What’s So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress?

  • metta

    Posts: 39089

    Aug 18, 2012 6:14 AM GMT
    What’s So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress?

    "“It might make your world more tidy to have two neat and separate gender possibilities,” one North Carolina mother wrote last year on her blog, “but when you squish out the space between, you do not accurately represent lived reality. More than that, you’re trying to ‘squish out’ my kid.”"


    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/magazine/whats-so-bad-about-a-boy-who-wants-to-wear-a-dress.html

  • Aug 18, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    One thing to let the boy do that shit at home so he can have an outlet and not be entirely repressed...it's another to let him think it's ok to go to school and do all of that. Parents should know better than to let their son go out in public dressed up as a girl...

    Parents these days (much like American society in general), seem to be completely averse to ever telling their kids "No"--it IS good for kids to be told there are certain limits to what they can and can't do. I don't understand why everyone is always bending over backwards trying to accommodate every outcast's or deviant's needs and desires. Give them a private outlet and let them do whatever they want outside the public's eye...
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    Aug 18, 2012 4:16 PM GMT
    If the dress fits and he has the right accessories Why not?
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  • metatextual

    Posts: 774

    Aug 18, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    Just having finished reading the article, the emphasis on clothing and makeup and other superficial elements of an individual is revealing [pun, not intended].

    Growing up, I really didn't pay much attention to what I wore, most clothes were handmedowns or bought just before the start of the school year - I don't think my parents had much of a budget for glitter, makeup or expensive, fashionable clothes.

    Sure, some boys acted more feminine, and some girls masculine, but I don't think kids really paid attention much anyway. The current culture really emphasizes hyper masculinity/femininity rather than protecting childhood, or allowing kids just to be kids.
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    Aug 18, 2012 4:53 PM GMT
    metatextual saidJust having finished reading the article, the emphasis on clothing and makeup and other superficial elements of an individual is revealing [pun, not intended].

    Growing up, I really didn't pay much attention to what I wore, most clothes were handmedowns or bought just before the start of the school year - I don't think my parents had much of a budget for glitter, makeup or expensive, fashionable clothes.

    Sure, some boys acted more feminine, and some girls masculine, but I don't think kids really paid attention much anyway. The current culture really emphasizes hyper masculinity/femininity rather than protecting childhood, or allowing kids just to be kids.


    I think this is very true. And, in our culture (as the article stated) it is ok for girls to cross over into masculine without being abnormal, yet if a guy wants to do it then an email needs to go out to the parents to let them know.

    I wish people would just let others be icon_sad.gif
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    Aug 18, 2012 4:56 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    metatextual saidJust having finished reading the article, the emphasis on clothing and makeup and other superficial elements of an individual is revealing [pun, not intended].

    Growing up, I really didn't pay much attention to what I wore, most clothes were handmedowns or bought just before the start of the school year - I don't think my parents had much of a budget for glitter, makeup or expensive, fashionable clothes.

    Sure, some boys acted more feminine, and some girls masculine, but I don't think kids really paid attention much anyway. The current culture really emphasizes hyper masculinity/femininity rather than protecting childhood, or allowing kids just to be kids.


    I think this is very true. And, in our culture (as the article stated) it is ok for girls to cross over into masculine without being abnormal, yet if a guy wants to do it then an email needs to go out to the parents to let them know.

    I wish people would just let others be icon_sad.gif


    I know right?! They're not living my life anyway. I hate the fact the people keep telling me what to do and how to think.

    I'm gonna think and act whatever way I feel like.
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    Aug 18, 2012 5:12 PM GMT
    I look at myself and I see a guy who is and always has been wholy homosexual. I have never had a heterosexual impulse in my life. Yet I have also never had any urge to cross dress, etc. That says to me that this gender-fluidity with its dressing impulses is quite separate from being gay or straight. I'll bet that boy could grow up to be straight as much as gay.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 18, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    RealSportsJock saidOne thing to let the boy do that shit at home so he can have an outlet and not be entirely repressed...it's another to let him think it's ok to go to school and do all of that. Parents should know better than to let their son go out in public dressed up as a girl...

    Parents these days (much like American society in general), seem to be completely averse to ever telling their kids "No"--it IS good for kids to be told there are certain limits to what they can and can't do. I don't understand why everyone is always bending over backwards trying to accommodate every outcast's or deviant's needs and desires. Give them a private outlet and let them do whatever they want outside the public's eye...


    You're an asshole.icon_mad.gif
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    Aug 18, 2012 5:34 PM GMT
    let boys wear their dresses, but always teach them how to accessorize.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 18, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    Reminds me that there was a time when women weren't allowed to wear pants. It all stems from chauvinism.
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    Aug 18, 2012 8:46 PM GMT
    Let them wear dresses!

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    Aug 19, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    Meet in the middle with a compromise.

    Let him wear a kilt.
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    Aug 19, 2012 8:50 PM GMT
    Nothing, until he says it's because he's gay.
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    Aug 19, 2012 8:53 PM GMT
    Caslon20000 saidI look at myself and I see a guy who is and always has been wholy homosexual. I have never had a heterosexual impulse in my life. Yet I have also never had any urge to cross dress, etc. That says to me that this gender-fluidity with its dressing impulses is quite separate from being gay or straight. I'll bet that boy could grow up to be straight as much as gay.


