Should I have kissed him?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    Okay first, I am not trolling and this is not a fake scenario. 100% true. I do have another profile on the site but wanted to anonymously get help for my situation.

    I have a hell of a crush on my really good friend. He's str8 ( I know, i know another my str8 friend thing but its a little more complex), gets a lot of girls always has girls wanting to come stay with him or hang out. Its a very complex situation and i need an outside unbiased opinion

    I known him for a little less than 2 years now. We met thru mutual friends and just instantly clicked. He is the only person I am out too. I still date woman but I told him i like guys too. He was cool with it and even said at some point in his life he considered messing with guys too but decided he liked girls too much.

    This guy flirts a lot but im not sure if its just in his nature or what but I think he knows what hes doing. Anyway, we sleep in the bed together, a lot. We did before i told him i like guys and we still do to this day.

    Its been nights when we slept in the bed together were I can almost swear he's jerking beside me and its def been times i jerked beside him, and i know he was aware because i made sure he knew just in case he wanted to join lol ;)
    As this happened more and we slept together more (He lives about an hour away so when I go see him or vice versa we just stay at each other house) I was getting more and more turned on were I couldn't help it and would start touching him or feeling him up. There is not one part of this dudes body that I havent felt.. ass, dick, balls, chest abs.. its even been a few nights i cuddled up on him. Some days hell push me off, others hell let me go on for a while then may say something. Its even been a night or two were he curled up on me or even wrapped my arm around him. I totally lost it that night when he wrapped my arm around him and started kissing his body all over, kissing his nipples and stomach but not too much more than that because he will always stop me before it goes to far. We never talked about this stuff the next day.

    This started to frustrate me so to speed things up I told him straight up that i attracted to him. He said cool but we can never be more than friends. We still continue to lay together not every night but enough. So he knows i like him and I have curled up on him since telling him. I backed off a lot lately so things dont get awkward. Now just the other night we were hanging and he got sooooo close to me. My reaction was to get closer to him and he kept leaning closer to me. So now our faces were no more than an inch or 2 away from each other while we looked at a video in his phone. I was so tempted to just push him back by his shoulder and start kissing him, but I didnt.

    My question is should i have just went for it?
    Any other incite on this situation is welcome and appreciated too
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Aug 11, 2012 7:21 PM GMT
    tl;dr
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    Aug 11, 2012 8:30 PM GMT
    stick your willy in his bum...if he likes it hes gay, if not try sticking his willy in your bum. if he doesnt like either then move on. youre just not intellectually or emotionally compatable

    hope this helps

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2012 9:05 PM GMT
    I think you need to read this sentence from your post several times until it sinks in. icon_wink.gif

    "This started to frustrate me so to speed things up I told him straight up that i attracted to him. He said cool but we can never be more than friends."

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2012 10:40 PM GMT
    sbwlguy saidtl;dr


    Probably my favorite thing to see/say on the internet.

    meninlove said

    I think you need to read this sentence from your post several times until it sinks in.

    "This started to frustrate me so to speed things up I told him straight up that i attracted to him. He said cool but we can never be more than friends."


    That is kind of messed up for him to say that to the guy. It's basically saying it's okay to egg him on and flirt but to not expect anything else. Kind of a cop out if you ask me.
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Aug 12, 2012 7:34 AM GMT
    Wow, that's ... really frustrating. I was thinking for a few minutes about whether it's worth it or not, but then I realized something very simple: where could this possibly go? Say you get everything you want. Say you get to feel him up, kiss him, suck him off ... whatever. That may be fun, but it can't last. The dude's not gonna renounce women and run off with you. He's going to find a girlfriend, you won't be able to sleep together anymore, and you'll resent the poor girl for the rest of your days. Your friendship will probably go down the shitter.

    Do yourself a favor and get off the addiction now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2012 8:33 AM GMT
    If you're talking about becoming his BF...forget it. If he's straight he won't change. If he's closeted gay he will rip your heart in half out of his own fear.

    If you're just talking about jerkoff buddies like purely physical. Sure go with it.

    But I must warn you that I once slept with a straight friend. We're not friends no moar. It got ugly. Real ugly
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2012 8:49 PM GMT
    OP..you have more of a relationship than many peeps here on RJ..Don't push..just take it for what it is..!!
    I know..must be driving you insane!!..
    Take it for what it is...!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2012 11:30 PM GMT
    What do you really think is gonna happen after kissing him ?icon_smile.gif
    justaquestion He said cool but we can never be more than friends.

    Yeah I really wonder your intentions about this guy...icon_question.gif
    If you don't love him, I presume that even if you have sex with him, it will last until you're used to his body or he will end it after a while.
    So if you care about what you share with others and if you really want this to last long as a good friendship, then you should start forgetting sexual-intimacy. (considering you care about this person)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 2:37 AM GMT
    Thanks for the advice. I appreciate everyones comment.

    I really like the guy and he probably is what i would want that's what makes it so crazy. I didn't know what I wanted until i met him. We have all the same interest in music, and everything else for that matter.

    The worse part is when ever I try to pull away he won't let me. If I don't call him for a day or two he'll call me. Even if it's for the most random thing...

    I would want to be friends even if thats all it could be cause hes a good guy and a great friend. but I dont think I can be around him to much more if thats all it can be.......... he's the first person to ever touch my heart and its fucking killing me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 2:49 AM GMT
    I guess I just have to accept it and move on.... which means either way i lose a friend, at least temporarily, because I'm not gonna be able to be around him for a while
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Aug 13, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    Is it worth it explaining that to him? I don't know if it's a great idea just to distance yourself without explanation. Just tell him that you need to maintain a certain distance because you're so attracted to him, but you're trying to respect his personal space and the friendship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 6:24 AM GMT
    FuriousGeorge saidIs it worth it explaining that to him? I don't know if it's a great idea just to distance yourself without explanation. Just tell him that you need to maintain a certain distance because you're so attracted to him, but you're trying to respect his personal space and the friendship.


    I even tried this once before. I literally told him I have feelings for him and i cant be around him. That i need some time away to deal with my thoughts. And for the next two days he called me repeatedly until i talked to him.
  • jsmith5

    Posts: 1

    Aug 13, 2012 10:48 AM GMT
    If you are ready and think that the time is right, then it probably is. Chances are that he has had some of the same thoughts as you, but could not say so in so many words. I have two friends that were recently in a similar sitaution. They were together for about two years, dating since about April 2011 I'd guess (They don't know that I know), but neither of them would ever take that next step. They split up abruptly a few months ago, only God know why. The one that I'm closer to took it very hard, you could see it in his face - maybe there will still be hope for them. It never hurts to try, but just dont let long enough cross that fine line into not now nor ever again. Best wishes