I feel like I'm never going to find a boyfriend.

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    Aug 12, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    Some days I wake up and wonder if I will ever really be in a relationship. I'm not one of those people who feels like I have to be in one or that I can't be happy until I'm in one.......but I do wonder whether or not it will ever actually happen for me.

    I used to think that I had pretty low standards compared to other gay men. I have no predetermined restrictions based on age, race, class, or degree of masculinity. I just feel like it's hard for me to really connect to most other guys on a mental and emotional level. I like cuddling, and spending time together, and going out to do dinner etc. but I sometimes wonder if anyone in my age bracket is interested in more than just sex.

    I''m not against hookups or anything but I get annoyed when guys that I am really attracted to in senses beyond the physical, and all he wants to do is taste my like I'm just piece of tapas.

    Do any of you guys ever feel this way?


    *****************

    Disclaimer, I just flew. Long flights make me emotional. icon_redface.gif
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    Aug 12, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    I feel the same way. However, I exclusively date black men so that makes the dating pool for me much smaller.
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    Aug 12, 2012 1:31 AM GMT
    And our Deki love's him some Asian-persuasion icon_cool.gif

    The first and second post of this thread are clearly the answer to each others problems? Yep. Win.

    Another problem solved for the RJ Mystery Team.

    JvU10.gif
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    Aug 12, 2012 1:33 AM GMT
    Deki, you're a catch.

    It'll happen if you go continue to go after it/let it.
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    Aug 12, 2012 1:37 AM GMT
    It's just a long, slow crawl toward death.
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
    Some days, I feel like my boyfriend is NEVER going to give me a hands free orgasm. Then I touch myself anyway.
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    He is out there. Take your time and go out there and look for him icon_smile.gif
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Aug 12, 2012 2:10 AM GMT
    you are 21 , you are 21 , you are 21.......
    too soon to say that deki icon_confused.gif
    he's somewhere out there m086.gif
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidSome days I wake up and wonder if I will ever really be in a relationship. I'm not one of those people who feels like I have to be in one or that I can't be happy until I'm in one.......but I do wonder whether or not it will ever actually happen for me.

    I used to think that I had pretty low standards compared to other gay men. I have no predetermined restrictions based on age, race, class, or degree of masculinity. I just feel like it's hard for me to really connect to most other guys on a mental and emotional level. I like cuddling, and spending time together, and going out to do dinner etc. but I sometimes wonder if anyone in my age bracket is interested in more than just sex.

    I''m not against hookups or anything but I get annoyed when guys that I am really attracted to in senses beyond the physical, and all he wants to do is taste my like I'm just piece of tapas.

    Do any of you guys ever feel this way?


    *****************

    Disclaimer, I just flew. Long flights make me emotional. icon_redface.gif


    You seem reasonable and nice but...

    OH GOD! icon_rolleyes.gif reality check would be if you are 41 and you are still single. Then you can despair because most likely you are UN-dateable, something is seriously wrong with you and your choices. However you are 21.. at the gates of your adulthood.. and haven't even begun to explore the world and all the other emotions that are most likely foreign to you because you haven't reached them yet.

    I'm a bit sick of seeing these 20/21 year olds moping around for a boyfriend when in reality a boyfriend period is a lot of work and really you don't want to rush it and wind up with someone who will scar you and further bruise your scope on life and love.

    The world is full of amazing people and i'm willing to bet you have only met 0.08% of them.. somewhere along the line you will meet a guy who will be your match.. you'll meet many of them.. just wait.. but there is no use in feeling any kind of anxiety about it and you are friggin 20 or 21 year old.

    I think the media..and gay community as a whole put too much pressure on gay men..especially young ones to have boyfriends... almost creating a race of co-dependent men who think that to be loved by someone else is validation. It's not.. it's a miracle.

    So chill.. you have your life ahead of you.. more will most likely change for you and put you in the direction of that "special someone".


    There's some tired ass 65 year old queen who is thinking the same thing reading your post thinking "what a bitch.. i have most likely 20 more years left to live at MAX and my house is filled with cats and dildos."
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:23 AM GMT
    Another young guy who has already given up? You're way too young to sound so bleak. Yes, dating isn't easy. Yes, it's more difficult for gay guys. Yes, there is no guarantee that you'll find the right guy. But you still have many years ahead to find someone. You aren't even close to being at the age where you would have any reason to start worrying about it.
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:24 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidAnother young guy who has already given up? You're way too young to sound so bleak. Yes, dating isn't easy. Yes, it's more difficult for gay guys. Yes, there is no guarantee that you'll find the right guy. But you still have many years ahead to find someone. You aren't even close to being at the age where you would have any reason to start worrying about it.


    yeah. You don't have to freeze the eggs yet.
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:24 AM GMT
    I used to feel that way when I was in my early twenties so I think it's pretty normal.

