Making the transition from emails to meetup

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 1:34 PM GMT
    When do you think you've sufficiently emailed someone enough or learned enough to want to meet the picture on the internet in person?

    I've never done this internet dating thing but I joined this site for a reason I guess it just seems a little unfamiliar.

    Have you ever met up with someone and they were not what you expected? good or bad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 1:51 PM GMT
    Asap. And ask to meet for a drink or coffee. People online are not the same as in person. Go in friendly with no expectations. That's the best way IMO.

    If they don't want to meet chances are they are anti social or fake. Better to find out sooner than later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 1:56 PM GMT
    Chainers saidAsap. And ask to meet for a drink or coffee. People online are not the same as in person. Go in friendly with no expectations. That's the best way IMO.

    If they don't want to meet chances are they are anti social or fake. Better to find out sooner than later.



    Totally agree.. and remember to let them down easy... icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 2:01 PM GMT
    Chainers saidAsap. And ask to meet for a drink or coffee. People online are not the same as in person. Go in friendly with no expectations. That's the best way IMO.

    If they don't want to meet chances are they are anti social or fake. Better to find out sooner than later.


    I totally agree here. Meet as soon as you can instead of hampering on endless online chats.

    You lower the development of a pseudo relationship alla email, and have less expectations on your plate when you meet up.

    Guys are so different in person so dont fall in love with a picture or the online package. Choose to meet up and see what things are like in person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 2:09 PM GMT
    Good advice from the other fellas

    It's good to say before you meet that you have no expectations and that there are no hard feelings if it's not right for you both

    usually guys are smaller than you expect and quite often not like their pics

    Apart.from that have safe fun
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Aug 17, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    Agree with everything posted so far. If there's a real spark, take it to real time ASAP. Also, you didn't say if you had skyped or talked on the phone. Voice adds to the impression.

    Of course, you want to meet in a public place. And just go into it telling yourself you're meeting a potential friend.

    Good luck. He's a Lucky guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    After a whole lot of e-mails and phone calls with a guy I met here in Forums, we met at an airport. He lived in Connecticut, and I lived in Arizona. We had done so much of the ground work and discussed every subject we could think of, so the actual meet didn't reveal any negative surprises. We'd sent photos and even a short video, so we pretty much knew what the other guy was like. By doing all that "homework" beforehand, the actual meet was bliss. We spent the weekend, and then did the cross country thing several more times, before we decided to make this permanent. Instead of me moving to CT or him moving to AZ, we both moved to CA. Couldn't be happier.

    Good luck to anyone meeting this way. With all the "homework" done, it can be a great way to get to know someone who isn't in your geographical area.
  • 1man

    Posts: 140

    Aug 17, 2012 3:52 PM GMT
    I've done it a few times, it's always been bad.
  • SF2PS

    Posts: 63

    Aug 17, 2012 3:53 PM GMT
    Chainers saidAsap. And ask to meet for a drink or coffee. People online are not the same as in person. Go in friendly with no expectations. That's the best way IMO.

    If they don't want to meet chances are they are anti social or fake. Better to find out sooner than later.


    +1

    and remember nothing ventured, nothing gained . . . .
  • d694485

    Posts: 222

    Aug 17, 2012 4:03 PM GMT
    Isn't ASAP a little on the not safe side though?
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    Aug 17, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    d694485 saidIsn't ASAP a little on the not safe side though?


    If you go to his house to fuck him, yes. Public setting? A little harder for him to do something to ya.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    Meet immediately or be disappointed. Textual conversation was not meant for getting to know someone but for logistics.

    Of course, the 1 in 1,000,000 guy posts on here that he did all his hw beforehand, and it was bliss in meeting. That's just because he and the other guy have atypical personalities.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 7:00 PM GMT
    Great advice from all the fellas! I would add not meeting at a club as there are too many distractions and it's hard to have a conversation. Coffee house or intimate bar/lounge are nice. Do be prepared though how you'll handle the situation if there isn't any "spark" or he's not what he projected online. Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 7:41 PM GMT
    ASAP

    if he lives a long way away move to talking on the phone FAST. If it doesn´t happen within a week or MAX two weeks it´s never going to improve.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 7:43 PM GMT
    I´ve met 4 RJers

    One I´d been online chatting with for a few years and he was on business in London. we got on FAR better in person.

    Another lives in london. he´s pretty nice

    Another I met in Chicago. He´s not as bad as he pretends

    Another I met in London. He´s also pretty nice.
  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Aug 17, 2012 7:49 PM GMT
    bluey2223 saidMeet immediately or be disappointed. Textual conversation was not meant for getting to know someone but for logistics.


    this +10

    why would you want to get to know everything about someone online, by the time you meet in person all that's left is like an old married couple:

    sleeping in seperate beds, and arguing about which lane you need to be in on the freeway.

  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Aug 17, 2012 7:54 PM GMT
    GonzoTheGreat saidI´ve met 4 RJers

    slut.....icon_lol.gif j/k

    i've met too many people based on pics, i need to get more cerebral.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 8:09 PM GMT
    Chainers saidAsap. And ask to meet for a drink or coffee. People online are not the same as in person. Go in friendly with no expectations. That's the best way IMO.

    If they don't want to meet chances are they are anti social or fake. Better to find out sooner than later.


    Yep! And how can you know you like someone unless you meet them? I don't see the point in endlessly talking online unless you just want to remain pen pals.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 8:18 PM GMT
    I generally talk to somebody for a day or two (not consistent emails though) before I meet them - just enough to see if there is enough justification to meet, and of course to determine if they are in it for a proper meeting or NSA. But you can only truly gauge how a person will be when you meet them in person - I've encountered quite a few guys who are far more interesting online than in person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 8:25 PM GMT
    and if after meeting he switches back to texting or emails. he's just not that into you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 9:07 PM GMT
    There is no limit. It's whatever you feel comfortable with doing. You could meet after having just one email or it could be nearly a thousand emails later over a period of time. It varies depending the person you are talking to and whether or no you click well.

    I think Chainers pretty much summed it up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    It depends, sometime the chemistry just dictates it as well as schedules...but you also have to be careful of the gay flakiness. Within RJ, I met one good guy in Sacramento, but in other sites also...on A4A, Manhunt, etc...I know what you guys are thinking its mostly a sex site, but is what you make of it and what you are looking for. I did meet this great guy for coffee on Wed. at Starbucks. We talked for about 4 hours, about our life, experiences, etc...we had a great time laughing, etc. We have been texting for a couple of weeks as well as Yahoo M for a couple of months. We did finally meet. He is extremely attractive and tall 6'2, which is intimidating in itself. Additionally, he is a sport buff, every sport imaginable...so guess I will have to get 101 for dummies on each sport. The evening ended were he walked toward my car and asked me that he wanted to see me againicon_biggrin.gif, I then got home and checked my phone I was exiting my car to my apartment and he had texted me that he had had a great eveningicon_biggrin.gif so I am hoping to see him again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 10:33 PM GMT
    NEVER

    thats how little girls go missing

    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 10:38 PM GMT
    Whitey89 saidWhen do you think you've sufficiently emailed someone enough or learned enough to want to meet the picture on the internet in person?
    Once.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2012 10:43 PM GMT
    IMMEDIATELY if possible.

    Meeting someone online is like opening a gallon of fresh milk, meeting in person is actually drinking the milk. The clock starts ticking on how long that milk is going to stay fresh and drinkable.