There are all types of gays, so please choose your words with care.

  • Robert_NYC

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2012 5:00 AM GMT
    Love RealJock, and the amazing, hot, genuine guys I've found here. Just had to post tonight because of two profiles I read (both hot guys, btw). Every gay man has a right to define who he thinks is hot, who he wants to be around, and who he wants to sleep with. So, I just ask that, when defining your likes/dislikes for the RJ community, you are inclusive and not exclusive. Focus on what you want to attract, not to disparage your fellow gays wwith whom you do not personally identify.

    For example, please refrain from comments like:
    "I never would have guessed you are gay."

    Or, after listing what you are looking for, say something like:
    "Just don't be a fairy!"

    There are all types of gay men, who look and act all different ways. Please try to focus on what you want in a guy, not judging those you don't prefer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    You mean no comments like

    "no fats no fems and no old geezers over 40"?

    cuz I see that in guys profiles all the time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 5:06 AM GMT
    oh, also

    "no blacks, no asians, no latinos. sorry I'm not a racist but just preference"

    I see that in people's profiles all the time too....
  • Robert_NYC

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    Yes. I have my own preferences, too. I just prefer to focus on what I want rather than what I don't want. I think any quality guy on RJ knows the difference. And if someone contacts me to whom I am not attracted or who does not interest me or fit my criteria for someone I want to talk to, meet or date, I have the option to not reply, or to thank someone for their interest and wish them good luck in their search.

    You don't lose anything by being polite.
  • Robert_NYC

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2012 5:12 AM GMT
    It's ok to be direct. I guess it's about tact.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 5:13 AM GMT
    http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/

    FYI
  • Robert_NYC

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2012 5:20 AM GMT
    It's all part of the game, I guess. It does nothing for me. I mean, I move on when I notice things like grammar mistakes! icon_smile.gif You just have to pick your resources. Different strokes for different folks. I just made this post/request on RJ because I think the community here is a step up from hookup sites. Maybe I'm wrong. But I don't think so.
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Aug 13, 2012 10:35 AM GMT
    I like my fairys just fine thank you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 10:39 AM GMT
    B Masc!

    Apparently, everybody's on their way to a monster truck rally.
  • booboolv

    Posts: 203

    Aug 13, 2012 11:07 AM GMT
    I hear ya OP. I signed up here to find some support and encouragement in my journey to fitness and understanding my role as a gay man. Apparently only those who have attained a certain degree of fitness, and for the most part, are below a certain age (with some wonderful exceptions) are accepted as qualified to be healthy and happy.

    I am saddened that my first attempt to be welcomed into a gay community feels like a failure.
  • agro

    Posts: 199

    Aug 13, 2012 11:24 AM GMT
    booboolv saidI hear ya OP. I signed up here to find some support and encouragement in my journey to fitness and understanding my role as a gay man. Apparently only those who have attained a certain degree of fitness, and for the most part, are below a certain age (with some wonderful exceptions) are accepted as qualified to be healthy and happy.

    I am saddened that my first attempt to be welcomed into a gay community feels like a failure.

    at least you're white
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    Robert_NYC saidYes. I have my own preferences, too. I just prefer to focus on what I want rather than what I don't want. I think any quality guy on RJ knows the difference. And if someone contacts me to whom I am not attracted or who does not interest me or fit my criteria for someone I want to talk to, meet or date, I have the option to not reply, or to thank someone for their interest and wish them good luck in their search.

    You don't lose anything by being polite.


    I wouldn't consider refusing to reply polite.
  • Robert_NYC

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2012 6:09 PM GMT
    BlkMuscleGent said

    I wouldn't consider refusing to reply polite.


    I agree. I'm just pointing out that choosing not to reply when contacted is an option. Rejection sucks, but I know for myself, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I'd rather know up front. I don't take it personally.
  • Robert_NYC

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2012 6:23 PM GMT
    booboolv saidI hear ya OP. I signed up here to find some support and encouragement in my journey to fitness and understanding my role as a gay man. Apparently only those who have attained a certain degree of fitness, and for the most part, are below a certain age (with some wonderful exceptions) are accepted as qualified to be healthy and happy.

    I am saddened that my first attempt to be welcomed into a gay community feels like a failure.


    Keep connecting with guys here, or seek out other resources until you find a connection that feels right for you. I don't know you, but I think it's safe to assume that you will not allow yourself to be sidelined by a failed 'first attempt.'
  • Voice22

    Posts: 79

    Aug 13, 2012 6:27 PM GMT
    i support this. Nicely said and a good message. We should be an inclusive community.

