug 13, 2008 11:40 PM GMT
If you wear a hat all the time, that might be the reason. Hats cover much of what makes us unique and memorable (hair style, lenth, color, face and so forth.
Aug 13, 2008 11:46 PM GMT
I dyed my hair PINK! So now people can recognise me from a mile away.
GNOME08 Posts: 78
Aug 13, 2008 11:46 PM GMT
My Accent, grew up in Boston area Try not to say any word with the letter "r" in it. Yeah you own a Vehicle not a Car or CAH. BTW we speak it right the rest of the country is WRONG, Can I add that Boston arrogance
CSPYNY Posts: 124
Aug 13, 2008 11:46 PM GMT
I never really thought hair mattered, but a lot of people noticed when I (accidentally) had my head buzzed. Said it did not look like me at all.
Aug 13, 2008 11:50 PM GMT
AshLeon saidSo, be quirky. I, for example, will poke my friends' noses. And one of them will try to bite me when I do.


How madcap!
Aug 13, 2008 11:54 PM GMT
Billy, you say you are most often shirtless?

The obvious answer is that with your body, they almost never get around to looking at your face.

So they don't remember you from one meeting to the next. They never saw anything from the neck up.
Aug 14, 2008 12:00 AM GMT

My hair! Good christ, it seems like so many people remember/notice that! I think it gets me into trouble at time because anytime someone says something like "That curly-haired happy kid..." then everyone automatically knows it's me

and I swear if someone says I look a Jonas brother ONE more time...
Aug 14, 2008 12:04 AM GMT
Run up to them and bite them on the nipple. Yeah, you might go to jail, but at least they'd remember you.
Aug 14, 2008 12:18 AM GMT
best way to stand out in a crowd is to not be in it. in crowds, everyones eyes are darting around, bodies and heads turning, attention spans lasting only a few seconds. much more relaxed on the fringes, more space and more mellow.
redheaded_dud... Posts: 406
Aug 14, 2008 12:49 AM GMT
again: hair.

It's Red.

HndsmKansan Posts: 5912
Aug 14, 2008 1:10 AM GMT
Well to begin with, don't beat yourself up... part of it is that people are wrapped up in whats going on with them and may be tuned out.

I was walking out toward the exit in my YMCA and a client of mine was walking the other direction right past me (and there wasn't a crowd). I wouldn't have said anything, except she said, "Hi Chris" and I realized she was there! She wasn't offended and knew I was kind of tuned out.. not unusual for me at times. It doesn't mean she isn't memorable (she really isn't).. it was me.

I get plenty of attention, but I never judge whether I am "memorable" by whether people notice me. I get noticed.. but maybe not in a crowd. I'd evaluate this in a grounded fashion.. you may be very memorable,
but give your adoring public a little flexiblity..LOL

Aug 14, 2008 1:17 AM GMT
my confidence, even when im not i walk into a room like i own it. i also tend to give strong handshakes and i tend to look people in their eyes when i talk to them (builds a connection). people tend to remember me from that. sadly, i dont tend to remember people as well.
Aug 14, 2008 1:27 AM GMT
GobB said and i tend to look people in their eyes when i talk to them (builds a connection). people tend to remember me from that. sadly, i dont tend to remember people as well.


You know, that's very true! I always look people in the eye! I didn't realize how much of a connection that builds.
Aug 14, 2008 5:26 AM GMT
People have said I have an unbeknownst presence upon entering a room.

Personally, I think it's the long dark hair, most guys keep it short now.
Aug 14, 2008 5:44 AM GMT
I'm told I have a memorable look because I'm tall (6'2" - not that tall, if you ask me) and maybe because I am blond/blue.
Aug 14, 2008 6:04 AM GMT
I'm the one waving the Death Ray cannon and laughing maniacally in a busy intersection.
Aug 14, 2008 6:15 AM GMT
My smile out in public.

But One works as a nurse, whom works for a nursing agency. So I don't go to the same place every day, and some times, I may go to a new place to work, and not be there again for weeks. Yet One is always remembered for my charm, politeness, my irreverence, my smile, and no-one has ever meet a Pattison for a first name before!

Old lady's just love me.
GQjock Posts: 5769
Aug 14, 2008 9:52 AM GMT
Have Ugly friends
McGay Posts: 5115
Aug 14, 2008 11:18 AM GMT
Wear a name tag whenever you're in the presence of other people, strangers and friends and family alike. People will remember you for a couple of reasons. You can find them in almost every color.

Koaa2 Posts: 917
Aug 14, 2008 11:29 AM GMT
My height, 6'3", shaved head, blue eyes, big dick.
smalltownboy Posts: 364
Aug 14, 2008 8:12 PM GMT
jprichva saidBilly, you say you are most often shirtless?

The obvious answer is that with your body, they almost never get around to looking at your face.

So they don't remember you from one meeting to the next. They never saw anything from the neck up.


Unfortunately, there is some truth to that...honestly, I've noticed I can walk into a club/bar, restaurant, wherever and not a head turns, but let me walk out my front door not wearing a shirt.....BOOM!