What you describe is a condition known as FKD - Football Knowledge Deficiency. Many adult men secretly suffer from this condition and harbor needless shame and embarrassment over the condition.
But there is hope. FKD can be overcome.
El_Crankador offered good advice. I also recommend the one-on-one therapy suggested, by carefully watching football games with a knowledgeable friend, asking many questions along the way.
You can realize major improvements in your condition right away, but optimal recovery can take years and you may never fully recover 100%. Even hardcore football fans are often unfamiliar with some of the arcane nuances, such as the "safety"
, when a member of the offense is taken down with the ball in the end zone and the team on defense (usually, but not always) scores 2 points.
Then there is the "free kick rule"
which had almost died out altogether and wasn't seen in professional football for some unknown number of decades until the Tennessee Titans attempted it in 2005, during which the coach had to pull out the rule book to familiarize the officiating crew with this rule.
Many people also don't realize that a professional football game can, and occasionally does, end in a tied score.