    +1 and thanks RobertNYC
  • Robert_NYC

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    stark93 said
    at least you're white


    It is possible to feel marginalized, even within the gay community. I try to focus on the guys who want what I've got, instead of focusing on the guys who don't. I've found there are plenty in both camps.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 7:26 PM GMT
    i hate when guy use the term str8 acting.... really!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 7:33 PM GMT
    Guys ..That's why i use:

    Oil-Of-Olay-Age-Defying-Daily_E3CE3055.j

    Just sayin' !icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 7:50 PM GMT
    Hapuna saidhttp://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/

    FYI


    Funny. I'd love to fast-forward to 50 years from now and see how this guy is doing:

    hot-cross-douche.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 8:02 PM GMT
    If every guy has a right to express himself, surely having to refrain from what he finds attractive in another guy is no crime. Gay guys call themselves and each other, hoe, biatch, girlfriend, fairy...etc! It's not what I am looking for in a man so if they are happy to label themselves with the term than I have the right to say, move to the next guy please! I get your message, and its a positive one but simply put, I like what I like and I am not going to pretend otherwise, the internet dating process can be laborious enough, making it clear from the outset what you are looking for saves time and makes it easier to identify a guy you might get along. We're all men, and we are all different and thats a good thing, embrace your own and move forward, but lets not get too PC just because our only common denominator is liking to sleep with another guy...and to the guy who thinks he's too hot for anyone...wanker...enough said! ;)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 8:08 PM GMT
    ^
    Speaking of 'tapping that with the force of ten thousand angry Norse gods'.

    Sorry, I forgot to choose my words with care.icon_redface.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 13, 2012 8:13 PM GMT
    So does that mean 'flaming, oversensitive, drama queens" is in or out?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 8:13 PM GMT
    afl35 saidIf every guy has a right to express himself, surely having to refrain from what he finds attractive in another guy is no crime. Gay guys call themselves and each other, hoe, biatch, girlfriend, fairy...etc! It's not what I am looking for in a man so if they are happy to label themselves with the term than I have the right to say, move to the next guy please! I get your message, and its a positive one but simply put, I like what I like and I am not going to pretend otherwise, the internet dating process can be laborious enough, making it clear from the outset what you are looking for saves time and makes it easier to identify a guy you might get along. We're all men, and we are all different and thats a good thing, embrace your own and move forward, but lets not get too PC just because our only common denominator is liking to sleep with another guy...and to the guy who thinks he's too hot for anyone...wanker...enough said! ;)



    I don't believe the issue here is "liking what you like" - relatively few sane people would ask you to like what you don't like. But I will argue that posting "I have a decided preference for handsome, masculine, muscular men of my own race and around my own age" is kinder and more considerate than posting some variant of "no Whities, fatties, fems oldies or ugmos, please". I'm not advocating PC, I'm advocating courtesy and respect; even among those whose only common denominator is dick.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 8:31 PM GMT
    "If you're a drag queen, you're in the friend zone."
  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Aug 13, 2012 8:32 PM GMT
    ChoklitDaddy said
    afl35 saidIf every guy has a right to express himself, surely having to refrain from what he finds attractive in another guy is no crime. Gay guys call themselves and each other, hoe, biatch, girlfriend, fairy...etc! It's not what I am looking for in a man so if they are happy to label themselves with the term than I have the right to say, move to the next guy please! I get your message, and its a positive one but simply put, I like what I like and I am not going to pretend otherwise, the internet dating process can be laborious enough, making it clear from the outset what you are looking for saves time and makes it easier to identify a guy you might get along. We're all men, and we are all different and thats a good thing, embrace your own and move forward, but lets not get too PC just because our only common denominator is liking to sleep with another guy...and to the guy who thinks he's too hot for anyone...wanker...enough said! ;)



    I don't believe the issue here is "liking what you like" - relatively few sane people would ask you to like what you don't like. But I will argue that posting "I have a decided preference for handsome, masculine, muscular men of my own race and around my own age" is kinder and more considerate than posting some variant of "no Whities, fatties, fems oldies or ugmos, please". I'm not advocating PC, I'm advocating courtesy and respect; even among those whose only common denominator is dick.



    This. I like dick too much to be straight, but that doesn't mean I have to be a jerk to any women that approach me.