Don't you love being right! Or not?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 9:55 PM GMT
    I just talked to an old friend the other day, and we ended our last discussion on a bad note. I was warning him that he should think about the decisions he makes because he texted me saying how he got $2000 dollars (long and complicated story about how he gets this money) to go shopping in NYC. I warned him about spending all this money and he should be more serious about his money because his support system can be cut off. He always wanted to live in NYC so he moved there.

    Well, he moved to NYC and he got his financials cut off - I knew this was going to happen and I tried warning him.

    Last time I talked to him I was going through the college process and he was telling me about his NYC trip and trying to rub it into me because I was back home trying to worry about college and money. I tried warning him to do the same and he didn't listen.

    So now, things have changed. I'm going to college and I won't have any problem with money or anything while he on the other is in NYC and isn't satisfied with his $$$. He complained to me about his "rich bitch friend" who sounded like him a few months ago and got made because I told him I went to Europe over the summer. Yea, I feel bad for the guy, but I tried warning and helping him on what he should do, but he did not take my advice and had to suffer the consequences.

    I do feel some satisfaction though that what I predicted was going to happen is true and that I was right and now he is upset I was right. However, I think its bad of me to feel this satisfaction because it makes me seem stuck up too. What do you guys think?
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    Aug 13, 2012 11:23 PM GMT
    I don't think you should gloat about your friend's... misfortune?
    Yes your prediction is right and that's cool, but you predicted that your friend would get into difficulties... which isn't something you should be proud of.
    But you can feel good all you want in the inside. Just don't rub it in his face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2012 11:27 PM GMT
    i'm always right

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    Aug 14, 2012 12:14 AM GMT
    Op you are doing fine..So you are a little excited about your analytical prowess.. No biggie
    ..But at least you were a good enough friend to try to warn him..!..
    I've been in similar situations where i warn friends regarding potential mishaps..They ignore my advice and i still am there to help them pick up the pieces..
    ..Look at it this way..
    .."A good friends work is never done".... icon_smile.gif
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Aug 14, 2012 12:25 AM GMT
    The reason we feel good in situations like these is because the outcome validates our philosophy. If he had made it out to NYC and somehow become a millionaire rock star, we'd be talking about "sour grapes" instead of schadenfreude. It's not that you're happy he's miserable; it's just that you feel reinforced in *your* belief that success only comes with hard work.

    So yes, you were right, and you're permitted a moment to yourself to feel good about that; just don't visibly gloat to him because then you would be rubbing it in. However, I'd hardly call telling him what you're up to gloating. If he's getting bent out of shape just listening to you talk about your life, then the sour grapes are his. You tried to help him, and more likely than not you're still willing to help him, so he has no reason to get uppity.
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    Aug 14, 2012 12:37 AM GMT
    Everyone hates to hear "I told you so". So take satisfaction in being right, but don't rub it in. He probably hates the fact that you were right and every time you tell him about your successes he's going to feel belittled. So let things cool for a while and talk again during the semester when you guys can bitch about your teachers.
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    Aug 14, 2012 2:33 AM GMT
    No I don't make fun of him for it nor brag about me being right to him. I just keep it to myself - except for this forum post. The thing is no matter how right I use, I never have the power or conscience to say this to his face because it isn't productive or helpful considering his circumstances. As many of you guys pointed out, it is better to just try to give him advice. Getting in some stupid "I was right" fight is too much energy and not worth it at all.
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    Aug 14, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    I totally rub it in.

    do the "I told you so" dance over their crying corps.

    Then again I don't have a lot of friends, sooooooooo.
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    Aug 14, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    Who doesn't?
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    Aug 14, 2012 2:48 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidI totally rub it in.
    do the "I told you so" dance over their crying corps.
    Then again I don't have a lot of friends, sooooooooo.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2012 2:49 AM GMT
    eightball saidi'm always right
    u & me both hunni xx
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    Being Right, shouldn't cost you the Right people who are already in your life. There is room, reason and purpose for error in life.