    Because gender nonconformity and same-sex attractions are completely distinct. One does not cause the other. Cross dressing as a profession dates back to the Shakespearean Era. It's only(mostly) today that it's becoming conflated with sexuality.
  • imbrad

    Posts: 377

    Aug 19, 2012 9:06 PM GMT
    As an aspiring choir director I have committed myself to the idea that gender roles are simply an illusion. if I have a male counter tenor who sings soprano then I will use that resource. likewise an true contacts can make a wonderful tenor. along those lines if anyone chooses to wear a dress or tuxedo regardless of gender specific norms I say yes please! I would rather teach my students that individual expression is as valuable to their experience as a human being as collaborative expression. knowing how to be an individual and a team member is part of growing up. if a little boy wants to wear a dress he is doing no harm. until some close minded "adult" labels it as such and that is the true harmful practice
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    Aug 19, 2012 9:47 PM GMT
    The idea of having kids freaks me enough, yet having to deal with such parental  challenges ! 

     
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    Aug 19, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    Life is about being happy and achieving the things that will make you happy and fulfill you. Life is also about observing how the practical world around you works in order to strategize the most practical and efficient means of achieving these things that'll make you happy.

    Is it right the world doesn't accept and embrace gender fluidity and in some cases demonizes it? No, it's not right. Is it a reality one would be met with animosity, ridicule and hostility if gender norms are pushed beyond an ambiguous but generally tangible threshold? Yes, it is.

    Observe the world and live your life according to what you want to make of it.
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    Aug 19, 2012 10:08 PM GMT
    Nothing. The only problem that exist would be other people who hold preconceived notions on what that dress means..and will rob that child of his self esteem due to their ignorance.

    The world is changing... slowly.. but surely and parents are realizing in clusters that they indeed make up the rules..and can simply allow their child to just be who he or she is. In not alloiwng them happiness and expression, a parent can KILL all self esteem..and more people are noticing that higher suicide rates and just the difference between happy and successful adults and not so happy and successful adults is self esteem and confidence.

    My mom was so cool when i was a kid to at least be read up enough to know that allwoing me to play with dolls and get an easy bake oven had nothing to do with my sexuality and everything to do with interest.

    That boy who likes dresses is most likely a fashion billionaire in the fucking making. Buy him a sewing machine and all the sketch books and fabrics in the world.
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    Aug 19, 2012 10:18 PM GMT
    RealSportsJock saidOne thing to let the boy do that shit at home so he can have an outlet and not be entirely repressed...it's another to let him think it's ok to go to school and do all of that. Parents should know better than to let their son go out in public dressed up as a girl...

    Parents these days (much like American society in general), seem to be completely averse to ever telling their kids "No"--it IS good for kids to be told there are certain limits to what they can and can't do. I don't understand why everyone is always bending over backwards trying to accommodate every outcast's or deviant's needs and desires. Give them a private outlet and let them do whatever they want outside the public's eye...


    I'm not going to get into a flamewar, but this argument is frankly misguided and fails to acknowledge today's increasingly blurred lines between public and private spaces. Moreover, the idea of permitting people to do whatever they want in private but not in public was precisely the fallacy underlying DADT and, more generally, can be used to promote any discriminatory policy.
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    Aug 19, 2012 10:23 PM GMT
    The kids dressed up will probably get treated as least as well in school as they would on realjock.
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    Aug 19, 2012 10:27 PM GMT
    Nobody has a problem with this?! The kid is 6 years old... Me personally I would not let my 6 year old kid boy or girl walk around in drag.
    In my book he's not old enough to make these kind of decisions.
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    Aug 19, 2012 10:32 PM GMT
    alittlecurious saidNobody has a problem with this?! The kid is 6 years old... Me personally I would not let my 6 year old kid boy or girl walk around in drag.
    In my book he's not old enough to make these kind of decisions.


    For that kid is not drag... it's clothes. To him it will be punishment... and taking away a toy..when there is nothing necessarily wrong with him wearing a dress.. the dress is simply a form of expression. Furthermore, various cultures have different ideas on what is and isn't masculine or femm and "drag".. such as the Kilt..

    It is up to you what your kid learns and how they feel about themselves. A dress isn't much to really be concerned about... it's other people that i would be concerned with and that can be handled.
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    Aug 19, 2012 10:36 PM GMT
    What’s So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress?

    Plenty. He's a boy!

    This will do nothing for him but embarrass himself and bring emotional and possibly physical harm to himself.


    Tristan
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    Aug 19, 2012 10:41 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    RealSportsJock saidOne thing to let the boy do that shit at home so he can have an outlet and not be entirely repressed...it's another to let him think it's ok to go to school and do all of that. Parents should know better than to let their son go out in public dressed up as a girl...

    Parents these days (much like American society in general), seem to be completely averse to ever telling their kids "No"--it IS good for kids to be told there are certain limits to what they can and can't do. I don't understand why everyone is always bending over backwards trying to accommodate every outcast's or deviant's needs and desires. Give them a private outlet and let them do whatever they want outside the public's eye...


    You're an asshole.icon_mad.gif

    I have a feeing RSJ might have been caught wearing his mothers clothes? :p
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    Aug 19, 2012 10:54 PM GMT
    GigoloAssassin saidIf the dress fits and he has the right accessories Why not?
    icon_cool.gif


    This! AND, and education on dressing around "the color of focus".