    Of course you're gonna find someone. You're good looking, smart, and earnest. When you get back let's go out for sushi ramen or oden and we can talk about this ^_^
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:51 AM GMT
    CityRiver saidI used to feel that way when I was in my early twenties so I think it's pretty normal.

    Of course you're gonna find someone. You're good looking, smart, and earnest. When you get back let's go out for sushi ramen or oden and we can talk about this ^_^


    omg you changed your name. why? Thought you left RJ forever haven't seen your posts in ages.

    Busy?
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:53 AM GMT
    Daas saidSome days, I feel like my boyfriend is NEVER going to give me a hands free orgasm. Then I touch myself anyway.

    Dass i luv you to death..but why do i feel i could never invite you to church!..(omg)
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    Aug 12, 2012 2:55 AM GMT
    Sorry to double post...
    Anyone else here craving Ice Cream??
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    Aug 12, 2012 3:21 AM GMT
    CityRiver saidI used to feel that way when I was in my early twenties so I think it's pretty normal.

    Of course you're gonna find someone. You're good looking, smart, and earnest. When you get back let's go out for sushi ramen or oden and we can talk about this ^_^


    I've been back since 10:45 PM!icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 12, 2012 3:22 AM GMT
    IIIIIIIIIIIII saidDid someone mention tapas?

    ¡Olé!






    You bitch.


    That was hillarious
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    Aug 12, 2012 3:47 AM GMT
    Trust me its better to wait what seems like forever and find the right guy then to be through many in your life and regret every one of them. I have nothing but bad luck it seems like almost all guys just want sex and not a relationship no matter how old they are and trust me I have been with guys between the age of 18-42 and they mostly seem to think alike. But there are guys out there that do want relationships such as I.
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    Aug 12, 2012 3:50 AM GMT
    your life is over and you're a miserable failure, you should def kys
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    Aug 12, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    eightball saidyour life is over and you're a miserable failure, you should def kys


    You dunno wtf you're messing with here do you
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    Aug 12, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    Hapuna said
    eightball saidyour life is over and you're a miserable failure, you should def kys


    You dunno wtf you're messing with here do you


    VzLN2.gif
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    Aug 12, 2012 10:36 AM GMT
    love is wars,every love worth for a fight,and if faith brought u two together,do not hesitate as u might never able to see him again.

    there-it-goes-the-last-fuck-i-give.gif
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    Aug 12, 2012 10:50 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidSome days I wake up and wonder if I will ever really be in a relationship. I'm not one of those people who feels like I have to be in one or that I can't be happy until I'm in one.......but I do wonder whether or not it will ever actually happen for me.

    I used to think that I had pretty low standards compared to other gay men. I have no predetermined restrictions based on age, race, class, or degree of masculinity. I just feel like it's hard for me to really connect to most other guys on a mental and emotional level. I like cuddling, and spending time together, and going out to do dinner etc. but I sometimes wonder if anyone in my age bracket is interested in more than just sex.

    I''m not against hookups or anything but I get annoyed when guys that I am really attracted to in senses beyond the physical, and all he wants to do is taste my like I'm just piece of tapas.

    Do any of you guys ever feel this way?


    *****************

    Disclaimer, I just flew. Long flights make me emotional. icon_redface.gif


    Almost the exact words taken right out of my own thoughts.
    You and me both brother, I wonder about the status of relationships in this generation too.
    Hook ups seem to be the norm nowadays and even when talking about monogamous relationships, most often people say go for a hook up because you never know if it will develop into a relationship.

    For me I just don't think it's a good enough foundation to sleep with someone in the hopes of getting a relationship and I think that can be damaging to you if you keep hoping for something and being disappointed too many times.

    I guess it's different for those who were actually wanting a hook up and just so happen to find a relationship out of it instead, but I know I specifically want monogamous relationship in the future so the hook up method isn't for me unfortunately.
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    Aug 12, 2012 10:57 AM GMT
    having less concern for someones outward often contrived and misleading appearence, and more for your emotional and intellectual compatability is no bad thing.
  • Shark100

    Posts: 234

    Aug 12, 2012 11:18 AM GMT
    Yeap mate, I am on the same boat, the difference is.....I am 30 and up to now I haven't met any guy more interested in relationship than sex......maybe that explains why I am still alone. Depressing....sometimes as nobody would like to be alone the rest of the life, but for some reason it makes me think that....maybe there are other guys like me out there, and the challenge is to find one of them. If I find him great , if not well, this is life sometime we win...sometimes we dont. Still happy to know that I have my morals and self esteem and that sex to me is something so valuable that i am not sharing it with everyone.