the guy i like wants to work it out with his ex what to do? :(

  • rac727

    Posts: 196

    Aug 18, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    so i met a real nice guy and i clicked with him in a way i don't normally click with people we have great conversations and have A LOT (and i mean a lot!) of common interests and come from similar backgrounds (meaning we even both come from dysfunctional families) and are attracted to primarily to each others race (i like asians and he is asian, i am puerto rican he likes latinos). but (just my luck fml!) after we started talking of course something happened. he got a call from his ex whos moving back to tampa. so in the morning i woke up and he had wrote me a long email which by the way meant a lot to me that he thought of my feelings because i have had guys i liked just cut off all contact with me to talk to someone else without a word. but really he did explain the situation and his feelings in the email. so initially when i read the email i was so touch by the thought he cared enough about my feelings to put thought and detail into explaining things to me i wasn't even upset after reading just happy he cared so much in a way that the other guys didn't. though i was a bit disappointed but i understood. anyway in the email he said that night (the night he sent the email after we talked) by some chance ended up getting back into contact with his ex from texas (his friends there gave him his new number) and his ex is moving back and he still has feelings for him and says he wants to try and work things out because he could be "the one" and the way he feels about his ex is unexplainable. but he also said in the email he likes me and feels a connection with me and finds me attractive and would still like to be friends and talk and text and hang out which i would love and means a lot. but i like him too but i don't think i will be able to compete with his ex because he has stronger feelings for him and i don't want to get in the way or wish them bad at all. but i just like him a lot. what should i do? icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    Right now? Keep him as a good friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2012 6:30 AM GMT
    Neight saidRight now? Keep him as a good friend.


    Yep...that's about it. As long as the ex is in his head, he'll never be focused on you. Friends is fine but be very careful NOT to put yourself in a situation to get hurt. It already sounds like you're emotionally invested... be careful.
  • rac727

    Posts: 196

    Aug 18, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    well i wasn't 100% emotionally invested i was more like 60% emotionally invested i always have bad luck with guys so i anticipated something would happen to get in the way so it wasn't a shock really but i was medium disappointed icon_razz.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 18, 2012 6:56 PM GMT
    Bummer. You'll just have to move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.icon_biggrin.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Aug 18, 2012 7:37 PM GMT
    Friends would be the ideal situation but here's the reality.....The ex will always undermine your friendship for a multitude of reasons...jealously...fear..head games...It's in your best interests to wish him well and move on...This may sound like harsh medicine..but take this dose now in one big gulp.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 19, 2012 5:11 AM GMT
    Another 'Case of the Ex -Files'

    Solution. Keep him as a friend and nothing more. Or better yet, keep a comfortable distance and do your thing. Should he return for you sometime in the foreseen future, great. If not, you saved yourself from a heart ache.
  • rac727

    Posts: 196

    Aug 21, 2012 4:40 AM GMT
    scratch that another fake person i found out by chance he was lying because he didn't have the balls to say he wasn't interested its ok though he wasn't that good looking anyway and a liar to boot icon_biggrin.gif
  • aznduderocks

    Posts: 67

    Aug 21, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    Hm... if it were me, "out of sight, out of mind" but I would not suggest you to do that because that's just plain crazy ;-)

    Just be his friend, nothing you can do. Be there for him when he needs someone to talk to. In the meantime, check out other guys icon_rolleyes.gif Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    Fuck and forget him; or just forget him!